7/22/2024 10:04:38 AM
Topic:
Looking for some input, please
acitlak
Posts: 3
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There are some problems with the [de-DUM] iambs here. One can pass this off as iambic tetrameter (de-DUM de-DUM de-DUM de-DUM) by not enunciating the "e" in chosen:
One chos'n, | one closed | forev|ermore.
But if you do that with the previous line you are a foot short:
My path wid'ns | to two | great doors,
This line works better as anapestic (de-de-DUM) trimeter (lacking a starting syllable):
A weight|y decis|ion, how | can I choose?
The "heart" cliché can work in light verse but the inserted "do" could be over the top:
For whom my heart, I do share.
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7/19/2024 5:58:08 AM
Topic:
PB&J
Robert Humphreys
Posts: 2
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Life is a wonderful thing, the joy of it is living. As I reflect and walk...I wonder...
How does one live and go through the day? To know your heard and understood.
A Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich would help.
Smiling and remembering the joyous frustration of a glass of milk stained with satisfaction from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
The random breathe of encouragement and simple satisfaction of walking out to your balcony to feel the day.
To be spread and drawn so thin in life is our lot and a hope. So, I hold to a dream while random chance fuels me.
I am a man now...this I accept. Kicking and screaming I have graduated to Taco Bell.
The stains...they smile and remind of the warmth that is...a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I don't miss the days of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I miss who I was and I miss losing my way.
Innocence was lost and youth fullness ignored. While joy was found in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A random breathe of encouragement and a smile suited me.
As I made me....A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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7/17/2024 9:00:55 PM
Topic:
Opinions and critique happily welcomed.
Robert Humphreys
Posts: 2
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Infinitely bound
Water rushed and flowed with tremendous energy as she
used her insight and understanding to carve waterways
where none had formerly been. At times Water needed
more strength and power, while other times Water
needed to be still and silent.
Air, with his fierce winds would move and assist Water
helping her churn to create tides and crashing waves.
Air’s curious nature kept him intrigued wanting more
Water. Water spoke to Air expressing her desire and
longing for Air, as Air spoke to Water he found his
breath.
Water became still and Air became the breeze.
At times Air moved quickly and violently while Water
raged tumultuously; other times both rested and were
still. It was during these times Water and Air realized
they created and carved a newness of life from both the
raging tumult and fierce winds.
Water and Air understood there was no stillness and
peace without the raging tumult and fierce winds.
In the chaos and stillness Water and Air became one,
and Water began to carry Air as Air began to carry
Water and together Water and Air were infinitely bound
one to the other.
edited by rghj2 on 7/17/2024
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7/17/2024 7:39:23 AM
Topic:
G'Day
Jessica Friend
Posts: 4
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Hello no you do not have to be a premium member to post and respond. i am not a premium member and i able to post and respond. have a wonderful day!
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7/17/2024 7:10:28 AM
Topic:
Looking for some input, please
Jessica Friend
Posts: 4
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Hello i enjoyed reading your poem and it is very beautiful. thank you for sharing. i wish i new more about this however each day i gain a little more. have a blessed day.
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7/16/2024 5:13:00 PM
Topic:
G'Day
Benson Mak
Posts: 1
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Hi. I asked chat GPT for the most active Poetry Forums on the internet. Poetry Soup was second. Good work. 
Do you have to be a Premium Member to post and respond to poems here guys?
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7/16/2024 11:17:37 AM
Topic:
BEGINNER, HEADING IN RIGHT DIRECTION?
Jessica Friend
Posts: 4
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thank you to all who take the time and critique my poem. this is the very first time i am allowing anyone other than my kids or other half read anything of mine. i am also unsure exactly how it is suppose to be formatted, ive read and still not exactly sure if i got it yet. i will take all and any help...
i am very excited and nervous about this new adventure i am embarking on. many more too come thank you all agian
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7/16/2024 11:11:58 AM
Topic:
BEGINNER, HEADING IN RIGHT DIRECTION?
Jessica Friend
Posts: 4
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Sheep of many colors
Baa baa black Sheep yellow, red, and blue sheep too.
I fall asleep counting colorful sheep who have plenty of bright itchy wool.
Being a meat connoisseur and far from a vegetarian,
I do not discriminate what color sheep I get my meat from,
It must be bright pink when it lays on my plate.
Baa baa black sheep yellow, red, and blue sheep alike,
Now there will be no questions about having bags of wool.
Plenty of bags filled with colorful itchy wool to sell and donate even more.
We always sell to our funny disastrous friend of our boss’s
who lends a hand and helps takes care of us.
Then to the dame who has a fat cat and who is completely insane.
She makes cat hats out of our colorful itchy wool.
Finally, and our favorite customer a little boy who get some donated to
He lives at the end of our lane.
He always flies his airplane here each year.
Baa baa black sheep yellow, red, and blue sheep
Are done giving themselves until this time next year.
