Barbara Gorelick Poet Rhyme

Letting Go

I tried to keep my love with me
behind a garden wall….
with willow trees and roses sweet
and berries in the fall…….
                          But there he stood, looking through the gated door. 

I tried to keep my love with me
on a ship that sailed the blue….
With gusty winds so wild and free
And birds that proudly flew.
                          But there he stood, looking toward the shore.

I tried to keep my love with me
Upon the tallest mountain peak….
With air so pure and vistas grand
Where angels came to speak.
                          But there he stood, looking at the valley floor.

My love is now gone from me
With quickened step he went his way…
With heart in hand I said goodbye
My love, I could not beg him stay.
                        But he turned and smiled at me, as he went through the door.

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Destiny Echo March 4, 2010 at 12:44 PM This is a great poem! It gives an amazing visual :) Keep up the good work. -Echo

James Fraser April 24, 2009 at 6:18 PM Oh my, what a lovely write. If you closed your eyes you were there, and the scent of the garden, Wow

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire March 31, 2009 at 9:02 PM Dear Barbeeg Barbara, It's Magnificent POEMS like this that I wrote "If I could" If I had half YOUR POETIC Talent I could call myself a POET Very Heart touching Superb Write ALWAYS...HG

Ronald Bingham March 28, 2009 at 6:25 PM Outstanding, I love this style. Such a harmonic rhythm, super job. God Bless, Ron

Joyce Johnson March 28, 2009 at 3:25 PM Very nice I like the line at the end of each stanza. Make the reader eager for the next situation. Thank you for reading and commenting on mine. Love, Joyce

Christopher Higgins March 28, 2009 at 10:17 AM This is very sad...the ending with the smile hurts...loved how you developed this piece and showed the progression of a lover leaving..Good write Barbara.

Carrie Richards March 28, 2009 at 7:59 AM Beautiful, so wonderful but sad, so filled with emotion. Amazing poem, Barbara...letting go is something one always must face sooner or later. ~ Love, Carrie

Sharon Winter March 28, 2009 at 6:18 AM Oh my heart, what a beautiful write! One of my favs of yours (do I keep saying that?) I believe that parting smile was all for you. One that I would hold and treasure forever. Outstanding poetry! Love, Shar

Brian Strand March 28, 2009 at 2:26 AM Really like the kyrielle flavour in this piece BG.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments

Carolyn Devonshire March 27, 2009 at 10:16 PM This reads like a classic, Barbara. Your talent is so amazing. Outstanding structure and a brilliant image in every verse! Another favorite from you.

Lena Townsend March 27, 2009 at 9:58 PM This is sad but brings to mind that saying "if you love someone set them free if they come back to you they are yours to keep, if they don't they never were to begin with." This is so beautifully written with so much passion and heart, great job! Peace, Love and Light be with you always in all you do. Smiles from Lolita

Tyesha Ehigiator March 27, 2009 at 8:26 PM Barbara, this is a very sad and passionate write..Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing we can do but is necessary to heal and move on to something better...I loved the way you expressed yourself here...Beautifully written.I hope that true love finds you, the love that doesn't leave but stays forever..GB, Always Tyesha