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The Crown Polished - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

About Debbie Guzzi
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Deborah Guzzi writes fulltime. When not writing she’s reading. She travels for inspiration. Her new book The Hurricane is available now through Prolific Press. Her poetry appears in: Existere - Journal of Arts and Literature in Canada, Tincture in Australia, Cha: Asian Literary Review, Hong Kong, China, Eunoia in Singapore, Vine Leaves Literary Journal in Greece, and Ribbons: Tanka Society of America’s Journal, Sounding Review, Kyso Flash, The Aurorean, Crack the Spine Literary Magazine, Liquid Imagination, Concis, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine and others in the USA. 

The Crown Polished

Blog Posted:2/6/2014 6:24:00 PM

Crown Sonnet

Stone in the Cold

by Smith, Henderson, Goff, Zerbst, Jerden, Richards,  

and all the fine poets who helped make it shine.


Through the north woods I come, my bow in hand,

a man of shadowed stealth who can be bold.

My eyes hunt, take a reckon of the land,

look into the hollows, constant and cold.

My companion's solitude, still as stone.

of winds I am the seeker, and of scent.

By yonder trees, I linger not alone,

my aim is true; my purpose is unbent.

Yet, death does not bring a smile to my lips,

nor a lift unto this wayfaring heart;

in grief I am fed, from silence I sip,

and from the old wood, I shall never part.

Caleb am I, a hunter true, and I pursue

A life that even death cannot undo.


A life that even death cannot undo,

for there are portals I've yet to find,

hidden life in the green, I wish to pursue,

oh, the secrets of life and death entwine.

I search and search, I will not know defeat;

each corner turned will show new paths to tread.

The deer, the bear, the fox, each beast I meet

will reveal their secret life's in their death.

So, let the woodland speak hear its reveal

riddle the meaning left, see it understood

the less armor worn or brandished we wield

the higher truth we gain in form of good

Into the woods I plunge as in my youth

I face the final test of nature’s truth.


I face the final test of nature’s truth.

the night's coming fast, I travel unheard.

The reverence I feel, was born in youth,

tempered by sage, burnt offerings for birds.

Tormented by brambles whose thorns I collect

I come to remains of struggles long gone,

feathers and crushed bone, on these I reflect.

I'm hoping once more, my arms are still strong.

A pine marten scurries, close to my step,

the sweet scent of birch gum, his claws unearth.

My arrow's still sheathed, for creeks I have leapt.

though I grow cold, my spirit is re-birthed.

Tracks at the creek, the water I savor

the thicket moves, my aim must not waver.


The thicket moves, my aim must not waver;

with strengthened arms, I bend my bow of yew:

my eyes pierce the brush, intent to savor

the sights of a good hunt, an arrow true.

The bracken parts, with rattling empty sighs.

My draw fingers quake from the constant chill.

My quarry's breath floats to the clouded sky;

my own breath's muffled as I track my kill.

Overhead, an arrow in deadly arc

speeds toward the bear I'm seeking, still as stone;

a shadow moves, the arrow strikes its mark.

The hand that looses the shaft is not my own.

I am a man shadowed; death comes knocking:

The hunter hunted, the past comes stalking.


The hunter hunted, the past comes stalking,

as three men in the high grasses arise.

Sworn enemies all, my skill they're mocking.

They wounded the bear; now they want the prize.

I load, I aim, I pull, my arrow flies;

one enemy down, the others advance.

I round the bear and turn toward their eyes

my buck knife out, I fight on in a trance.

My senses heightened, I exult in pain.

So crisp each forest leaf and grassy blade.

So fresh the air, and wet each drop of rain.

Three are down and the bear lies in the glade.

A deathly still descends upon these lands.

Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.


Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.

With a surge of strength, I turn unstayed by fear,

a welling force inside to take command.

A grim rivalry, but respect we share,

yet, uncontrolled the bear imperious roars.

With enraged might, he swings his bloody head.

His pain in a thundering bellow soars.

Off into the dense forest, he has fled.

I slip haphazard through death's devious plan,

and kneel in the damp crimson covered ground.

My survival hard-won by these two hands.

I rise to face night as darkness surrounds.

The wild's full of creatures, stealthy and bold

I must build a shelter, to fight the cold.

