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How do you handle the inner critic? - Agnes Krampe's Blog

About Agnes Krampe
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I grew up in Germany and started writing poetry as a child. I wanted to be a pirate or a writer or an opera singer and ended up becoming a physicist. I moved to the US in 2002 and live in a small town in the Midwest. After more than a decade of being unable to write in either language, I resumed writing poetry, now in English, in 2014. I am also a hiker and photographer. Some of my poetry and nature photography is on my website

How do you handle the inner critic?

Blog Posted:8/29/2018 5:03:00 PM

A recent poetry reading binge left me dejected, because I started comparing, and it brought my inner critic out in full force. 

You know, the voice that says "You are just an amateur! Your poetry is no good. You're an imposter. And you seriously want to submit to publish? They will laugh at your stuff."

What do you do when the inner critic rips you to shreds? How do you find the self confidence to put your work out there? When you feel they're all so much better than you?

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Date: 9/25/2018 1:06:00 PM
Agnes, I truly believe that it's just part of being an artist. We are always very critical of ourselves and feel that so many are better than us, whether it be poetry, painting, sculpting, singing, whatever. I read once that John Lennon couldn't stand the sound of his voice, he felt so many were better than him and believe he was terrible. They way I look at it is, if we ever get to the point where we think we are the best, then we stop trying and before long we really aren't that good anymore. You are a fantastic poet and the people here who read your work I know will agree with me. Write to make yourself happy and if it others enjoy it along the way, then that is a bonus. That's my opinion
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/27/2018 6:34:00 AM
Thank you for your kind encouragement, Chris. I means a lot to me.
Date: 9/5/2018 3:50:00 PM
One of the peevishly annoying scenarios within the universal poetic realm is that "amateur poet vs poet" designation. What does that mean? Publication doesn't make one a poet. Poesy competence makes one a poet. Study works crafted across the broadest spectrum possible; you will find your chair in the pantheon. All belong (some admittedly "better" than others) but if poets are in competition they are already treading in shark infested pools. Be Agnes, Poet. That is enough and more. $.02 ~~~ :-)
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/5/2018 5:06:00 PM
Thanks, Wayne. :)
Date: 8/31/2018 1:35:00 PM
(2) ... I have been so blessed to find this place, and made some lifelong friends that have seen through my lack of confidence and encouraged me to share and feel GOOD about my work. I still DON'T feel good about it, but I'm getting there, and I see the issue as a positive thing, because it keeps me striving to improve and grow, and I think, for me personally, that if I was "satisfied" with my writing I would be apt to not work as hard at getting BETTER, and I believe that when we stop growing and learning, we stop LIVING, and lose our inside child, and that is something I hope to NEVER do. So, despite my rambling here I guess I'm saying that it's not always a bad thing. Blessings, Friend!
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Wayne Kingston
Date: 9/5/2018 3:30:00 PM
GRB is clearly an accomplished poet of exceptional talent, gifts, insights, emotional awareness, and vulnerability. His work is stellar and among the finest on PS. Just saying. :-)
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2018 7:03:00 PM
Thank you, Gregory.
Date: 8/31/2018 1:30:00 PM
This site has helped me a great deal, Agnes, and the good friends I've made here who have been so incredibly encouraging. I am blessed. I am chronic with my self-deprecation, and I was raised to believe that NOTHING I ever did was ever "good enough", sadly, so it comes easily to me. I'm not whining - it is what it is - but I had straight A's until I was a senior in high school when I received my first B ... I had never heard "great job", but that day was one of the worst of my life. I think MANY parents were that way in the days of we Baby Boomers, but it has been hard to overcome. I am a perfectionist with OCD, so it's VERY difficult to like ANYthing I produce, but people here have helped..
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 2:58:00 PM
gosh, Greg, my mom was so supportive of me. I was her oldest (the "student" of the family always with my nose in a book) so she praised me all the time and never said anythng about my Bs in horrible algebra or chemistry class. Sorry you had to grow up that way.
Date: 8/31/2018 10:01:00 AM
Agnes, ..unless one is hoping to write and publish a book of poetry to please a wide range audience, I would advise each one of us to write to please ourselves. The poems that are my personal favorites, are those that have meaning to me, .... written from my own life experience. Not everyone will "get" our words, which come from our own hearts. But after being here on PS for a few years, I've come to the realization that if it touches only a few readers, there is much satisfaction.. And that makes it worthwhile. I don't consider myself much of a critic, but several of your poems truly touched my heart. I wish I had written them. Keep writing for you! You are your own best critic :)
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2018 7:04:00 PM
Thank you for your encouragement, Carrie.
Date: 8/31/2018 9:47:00 AM
Agnes,The contests here are a critique of sorts , only they are implied.Perhaps a n/a often says more about the poetics (or lack of them)of a poem than a success.Just saying this as an observation, by a long time contest sponsor. Admittedly, in my contests placings are less about form(which I never check out ) or a particular theme but are more concerned with the poetical insights and feeling.
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/4/2018 8:57:00 AM
Thank you, Brian. This is certainly true for some contests (and I highly respect yours!), but in others, I am scratching my head how obviously flawed poems win. Contest success often seems to be more a matter of matching the sponsor's taste than of actual quality.
Date: 8/31/2018 1:00:00 AM
Everyone made good points here, Agnes. We should know ourselves well enough to know our flaws and our strengths. My strength is in traditional forms while I would say yours is in free verse. But I think we both can do anything if we really put our hearts into it. I know i will never be a poet like the modern world publishes. I have learned to accept this. I met with Utah Society of POets years ago . Everyone read his own free verse poem and analyzed it to DEATH. This made me want to gag. It came my turn and I read Cinder Girl. They just said "oh, nice." That poem has been a huge success online for me, yet by Utah Poetry Society standards I am a nothing. I want to just rub shoulders with fellow poets here at Soup where we can enjoy all types of forms and varying degrees of talents. Honestly not many folks read poetry books anymore. OUr peers read us here more than we will be read in print. I've had people approach me to use a few of my poems in their class, or in a song or with a photograph, etc. This warms my heart and makes me feel that this site can lead to opportunities as well as the inspiration to write and make friends.
