Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » Be Gentle » Ignition

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/17/2013 10:41:41 AM

Juliet McDonald
Posts: 2
This is inspired by a Paramore song, please tell me what you think of it.

I gave you all my oxygen

So let the flames begin,

Ignite the blaze between us,

My patience wearing thin.

You know I want you and,

A love that ricochets,

I want you to want me back,

I need you to stay.

I think about you,

But do you think of me?

And when our gazes meet,

What is it that you see?

I'd open up to you,

If you'd only do the same,

I'm trying to show you me,

But you barely know my name.

I can barely talk around you,

I've given too much of me,

I'm stuck firmly in suspense,

You have the air i breathe.

I've nothing more to offer,

Except the me that's within,

I gave you all my oxygen,

So let the flames begin.
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » Be Gentle » Ignition

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software