#7 with the plot more completed

I must build a shelter, to fight the cold.
Still, out, are the poachers who brought the fight.
In the distance smoke, a joy to behold,
a cabin with a blaze, warmth for the night.
Wolves howl on the wind, I think of the men
hoping they've all risen and left now,
but glad to have gotten away from them.
I lope toward the lit window aglow.
A door opens and I welcomed right in
my son had been searching for me, I'm told.
The heat of the fire, dry clothes from kin
an earnest call to the forest patrol.
With mornings light I report in as planned
Through the north woods I come, my bow in hand.

Since not every one is satisfied with the two choices we have, the verse I wrote will be used as #7 BUT NOT given a 1 just an HM [no credit]
Sara & Dane will get 2's as alternates. 




Since there are 35 slots anyone who wants to write a sonnet about hunting anything can enter a verse which isn't meant to be connected to the seven above.

Please Login to post a comment
Date: 2/10/2014 2:43:00 PM
Dee hates the use of the word yonder in my verse 7 let's think of how to change that line!! ;) I don't mind. - Does anyone else use that word but me?
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Hunter Avatar
Painted Hunter
Date: 2/11/2014 12:15:00 PM
I use it
Date: 2/10/2014 12:23:00 PM
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Date: 2/10/2014 7:13:00 AM
I forgot to say thanks for reading and considering my work for your contest..Glad that you got it finished and laid to rest..Sara
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Date: 2/9/2014 5:03:00 PM
I build a warm blaze upon the bare earth. Then, cook up some vittles: vermin and fern. A rugged fortress lest poachers return – My bloody blazer, now, filthy fivefold! I am shivering cold; the fire won’t burn. I stealthily creep seeking higher ground. With every fear a worn mind can churn, I crawl beneath some trees; more wood is found. Two bundles, brushwood: birch twigs, logs, to burn. While feeding my hunger, I loosen my girth. Then, see a mineshaft; my hope starts to yearn. Distantly hidden, completely unmanned. Through the north woods I come, my bow in hand.
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Date: 2/9/2014 4:59:00 PM
Not naked! You got me, Debbie! I DO NOT GET JOKES! lol I did rewrite sonnet 7 I couldn't leave it with the frozen naked hunter. Here is a new one. Is this the correct rhyme scheme. ababcdcdefefgg. Enjoy. I'll post my new one below and in your contest. Well, I tried...twice! **************************
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Smith-Johnsen Avatar
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 2/9/2014 5:01:00 PM
I must build a shelter, to fight off the cold. A rugged fortress lest poachers return – My bloody blazer, now, filthy fivefold! I am shivering cold; the fire won’t burn. I stealthily creep seeking higher ground. With every fear a worn mind can churn, I crawl beneath some trees; more wood is found. Two bundles, brushwood: birch twigs, logs, to burn.
Date: 2/9/2014 10:04:00 AM
Sonnet 4: omit commas on l. 2, 5; l. 8 "breath" or "breaths"; l. 12 change "looses" to "loosed", line is 11 syllables. Sonnet 5: end of l. 5, 6, 7, 9, need punctuated. Sonnet 6: l. 2, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 13 need punctuated; l. 2 comma after "turn"; l. 5 comma after "uncontrolled"; l. 14 omit comma. Sonnet 7: l. 3, 5, 9, 11, 13 need punctuated; l. 3 comma after "rises"; l. 8 perhaps a comma after "window". This crown is looking awesome; a few technicalities worked through and she'll be a beauty!
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Date: 2/9/2014 9:47:00 AM
I agree, Isaiah....(pertaining to 3)
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Goff Avatar
James Marshall Goff
Date: 2/10/2014 7:14:00 AM
Goff Avatar
James Marshall Goff
Date: 2/9/2014 12:16:00 PM
My droid won't let me scroll all my poems to choose my sonnet....TPS tells me to scroll down the right side...but there is nothing there...I will try on apple at work tomorrow...
Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 2/9/2014 11:00:00 AM
Please post your verse in the contest as requested now.
Date: 2/9/2014 9:34:00 AM
Sorry I couldn't be around for much of the voting. I have been having problems with the website, and also with my internet connection due to snow and cloudy weather. Here is a few suggestions for polishing. Sonnet 2: maybe "lives" in l. 8 and a "." in l.12. Sonnet 3: omit commas on l. 8, 9, 10.
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Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 2/9/2014 10:59:00 AM
I took another pass at it Isaiah, I'm tired of playing with it we can not use it in its entirety for anything so no worries. PLEASE post your verse as requested in the contest now.
Date: 2/8/2014 1:29:00 PM
