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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/15/2012 2:02:31 PM

jamal Abboud
Posts: 3
Theydeserve high angry waves,
Thehumble obedient slaves
Havefor long served sooty sails,
Onthe sloppy deck, the tame whales
Sangsentimental verses,
Whilethey were learning hatred and curses.
Theloss of love is a tutor of hate,
Andeffects on slaked spooks were radically great.
Theylaughed and sneered and rang a bell,
Anddeclared a benign destination at will.

Thestern faced the shores and sunny land,
Eachage, face and wrinkles and mighty hand,
Workedto secure the prow into doleful end,
Eachstroke of death in wretchedness became a friend;
Wishingall to be a great lie as old immortal history,
Yetthose who tell shall narrate a heroic story,
Ignoringto mention that
Duringthe valiant final combat,
thereprobates, fearing the betrayal of storm and devil,
opened a hole in the bottom of the legendaryvessel.
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