Techno-Limericks Contest to be Co-Judged - Carolyn Devonshire's Blog

Do you talk to your GPS, your refrigerator, an electric drill, even your hair dryer -- any appliance that's giving you problems?   Alexa Brus and I are co-judging a limerick contest on this.  See our co-write below for inspiration: "Automated GPS of the Future Gone Haywire."  We're looking for humor, but our write is not in limerick style.  Feel free to write in a famous person's voice as we did in our example.  All entries should" be true limericks with the appropriate rhyme (aabba) scheme and syllable schemes as outlined on the Poetry Soup Forms.  Essentially, lines one, two and five have the same number of syllables from 7-10 and rhyme with each other.  Lines three and four have the same number of syllables from 5-7 and also rhyme with each other.  Just one, single limerick is desired.

Choose a creative title for bonus points.  This does not have to be a new poem if you alreay wrote on this theme in limerick form.  Laughs, spelling and adherence to the limerick form will be factors in the judging process.

With two judges the rankings of each sometimes differ widely, but we'll just add up the points and post the winners.  We'll shoot for 10 winners, but sometimes when co-judging, points are tied.

How about some laughs?

Automated GPS of the Future Gone Haywire! (By Alexa and Carolyn)

Car Door opening....  Don't get too comfortable.You never know where we'll end up.

A sexy voice:           Welcome to the automated GPS system, please enter your
                               destination. 315 East Street, thank you, proceed...

Niles Crane:             Is that what you are wearing?! That's one fashion
                               faux pas I would have avoided today.

Frasier Crane:          Oh shut up, Niles! Let the man drive!

Driver:                     Oh man! Frickin roadwork! I'm going to be late!

Leo Getz:                First, they screw you at the Drive-Thru, then they
                               screw you at the hospital, then with cell phones
                               now with the road work! look at them standing 
                               there! Frickin guys they don't care if you're late
                               and all the damage it does to your car, then you
                               have to take it to the garage then the mechanic
                               smiles and you know he's going to screw you too!

Riggs and Murtaugh: Leo! Shut up!
(Lethal Weapon)
Leo Getz:                 Okay! Okay! I get it!

Clint Eastwood:       "I know what you're thinking.  Should I turn left or right? 
                               So what do you say, punk? Are you feeling lucky today?"

Mr.T:                       You'd better shut up, fool! now turn here, sucker!

Frank Barone:          Oh excuse me, I forgot to signal there's only one
                               signal you need, let me find it, oh! here it is!
                              
Frasier:                   That is NOT one of our signals!!!!               

Marie Barone:          Frank! just ignore his obnoxious, horse's ass of a  personality.

Jill Taylor:                Why can't we stop and ask for directions?
(Tool Time)
Tim Taylor:              Because we're almost THERE!

Sandra Bullock:        What happens when this car runs out of gas and the speed drops below 50?

Keanu Reeves:         Stay above 50!

The Terminator:       "You think you can drive faster than I can?  Hasta la vista, baby."

Sandra Bullock:       Officer! officer! stay on or get off? Stay on or get off ?!!!
(Speed)
Keanu Reeves:        Get off!!

Alexa Brus:             Carolyn! watch out for that car! Mailbox!

                              (screech of brakes, tires squealing)

Steve McQueen:      How cool to be airborne!
(Bullit)
Alexa Brus:             (sigh) it was such pretty mailbox.....

Sandra Bullock        Stay out of my way! stay out of my way!

Slow lady driver:      Oh, look, they're all waving fingers at me.  I wonder what that means?
 
Lady's son:              It's a Hawaiian "hello" gesture.
 
Slow lady driver:      Aloha to you my friends! (as she waves finger back)

Carolyn Devonshire:  Aloha to the rear of my car -- dadgum mailbox! where did THAT come from?
 
Alexa Brus:   Aloha to taking anymore trips with Devonshire.  They need to take away that sorry old coot's license.  Where's the bus stop? Oh...I see...it WAS behind the mailbox. Is there a train nearby?

Frasier Crane:     People, listen to me!!!! We are trying to get this man to his destination! Now let us all calm down. Driver, you may continue
                              
all voices:      Turn here! NO, it's here! You are all off; it's two blocks down....

                             ( crashing, banging sound )

Niles Crane:     How rude! How DARE you rip us out like that, I've never been treated so shabbily in...
 
                              (whirr of window going down, metal clank on pavement)


Radio Announcer:  Hey! San's Sunshine Radio coming at you thanks for tuning in today, in the news today noted author and Poetry Soup poet Carolyn Devonshire was involved in a spectacular traffic collision, police are investigating after an out of control car sideswiped Devonshire's vehicle sending it airbourne into mailboxes and a bus shelter. No injuries have been reported. Wow! Amazing driving by Ms. Devonshire! Alright! let's send this one out to her it's Rick James and Superfreak!

Rick James:  "She's a very special girl! She's a superfreak! superfreak! She's super freaky, yeowww! Temptations sing! ohhhh! That girl's a superfreak!"