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Dry Mascara

DRY MASCARA

Nobody sees through the shadow and the color of my eyes
The times I've cried are the only time you notice the trace down my face
This time,  
The sorrow at heart is deeper than anything I've ever penned or spoke of,
  an atmosphere of dark film and Revlon
Many times I allowed myself to die, only to return to the living 
The numbness of my soul, delivers weight nobody can lift

Talk of black eyes,   the tale of my life reopens every scar
On good days, the sun seems to stray from where I lay,
    Only to reveal the paste that drowns my face
At times I blank out the pain, 
  the depression compiles the close quarters of my room
Even then, I can't escape every past wound I covered up
Hiding was never the problem, the healing process was

Institutionalized, no longer able to function as a whole 
Each cell inside replicates a tight thick wall with no escape 
The laughter of nothing sinks into a gulf of tears
With moods more melancholy than most  
I press the pain that echoes hard within my head  
- I weep
Deep sadness flows with no mercy,     no reason
  Nothing to cancel out the voices that hush my inner being
In a whisper I ask for  H E L P, 
- I bleed
Nobody sees me, nobody hears me,   NOBODY.....
The  mascara ruins another fake mask

Grief is somber,   
  a constant reminder to my soul that it can't hide forever
Silence   -   callous
Until I can't feel anything....
Empty     -   detached
I felt myself become numb 
Emotions gone 
I   laughed   at   the   end.

Copyright © Poet Destroyer A | Year Posted 2020

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Date: 10/21/2021 9:20:00 AM

I liked esp the 'mascara ruins and gulf of tears' lines but the whole poem is poignancy expressed so eloquently wow! Cheer up and take care. Kudos! >>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<~~~~~`¶§ Plz do read and comment my newest poem too
Date: 9/15/2021 8:34:00 PM

Wow!!!!!! Extremely powerful and compelling imagery. This was a great first poem for me to read since I'very been away from this site for the past few years. Definitely inspires the writer in me and I hope if this is your authentic real story you're inspired as well. Well done!
Date: 8/8/2021 5:15:00 PM

This distance you put between yourself and the past is remarkable. I loved this Ray of sunshine may it caress your hurt heart everytime..
Date: 7/11/2021 11:37:00 AM

Oh I missed your words.. Linda.. ~xoxo
Date: 7/11/2021 7:26:00 AM

Emotive and expressive work. I wonder is it about you or someone in your family or someone close that you know? Sara
Date: 6/30/2021 9:48:00 PM

Wonderful.
Date: 5/24/2021 3:00:00 PM

Hi PD, here I am again, and I think well it really Can be that bad, but also things improve..' And I appreciated the laughter bit, I really Need It if thus is just the prelude to the serious stuff! But no 'do you find the hardest thing is Allowing yourself to be happy? As that you Are closing a chapter that you did not want Opened first off' and if there were some who Made errors they were not aware of? its hard To turn your back on them but there is no way back to reason with them, hard sfuff'
Date: 5/21/2021 8:59:00 PM

You are right about hiding. Tears and sorrow are something we all experience but may never know why it is so. You were one of first 2 comment on my work in 2016. Hope you will post some more this year 2021. Regards David in NZ
Date: 3/21/2021 7:00:00 PM

APD, All precious days have a beginning and an end. All precious in their rarity, and the love they choose to send. I hope that you feel the love too. -Richard
Date: 3/20/2021 2:34:00 PM

Yours is... The Pen of Pens! May I borrow some of your ink?
Date: 3/17/2021 1:41:00 AM

Ha ha ha...so funny yet so emotional...great writing skills. At least am back Linda and would love to hear from you.
Date: 2/25/2021 2:10:00 PM

Your pen is no less potent then when last you posted. A difficult topic but you captured the essence with this piece. I hope it is not a current experience. Hugs Rick.
Date: 1/29/2021 4:08:00 AM

Very emotive and expressive work. I hope just a work and not your real life. Sara
Date: 1/28/2021 11:01:00 PM

I see you. Your pain is not lost on me. Missed reading your stuff.
Date: 1/9/2021 11:50:00 AM

Stoping by to read your poem again hope you well xx davidscott
Date: 12/24/2020 8:12:00 PM

Thanks for sharing this. Meanwhile... Cheering you with blest Christmas spirit, while sharing you "... the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 6:23 of the King James Bible). God bless you.
Date: 12/17/2020 8:52:00 AM

Deep, emotional magic springs from your pen and your mind. An exceptional write.
Date: 12/17/2020 12:03:00 AM

Brave of you to write this and nice imagery.
Date: 12/16/2020 10:08:00 PM

Exlent peace well pened l deal with depression on daily bassis have done since l was bout five not easy writing some kind of vice at times though r you back now not been here for long time my self hope you well davidscottxx
Date: 12/16/2020 4:00:00 PM

A very deep, emotional poem. Depression is like a thief that would steal your joy, your well-being. All you see is darkness and it numbs your senses. How I wish nobody goes through it because it is a very difficult illness to overcome.
Date: 12/14/2020 12:12:00 AM

BEAUTIFULLY PRESENTED.....
Date: 12/4/2020 7:50:00 PM

Nicely penned confessional write.. Very passionate! :)
Date: 12/2/2020 1:46:00 PM

Enjoyed reading this powerful write. Great job as always PD and congrats On the POTD. Have a great one my friend, Jess
Date: 11/29/2020 12:17:00 AM

Always the great poet even in the darkness of your present. I miss you!
Date: 11/25/2020 5:23:00 AM

Stunning portrait of elegant sadness, PD! Lucid words of introspection, a lustrous weave of intense passion. Ty for your blessed muse return. Your quill voice has never sounded calligraphy better. Stillness is always a good move. And this bombshell poem moves w/emotional ticking re-calibration. Stay safe. Love and best wishes for the holiday.
Date: 11/17/2020 4:33:00 AM

Very well expressed and heartfelt. well done.
Date: 11/11/2020 5:40:00 PM

an exciting, scathing and consuming piece . words does a lot and these are compose in a very powerful way. well done.
Date: 10/23/2020 10:56:00 AM

This is powerful, expressive and emotional, Linda. Despite everything, depression can not only be treated, but also beaten...but that depends mostly on us! ~ A pleasure to see you posting again :) Warm regards // paul
Date: 10/23/2020 9:36:00 AM

Your writing has a gravitas like few others, Linda. Belated congratulations on your POTD honors for this, it's nice to see you posting and sponsoring contests again. ~ John
Date: 10/22/2020 2:28:00 PM

Hi PD, You have penned such a deep and heartfelt emotive write.Depression is no joke, a person that hasn’t gone through it may not understand. They may say,get out of your funk, inside I respond, I’m trying to but not it’s not that easy. After a rain storm( whatever it may be) a rainbow is on the horizon. Congratulations on getting the poem the day. It was well deserved! PS. It’s good to see you PD. Have a wonderful day-Alexis
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