You Are Not Meditating

You are not meditating
You’re not reading 
the classics. 
not practicing 
barre cords on the guitar,
not brushing up
on your French.

You’re just hanging on, 
for dear life
by your fingernails.
You’re trying.

Trying 
not to eat too much chocolate,
not to snap at your kids,
not to drink too much,
not to cry when you think of
what you’re missing,
or whom.

You are doing
the best you can.
You shower. You work.
You cook, you eat.
You sleep, badly,
and get up in the morning
and do it all over again.

Sometimes, you walk outside
and are astonished
that it is spring.
Sometimes, you breathe 
a little deeper
and imagine a life
after this ends.
Sometimes you stop
beating yourself up
for not doing quarantine
the right way.

Published in Thought for Food, 2020
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Mcgee Avatar
May 20, 2020 at 9:48 AM
such poignancy in this time...well written and a big congratulations on your top placement.
Inman Avatar
May 19, 2020 at 10:20 PM
Beautifully said Agnes.
Manassian Avatar
May 19, 2020 at 3:13 AM
This is an absolutely brilliant piece, Agnes. I wish more would read it! Yes, I felt every sentiment you portrayed here. Sometimes...I'm just hanging on...forget doing this quarantine thing right! There is no right. Great piece.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
May 18, 2020 at 2:55 PM
This feels like a time-out hug for someone, yourself or otherwise, an "it's ok". xomo
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