You have an ad blocker! We understand, but...

PoetrySoup is a small privately owned website. Our means of support comes from advertising revenue. We want to keep PoetrySoup alive, make it better, and keep it free. Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on PoetrySoup. See how to enable ads while keeping your ad blocker active. Also, did you know you can become a PoetrySoup Lifetime Premium Member and block ads forever...while getting many more great features. Take a look! Thank you!
Get Your Premium Membership


Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » Be Gentle » Here is he stuck, within an icy skull.

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/10/2013 9:48:40 AM

Kyle Maples
Posts: 4
This is my first Shakespearean Sonnet, so let me know what you think!



Here is he stuck, within an icy skull.
His cooling core yearns for the warmth of sun.
He sits and sees the snowflakes blend and dull
The rocky walls that trap the frozen one.
Does he succumb to numbing apathy,
Or fight winter, a battle for the daft?
December flowers wilt like his decree
To break the walls with fists and stabbing shafts.
His shaking fists make weapons hard to wield.
The beating turns his wrists to rigid casts.
A golden ray leaks through the wall that shields
And gives a glimpse of brighter sunshines past.
Always his arms grow weak, his strength gives way,
But still he tries again another day.
permalink • reply with quote
3/14/2013 3:07:37 PM

Jay Loveless
Posts: 3
First of all, this website has changed dramatically and I feel we should have a guide to all the new things given. That of course is only my own rambling and has nothing to do with your sonnet. I think you did brilliantly well, especially since you stated that you are a beginner. However, I feel it could go on. Don't stop there, let your thoughts run on.
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » Be Gentle » Here is he stuck, within an icy skull.






Powered by AspNetForum 6.6.0.0 © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software