Daver Austin

ANIMAL COURT I relate this story from my room in the Quiet Vale Giggling Academy A reader might find my story hard to believe BUT! At one time in my life – As a matter of fact quite recently – I had just finished Dr. Doolittle’s great study ‘Talk to the Animals” And after several months of following Doolittle’s observations Found I could actually understand animal talk Which was really just grunts growls and bodily motions – Tail switches Chop-licking Lurches Farts Things such as that Quite by accident While walking in the woods one day I happened on a scene A robin told me was ‘animal court’ Resided over by Judge Grump At once I noticed a huge lion Seated on a stump His heavy tail thumping the back of the stump “When Grump thumps the stump court will come to order And when Grump thumps the stump all better listen!” sang the robin There were a number of spectators - Squirrels Possums Raccoons Deer Birds All chattering at once So that Grump had to thump the stump many times Growling horrendously till they stopped chattering There was no jury No lawyers Just this marvelously striped tiger Tail down Standing in front of Grump seated on his stump I assumed the tiger was the defendant The lion judge began with a thump of the stump “You are accused of eating your best friend Is that correct?” The tiger swished his tail “Yes” “A dachshund named Stretch Is that correct?” The tiger swished his tail “Yes’ “Sad” the lion judge continued “You were reported to have done everything together – Touched noses Sniffed out-holes Even wrestled together Such fine friends What could have caused such an action on your part?” At this point the attending group began chattering vigorously The lion judge Grump thumped the stump Thumped And thumped As thumping the stump wasn’t loud enough he growled Finally the crowd quieted “How could you do such a thing to your friend Stretch I’m stumped.” The tiger looked around Eyes blazing Jowls dripping Gorgeous stripes undulating blazing in the sun Tail swishing in manner of reply “I was hungry” he said “Case dismissed!” said Grump With a thump of the stump! * Written by late Souper Daver Austin in 2009. We miss you, Daver. Who else could write something like this? (We were good friends and spent hours on the phone during football seasons. The game is not the same without Daver.) Submitted June 23, 2020 for Anthony Biaanco's "Uncontest"