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1/18/2020 1:46:36 AM
Topic:
New here!

Eliza Cannon
Posts: 2
Hello! My name is Eliza! Its a pleasure to be here and take part in this lovely poetry community! A bit about myself? I like to write poetry as a way of releasing my emotions and thoughts. I feel its the most beautiful way one can express themselves, even dark things are beautiful when in poetry form. Haha oops, I'm supposed to be talking about me, not how much I love poetry!

Lets see, I'm 33 years old and live in the UK, though I'm from the USA. I used to work as a graphic designer. I love video games, fantasy stories, films, etc. I am big into nature and zoology, and kind of a nerd. I also really, really, really love spinach. Okay i think that's about it!
1/14/2020 6:23:00 PM
Topic:
I'm Not a Poet

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
The two edits were correcting my spelling mistakes, I often strike 2 keys. Proof read post first? what is that?
1/14/2020 6:18:07 PM
Topic:
I'm Not a Poet

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
If as you say you are a new poet Janish. Could I suggest you try a 4 line stanza balad form abab. See how you go with that. Another could be enclosed rhyme. Again 4 line stanza abba. Concentrate on consitent syllable count.
edited by Warrenmbaht on 1/14/2020
edited by Warrenmbaht on 1/14/2020
1/14/2020 6:08:39 PM
Topic:
My first Poem

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
I go along with you. You did fully infer they were not your words. Many famous sayings, we don't even know who coined them.
1/14/2020 6:05:19 PM
Topic:
Colours of Minds

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
Lovely poem. To me great, except for a couple of 9 syllable lines. That is being picky
1/14/2020 5:51:09 PM
Topic:
Trapped

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
She is trapped in a mind that( twists and turns )....Hands are sweaty and her ( heart burns )....demons that( once were)....walls (of this castle ) Is that what you wanted Sally?
edited by Warrenmbaht on 1/14/2020
1/14/2020 5:41:41 PM
Topic:
Rat race please critique

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
I think this is in the wrong place, I really have no critiscism, can only give you acolades. I write mainly balads so the syllable count is out to me. If it is a form that the count does not have to be consistent, all is very good.
1/14/2020 3:01:17 AM
Topic:
Images

warren mbaht
Posts: 7
I have uploaded an image, I cannot see where I should place the url in relation to the poem. All I see is to use it on my page. Help please
1/13/2020 8:09:42 AM
Topic:
Rat race please critique

Eliza Cannon
Posts: 2
Rat Race

You follow the rat races, Climbing ladders that never end, Surrounded by faces, But not one you could call friend, You stare hungrily at your reflection, Picking apart your every inch, Believing beauty leads to connection, But would it save you in a pinch? You spend like there's no tomorrow, Yet for the poor you've naught to spare, But if it became your turn to borrow, Would it shock you when none will care, You trust blindly in your societies, That if you do it all you will win, But you end up drowning in anxieties, From the emptiness you feel within.


Please critique to the highest degree. Thank you
1/12/2020 10:59:52 PM
Topic:
New to the site from Australia

Darren Green
Posts: 1
Hi my name is Dash and I am new to the site; i love the old school Lake Poets bit of Khalil Gibram etc philosophy is cool, and I am trying weave my cultural experiences and community knowledge into thoughts and reflections meaningfully .....
1/12/2020 8:50:53 PM
Topic:
Lasciviousness

keith osborne
Posts: 53
I don't feel the slightest bit "cheated" by what I write. If your third paragraph is your interpretation of my poem then it has done it's job well. As far as taking words from another epoch - "All the world can be a stage, but we are merely players" from the song Limelight, seemed to have worked well for a poetic idol of mine Neil Peart. Some of the best poetry that can be read. "Jacob's Ladder" is a fantastic poem set to moving music. You should check it out. You may enjoy - if you can get past the large vocabulary. (Maybe 3 "big beautiful words" in Lascivious. Too many? Really?)
What about the suggestion I had about maybe renaming the poem? No suggestion Mr. Wilson? Rather than rewrite my perspective, how about something connecting it's audience to it's body.
edited by hempleaves13 on 1/12/2020
1/11/2020 12:59:01 PM
Topic:
Walk Alone

LeRoy Baker
Posts: 1
part aphorism, part note to self, all ambition and joyous romp
1/9/2020 7:52:20 PM
Topic:
Newbie

Jules semilore Iyen
Posts: 3
Good day everyone, I am new here.. I really do hope you will all take a chance on me and read my poems and comment, I would love some constructive criticism... haven't written in years.. thanks hope I'm welcome.
1/8/2020 12:04:59 PM
Topic:
Walk Alone

AGNA AG
Posts: 1
If you have time walk alone
in the lanes of prohibited rhymes
choose a path make it taste better than wine
Love! love! for all we know open your soul and take a walk alone.
1/7/2020 1:08:47 PM
Topic:
Lasciviousness

Jack Webster
Posts: 199
The second paragraph was an example free to steal.