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 2:55:00 PM
It's been tried in several places where I was active, Agnes. It never worked out. POets are VERY sensitive. Any hint of constructive criticism, half of them get very defensive. I was very tactful but I had several poets become like ice toward me when I offered suggestions in emails (like they asked me to do). In open forums, fights would break out over feelings hurt. In the Utah society circle, I was bored to tears how they analyzed every little line but if you like that kind of thing, find out where your local poetry regional clubs are!
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:17:00 AM
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Andrea; they mean a lot to me. I do like the cameraderie on Soup; however, I don't feel it helps me to improve my writing (beyond giving me an incentive to write), since there is no actual critique happening. I would love to be part of a live workshop group or something, where people give each other constructive feedback and make suggestions. Don't get me wrong, encouragement is wonderful, but at some point, constructive criticism is needed to point out the flaws oneself does not notice. Does that make sense?
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 1:05:00 AM
Also, your work is outstanding, Agnes. Do NOT underestimate yourself.
Date: 8/30/2018 3:42:00 PM
Print poetry is ruled by arrogant and established elites. They function as dictators and deliberate crushers of young and/or unknown talent. To garner any real promotion from these "people" one must bow to their demands and their bias. Agree to enslave ones art to their whims, fancies and rules they use to maintain their positions and justifications for they having ruling authority over modern poetry, IMHO. Some of us simply refuse to bow.. Some of us refuse to write/wrap candy for the masses..(we stay true to our hearts) My inner critic and my muse would disown me if I did that, IMHO.. signed, (jaded with just cause)..
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:13:00 AM
Thank you for your perspective, Robert. Yes, I have though a lot about the whole issue of conforming to what we think is expected, and I think that cannot work, because we cannot sound authentic if we bend ourselves to others' expectations. I am not quite as jaded; I think there are magazines and anthologies that actively counteract this trend and want to give a forum to new emerging poets. But I don't really know that much about the publishing world...
Date: 8/30/2018 11:45:00 AM
I think your poetry (at least what I have read so far) is certainly worth reading and usually very far from hopelessly amateurish.....We all have that "inner critic" (at least those of us who have any concern at all about writing as well as we can), and we all, also, have our own histories and unique experiences and differences, which affect what we value and disdain. Some published/well-known poets are very academic and have rather rigid views about how poems should be written and what they should not address (many disparage anything very personal and encourage avoiding self-referential topics)...but I say write well, whatever you choose!
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:11:00 AM
Thanks, Leo. I am sure we all have that inner critic, and how well we manage to coexist with it varies form time to time :)
Date: 8/30/2018 5:14:00 AM
Agnes,One of my other poetic hobbies is to purchase and review published poets that I come across.Over the past year ,alone for example I have revewed 50+ thereof on Amazon. As you know, I am a long -time contest sponsor on PS and have been priviledged to read the poetry of hundreds of poets published here over the past decade or so. I would say there are( and have been) dozens of so called 'hobbiest poets ' here in our workshop who are more than equal to those who have been fortunate enough to be 'print published'.
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 10:59:00 AM
Thanks Brian; I really appreciate your encouragement.
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Brian Strand
Date: 8/30/2018 10:15:00 AM
No, you are not deluding yourself Agnes.
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 8:55:00 AM
You are absolutely right, Brian - being published is not a measure for quality. the reason I mentioned the critic commenting on publishing is that I am currently preparing a submission, and reading the magazines always leaves me second guessing whether I am not deluding myself when I think my work should be included. I know that being published is not the same as being "good", but I have come across some really good poets...
Date: 8/29/2018 10:41:00 PM
That’s a good question, Agnes. What helps me is acknowledging that I not only have my inner critic but also my inner muse. Sometimes they get along and sometimes they don’t. If I listen to both I maintain my joy. By listening to my inner muse I continue to write. By listening to my inner critic I learn from my mistakes, learn from others and hope in the process I just might get a little better :) This, in addition to the encouragement we get from the comments left by our fellow poets, is enough to keep me going.
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 9/1/2018 9:08:00 AM
Hey, Mark - I was going to reply, but you said my thoughts! I'll add that if writing is an inner prompt you've long felt, I believe it is meant to feed you and your journey. I have terrible wars with doubt but a right mood wins the bout using my inherent truths. Like others, my self esteem was parental careened way before I was a teen and I never showed the poems I secretly wrote in my room. If one is here, they are meant to be here, whether for periods of time or a number of experiences. Change your channel, darken doubts station - you feel who you are - a gift to us all. Positive embraces ... CayCay
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 8:52:00 AM
Thanks, Mark, that makes sense. It's about the balance between the muse and the critic. I love my inner critic when she is constructive, but I hate it when she becomes disparaging
Date: 8/29/2018 9:27:00 PM
like sports turning professional, there's very little heart in art turning professional; the reason you write's the key. If you're trying to be published, best go suck up to those in charge & they'll publish crap if bribed enough or made to feel superior. Art's such a matter of taste, experience, money etc; how is one to judge? You like what you like for reasons that can be illogical but they make you happy; what makes you think other writes are so much better than yours? I tend to go: wow, that's a really different way to see things and it's cool but that's not me and move on. I think the enjoyment of writing is what matters most. If it touches others, bonus! I think you're good! :)
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taai tekai
Date: 8/30/2018 9:42:00 AM
true - it is most difficult with singing I cannot really close one's ears off if the voice is jarring the way one can close the eyes or stop reading lol :)
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Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 8:50:00 AM
You are absolutely right: the enjoyment is the most important thing. However, I think there are some measures of quality that go beyond personal taste. Florence Foster Jenkins was a passionate singer, got great enjoyment out of it - and by any measure was absolutely horrible :)

