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Forum Home » High Critique » Not sure on a title yet...

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/22/2012 8:49:14 AM

They say nothing good ever happens after 2 AM,
But lately I’m living for these early hours.
I’m begging the sun not to rise, cause the more this room floods with light
The more your demeanour towards me sours.
Because in these times, blood flowing with this poison,
You’re the person I want you to always be
Whispering words my ears spend lifetimes begging to hear,
And whispering them, just for me.
Your fingers skim my silhouette
And my skin melts under your fingertips,
Yet, all I’m left with in the morning is a pounding head,
And your heat residing on my hips.
Our guilty giggles float out through rooms
Filled with nothing but contented sleep.
And between dead of night and sunrise
Appears a secret I’m not sure I can keep.
I’m searching my body for the bruises, from the minute
I thought maybe you never wanted to let me go.
Yet part of me knows its all an act,
And sobriety puts on a far more convincing show.
I awake with an empty bed and a racing heart,
And your smell stuck to my sheets.
The problem is I haven’t been able
To get your smile off my mind for weeks.
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11/23/2012 8:20:17 PM

Sharon Morken
Posts: 133
I like this! If you're looking for suggestions for the title.."Sobriety Giggles" could work
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12/5/2012 1:53:55 PM

Luke Irwin
Posts: 3
Love the poem. First title to come to mind was "Evaporation"
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12/5/2012 10:24:45 PM

Michelle Wedman
Posts: 1
I liked it very much! Hello my name is Michelle I am new to Poetry Soup My first day was not so pleasant
The first poem I wrote someone posted a very rude comment on. Oh well gives me something new to write about. I love to write!
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12/15/2012 7:13:47 PM

Robert Jerore
Posts: 3
Maybe... Poetry on the Dark Side

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