You love big, beautiful words. Poems don’t have to send the reader to a dictionary every line to be beautiful, and words don’t have to be from another epoch to be eloquent.

There is much more beauty in your own lust, your need and want to be loved, the frantic willingness to surrender completely to the beautiful woman that appears, to release the fear that builds up in loneliness like an inhalation that never stops but grows to bursting, the want to be safe and cradled, the privilege of letting one’s hunger out of its fine collar and run as free as a dog in a park, sniffing everything, lapping wild waters, and curling up on the earth warmed by the sun. You’ve chosen beautiful words, but it’s a little maddening to see you cheat yourself when you have something real to offer.

If you’d prefer I not respond to posts you make, simply say the word.
1/6/2020 9:12:46 PM
Topic:
Spooky sisters. Haven't written in years. Be gentl

Jules semilore Iyen
Posts: 3
The clarion call, are coming down the stairs.
Holding specters and beholding stares
to the spooky sisters,
They are the only heirs

The spooky sisters of the square tables
In showing love the aren't able
With dice and cards they gamble
Beware of them is no fable

To behold what graceful image they carry
Even in their deepest rage
Elegance and pride is their only carriage
No matter the time, year or age

Brining an end to the spooky tales
They demand fate and praise
They deserve glory
whatever they've done
They are never sorry.
1/6/2020 9:08:58 PM
Topic:
Life. Please constructive criticism. Thanks

Jules semilore Iyen
Posts: 3
Life

Yesterday is gone Yesterday is dead Today is here weeping Weeping at her sisters departure Today is growing and going To be buried as yesterday Time and time Say we tarry not Tomorrow is an unborn orphan Everyday is a still born The future shall come to now And every now shall become then So shall every living man Who treads The orbit of life Sink and pass away Such is life.
1/5/2020 7:11:17 PM
Topic:
Insanity= please critique as honestly as possible!

Seraphina Sedeno
Posts: 1
I held on tightly.
But I watched you fall, and I couldn’t catch you.
Or maybe you let go.
And the flame went out.
But the wax kept on melting, and it hardened.
Or maybe you cut of the oxygen.
And let it starve.
Just like you watched me bleed.
When you cut me, and you let me die.
Over and over again
When will it end?
“Don’t let me go,” I whisper.
Don’t let me go.
1/5/2020 5:25:26 AM
Topic:
Lasciviousness

keith osborne
Posts: 53
I admit that I am not the most adroit at the science of titling so I may have "missed the boat" on this one. Obviously you concur. Might you be willing to offer your expertise in opting for one more apropos to the body? Might this be the issue as to why you continue to be a bane for me? Please help a fellow poet,for a change, and spread your "wisdom" to encourage a better connection with the reader rather than condescend the author with how much more eloquently the brilliant interpret what the author is trying to convey.
1/3/2020 10:50:26 AM
Topic:
Just feeling a nobody

Rainbow Promise
Posts: 60
Paparico wrote:
Therese wrote:
I am a little sad because i thought when i was still here 2 years ago i made many friends and was very happy writing poems and receiving reviews, and even became friends with many not to name them, when i left due to health problems i thought i would be missed, but nobody even knew if i was alive or dead. I was absent for 2 years due to health problems, i came back nearly a month ago, wanting to feel that i have friends to support me, but unfortunately nobody even cared to notice that i am back after i already posted 3 poems. Nobody noticed that i am here to share again with my friends. Tell them what i went through or even just to feel to let them know i am here. That made me very sad. Terry



"Friends are people who take credit for your work when you are not around to refute them!"

Jam sad too. None of my poems say the usual “Copyrighted and the date or year.

If someone goes to your link, all poems could be copied and you can’t claim ownership.

I thought that poems were protected on the Soup by being Copyrighted.

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