By: Jessica Friend
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7/12/2024 8:44:09 PM
Topic:
Looking for some input, please
Tracy Etheridge
Posts: 1
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A Garden of Weeds
My path widens to two great doors,
One chosen, one closed forevermore.
A weighty decision, how can I choose?
Each a dream I would hate to lose.
Once a maiden, a child so fair,
For whom my heart, I do share.
Without them, my heart would surely harden,
But I worry about rocks in my garden.
The other, I feel is an easier road,
An easying of life’s load.
A chance to live as it was meant to be,
Hopefully, to enjoy what is left for me.
Undecided, I let time march on the doors,
While I pondered what each had in store.
If I could just see where that lead,
I don’t want to end with a garden of weeds.
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7/10/2024 10:07:04 PM
Topic:
Looking for Critique
acitlak
Posts: 3
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You might be able to rework this:
you will forget me in some short months
when i wash ashore in a new country
a fresh face in a sea of strangers
still searching for your gaze
Tighten it and get some iambs, including doubles, working for you:
You'll forget me
until I wash ashore,
a fresh face searching for your gaze.
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7/9/2024 11:22:06 AM
Topic:
The Art of getting Hurt (What an Art to get Hurt!)
Christine Morota
Posts: 2
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You were enchanted by the mystery,
You thought it was love and pursued me.
Been excited to discover every part of me.
Touched me like a book, what an interesting story it could be.
I am just ordinary,
people might see me as an old book
that could not be understood easily.
I am just nobody,
but you brought me up to life
where my existence has been saved from a tragedy.
You have stolen my heart
that made my feelings to ramble.
'T was confusing...
and for a moment, I never thought
that this will cause me to slumber.
'T was frightening...
A nightmare when we became lovers.
We both made this story, a fairytale.
In the end, it's ourselves that we fail.
Fantasizing each word, trying to mend the aching wounds.
It's not the sword that cuts, but the lies that's ripping us
'till we hear the rhythm of the heart that pounds.
I have never lived my life through your expectations.
Still, we tried to chase everybody at their romantic phase,
while being deceived by our own illusions.
As I turned the page, showing fears that I couldn't face.
I laughed when you told me that, alone, I can write it beautifully.
like the songs with a perfect melody.
You think that tearing me apart could turn into a perfect art,
Leaving me afraid and lonely.
I was left there, hanging.
In every page, horrible scenarios are ranging
I was left there hoping,
Just in case there still be a happy ending.
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7/7/2024 7:35:28 PM
Topic:
Looking for Critique
Ryan Blackborough
Posts: 5
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I like this, it has a certain honesty to it.
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7/6/2024 8:37:52 AM
Topic:
Apply for second citizenship with your family's
abruzzi0077
Posts: 3
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7/2/2024 10:36:02 PM
Topic:
Looking for Critique
Victoria Lucas
Posts: 10
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you hold me dead like a fish
we are strangers, and we talk about work
in this moment, I’ve never seen you naked
with tears staining your cheeks, slurring,
“I love you”
we smoke a spliff and laugh about things that don’t matter
all while your smell still lingers in these sheets
without care for the laundry,
the painstaking monotony it has taken to erase you
It means nothing, was nothing
you will forget me in some short months
when i wash ashore in a new country
a fresh face in a sea of strangers
still searching for your gaze
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7/2/2024 10:03:13 PM
Topic:
Hello everyone
Erica Clarke
Posts: 3
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Hello everyone, how's everyone? What's everyone up to?
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6/30/2024 5:47:57 PM
Topic:
anyone else have a muse?
maya they them
Posts: 2
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hi everyone. my name is squoing, i'm in my early 20s, and i'm only here because i want to get better at poetry and read everyone else's nice poems! i'm trying to put together a really nice, polished, poignant collection for my muse, who is my partner of 2 years, friend and confidante for more. i think we met when i was like, 19. i don't remember.
i just want to git gud so i can present him with a poetry book of all the stuff i've written over the years dedicated to him, and have it be really nice. do any of you guys have someone or something a good amount of your poetry centers around?
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6/28/2024 6:55:31 PM
Topic:
New to Poetry Soup
Erica Clarke
Posts: 3
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Hello PS, how's everyone?
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6/28/2024 6:53:02 PM
Topic:
Contest entry: anyone willing to read/critique?
Erica Clarke
Posts: 3
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That was beautiful
amazing rhyming through the whole poem
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6/27/2024 1:34:50 AM
Topic:
AM I THE ONLY TEEN ON POETRY SOUP?
Tonye George
Posts: 2
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Lol. No, you don't. We both shouldn't be here.
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6/26/2024 3:37:10 AM
Topic:
Logging in means I can't read poems
Janet Jackson
Posts: 1
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It keeps taking me to the Member Admin area
And will not load a poem???
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