Carolyn Devonshire | + Follow Poet |
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Searing Pain Reemerges

searing pain reemerges
each time I pass the hospital
     creeping up to burn my eyes
          subsiding with time, but never forgotten

when the doctor gave his prognosis
all Dad’s children were there
     blades of hopelessness hit my heart
          cutting it into pieces

instructions came in his living will
we did as he requested
     wishing I could take this last journey with him
          but knowing he would want us to thrive  

my hand on his, I bowed my head
the puddle beneath me grew with each tear
     another loving memory
          another agonizing drop

many minutes seemed to pass
after machines were disconnected
     too many minutes
          too many memories




August 4, 2020
For Constance’s “Dusty Old Memories” contest

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2020

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Sandra Haight Date: 8/24/2021 9:03:00 AM Dear Carolyn, your poem touched my heart, as it reflects my own journey in losing my Dad. I neglected to comment when I first read your poem last year and praying that you can feel my accolades from Heaven now. I am using your touching verse as my tribute to your wonderful poems for Andrea's contest. Rest in peace, dear friend. Hugs, Sandra <3 Login to Reply

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 8/10/2020 9:40:00 AM This poem is touching and very sad, I know you feel dear Carolyn, my father died at 67, young for today's world. He had cancer of the bronchial tubes, and it progressed and reached every part of his body - from a man who was 102 kilos, he went down to 40 kilos- I watched him dying a little every day, until finally he had a heart attack and died. I was hopelessly sad - my son 7 years old cried the whole day and night. The heart aches so much for our loved ones when they leave us. Blessings and hugs, Jennifer. Login to Reply Carolyn Devonshire Date: 8/10/2020 10:54:00 AM How sad you saw your father losing weight like that. A friend stayed in my guest room while he was battling cancer and his weight dropped from 165 pounds to 98 pounds. So sorry for your loss, Jennifer.

Mark Koplin Date: 8/9/2020 3:32:00 PM Very moving and well written. The best gift you could have ever given, was being there when he died. Well done I’m proud of you. Congratulations on your win. Login to Reply Carolyn Devonshire Date: 8/10/2020 10:56:00 AM The nurses said few people have all of their children with them when they die. I couldn't leave him.

Aditi Mishra Date: 8/8/2020 4:04:00 AM Carolyn you've expressed the agony of those moments in such touching words. Your tender words portray how strong you are. Congratulations on your win! :) Much love Login to Reply

Constance La France Date: 8/7/2020 12:33:00 PM Carolyn, congratulations on your win in my memories contest with this excellent write, so emotional, it touched my heart, a FAV for me _Constance Login to Reply

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 8/7/2020 1:40:00 AM - A lovely and sensitive poem with dusty memories,Carolyn - Some memories we could wish not to remember - Congratulations on your win :) - Happy weekend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply

John Watt Date: 8/6/2020 11:11:00 PM I feel your sorrow through your powerful words Carolyn. You have touched my soul. Congratulations on this deserving win ~ John Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/6/2020 8:06:00 PM Congratulations, Carolyn, This was such a great entry for the contest. Login to Reply

Regina Mcintosh Date: 8/6/2020 7:25:00 PM This is a bittersweet touch of your heart that whispers through the intimate tears I know you must have wept. God bless you and your memories! Your words are such a touching memorial - Loving and heartfelt, tender and warm, a soft embrace that calms the weary soul Login to Reply

Gershon Wolf Date: 8/6/2020 2:50:00 PM Wow! Penetrates the reader's heart immediately. With you 110%. May your dad rest in peace. Poetry Hugs, Gershon Login to Reply

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 8/6/2020 10:48:00 AM Wow Carolyn, this poignant piece really hits home! It is so difficult to let go and say goodbye. Superbly expressed! I am sorry for your loss. Blessings xxoo Login to Reply

Quoth Theraven Date: 8/6/2020 8:33:00 AM Carolyn, Fine poem that pushed the feels button. Many memories recalled by some to share in this tear-filled poem you wrote with such finesse. We discuss these matters at work on occasion. Can you appreciate the sweeter things in life without also enduring the bitter? Thanks for sharing this. -Richard Login to Reply

Vladislav Raven Date: 8/6/2020 7:35:00 AM Hi Carolyn, one can feel the sadness in this writefrom the beginning to the end. I sat with my mother as she died , just watching, helpless. It is the saddest thing. Following a loved ones will is the worst thing of all. As always, you write your work with great sensitivity. Have a wonderful Thursday. Love and Hugs....Mike. XX Login to Reply

Gordon Mcconnell Date: 8/5/2020 2:52:00 PM So sad piece Carolyn, really breaks the heart indeed but you've penned this beautifully and with real sensitivity. Blessings always,Gordon Login to Reply Carolyn Devonshire Date: 8/6/2020 2:02:00 PM Thanks, Gordon. It is hard to write about deaths in the family, but sometimes it helps release pain.

Tom Cunningham Date: 8/5/2020 6:59:00 AM Painful memories Carolyn, its an experience we all dread. Tom Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/4/2020 4:24:00 PM wow, a very powerful and sad memory, Carolyn. Sorry it happened that way for him. Login to Reply

Rico Leffanta Date: 8/4/2020 2:20:00 PM I shall always remember the bus stops in Germany after WWII, where entire families would turn out to send someone off knowing they might never see them again, but dreams do allow us to revisit our loved ones in good health and happy times! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply

Vijay Pandit Date: 8/4/2020 2:05:00 PM Touching write, Carolyn--your poem evokes saddened memories quite eloquently my friend. Login to Reply

Jan Allison Date: 8/4/2020 1:11:00 PM oh gosh Carolyn what a heartbreaking scenario, I welled up reading your sad poem, how heartbreaking to watch your loved one pass away knowing you can do nothing to have helped them:-( hugs jan xx Login to Reply