My Past Blog Posts

How do you handle the inner critic?
Date Posted: 8/29/2018 5:03:00 PM
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Date Posted: 7/15/2018 7:01:00 PM
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Date Posted: 12/23/2017 3:43:00 PM
Hopelessly behind
Date Posted: 9/6/2017 1:00:00 PM
Help me learn to revise
Date Posted: 8/27/2017 1:41:00 PM
Confused: English quitain example on PS
Date Posted: 7/12/2017 2:16:00 PM
I am still here - was just gone for trip
Date Posted: 6/7/2017 6:14:00 AM
Can you choose your themes?
Date Posted: 5/17/2017 4:38:00 PM
All kinds make a world
Date Posted: 5/5/2017 7:26:00 AM
Sharing poetry
Date Posted: 4/10/2017 6:13:00 PM
How do you work on your poetry?
Date Posted: 4/5/2017 5:59:00 PM

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9/27/2018 I have known Free verselife,
9/27/2018 Home Free versechildhood,home,memory,
9/25/2018 Revision Free versewriting,
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7/12/2018 Evening Performance Free versenature,night,
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6/24/2018 Nineseventeenpm Free versegoodbye,summer,
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6/12/2018 Summer Versesummer,
6/6/2018 The Gristmill Free versenature,summer,
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The Baptism Sonnetbaptism,beach,peace,spiri
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MAIDEN OF SUMMER Personificationseasons,
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Autumn Fire Acrosticautumn,
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Crying for Light, for All Hallows and Samhain Rhymedeath,halloween,light,lov
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BUTTERFLIES OF BEAUTY Light Versebeauty,butterfly,self,
Shadow Poets Monorhymepoets,
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Bending the darkness Rhymeencouraging,fear,strength
Alternative Facts Rhymetruth,
Dust Haikutree,
I DANCE Prose Poetryabuse,dance,music,pain,
Still In Love Versedance,happiness,love,marr
A Chicago Pearl Free verselife,
Bruised but not Broken Rhymehope,
December Free versechristmas,december,winter
Somber Days Free verseday,november,tree,
Twenty Years From Now Rhymedeath,emotions,humanity,l
It Matters Not Quatraindark,lost love,
Night Mares Sonnetmyth,night,sky,universe,
Come With Me Lyric 
A Grain of Sand Free verseinspirational,
Desiring to know the Totem Guiding Me Proseanimal,
Vanity Thy Name is Metro-Man Free versemen,vanity,
A Poetry Collection Free verseart,guitar,humanity,intro
Could It Be In Despair Versedeath,lost love,love,
Here lies she Free versedeath,grave,green,life,me
Bloodstained Leaves of Autumn Rhymeautumn,imagery,seasons,sp
Summer Rain Ottava rimabereavement,goodbye,soulm
POETS Versepoets,
HAMMOCK OF DUST Dramatic Versebereavement,lost love,
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Seeking Serenity Rhymebeautiful,dream,peace,
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haiku Haikuappreciation,world,
Abandon Sonnetlife,
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