Vanity Thy Name Is Metro-Man

Oh Vanity Thy Name is Metro-Man At the gym, admiring his bulging biceps in a giant mirror, he reaches for his ever-ready smart phone and stops to make a boastful tweet. Driving home, sipping his protein drink, he involuntarily sneers noticing construction workers on a roof, their strong bronzed arms glistening in the sun. He makes a mental note to stop off at the tanning booth tomorrow. At the salon, and after his daily massage, he lies back for his manscape. Oh, how it hurts, he inwardly groans, but as he contemplates how the hotties at the pool will love his baby smooth skin, a smile lifts the corners of his mouth. At his sterile home with its many beautiful toys meant to entertain the largest and oldest of grown-up boys, he goes to his social media account eager to relate how just today he broke his personal best bench press record Before bed, he brushes and carefully flosses and then applies his special lotions. Looking down at his manhood, he smiles again until the thought of pushing papers at the office flits through his mind: Oh the drudgery that I must endure to afford my awesome life! July 10, 2017 for the Modern Vanity Contest of Lewis Raynes