lOOKS LIKE i SWITCHED TO MANY LINES AROUND AT THE LAST MINUTE...SORRY. I wanted to participate, but Had way to much going on with the newer car that I purchased, a 2010HHR needing a new motor one week after buying it and the IWS, the maintenance warranty company backing out of their contract...ie refusing to fix it...claiming it was pre-existing, but it drove without noise, etc when I bought it. Meanwhile, I had to price motors, compare installation prices and all of that. I still don't have a car to drive. Thank God for the old farm truck. Sorry I let you down.
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Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 2/8/2014 1:42:00 PM
Dane you still get a second place win for trying and I really appreciate it with all you have going on!
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 2/8/2014 1:34:00 PM
PSS For future reference, What was the end rhyme pattern for this. I did notice that it did NOT fit the regular sonnet pattern...I was trying to follow others posted here. Did you enter my verse in some contest?
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 2/8/2014 1:30:00 PM
PS I did NOT realize this was for a contest. I thought it was for fun! Or for some magazine you were going to send it to. OOPS!
Date: 2/8/2014 9:22:00 AM
Ok by me. Lets use yours. Joyce
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Date: 2/8/2014 2:34:00 AM
The last line of both 7's do not match Caleb's last line....
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Date: 2/8/2014 12:24:00 AM
I am worried about the three men laying there maybe bleeding to death. They may be poachers but they could have been hungry and needed game. I don't see how we can just leave them laying there while we're getting warm ourselves and say it is finished. None of the verses finish the story Joyce.
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Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 2/8/2014 6:45:00 AM
mine did Joyce
Date: 2/7/2014 9:59:00 PM
Well I don't think it has completed the story. That is why I was trying to get some action into verse 6 in order for the story to come to a satisfactory ending. Sara did a great job. Joyce
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Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 2/7/2014 10:04:00 PM
you don't thing whose verse 7 hasn't completed the story, Joyce
Date: 2/7/2014 8:25:00 PM
I like yours too...
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Date: 2/7/2014 6:03:00 PM
Bet, an idea, simply include yours as an entry to the contest.. you said something about everyone being able to read alternate story lines? Just give yourself a HM and tada... everyone can read yours as well.Ah, re-read your comment. We're on the same page...lol.. finally. Do something special for yourself this weekend... bookstore? or savor a cappuccino somewhere.. sprinkles and all. Or simply cuddle smoky, write something just for you, light some candles. Love ya.
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Date: 2/7/2014 1:18:00 PM
HERE IS MINE, DEBBIE. I must build a shelter, to fight off the cold. Will naked exposure bring death around? No! Fearless courage fights off ill fate’s hold. My naked body screaming without sound – Alertly I creep seeking some safe ground. With every fear a worn mind can churn, I crawl beneath some trees where wood is found. Two bundles, brushwood: birch twigs, logs, to burn. I build a warm blaze upon the bare ground. Then, cook up some vittles: vermin and fern. While feeding my hunger, I look all around. I see a mineshaft; it’s good fortune’s turn! Refreshed and full with courage, by strength fanned, Through the north woods I come, my bow in hand.
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Date: 2/7/2014 12:02:00 PM
In sonnet 6, I think there might be a typo. Surge OF strength rather than Surge I strength? Also death's devious plan instead of deaths devious plan?
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Date: 2/7/2014 11:42:00 AM
Okies GOT Dane Ann ..she's on it! IS that OK now Caleb?
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Smith-Johnsen Avatar
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 2/7/2014 1:16:00 PM
Do I post it here, Deb?
Hunter Avatar
Painted Hunter
Date: 2/7/2014 12:19:00 PM
Date: 2/7/2014 11:08:00 AM
No prob Caleb we still have to look at Dane Ann's I tried reaching her in soup mail & email & Facebook, no answer so far.
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Date: 2/7/2014 11:00:00 AM
It's all come together nicely, I think. One problem, though....you gotta take out the part about the trail mix...please...I like the sonnet, but the trail mix has GOT to go...I do bring a little homeade deer jerky sometimes...never that nasty excuse for jerky they sell at stores..haha..but never, under any circumstance, will you find me with a bag of trail mix...;)....EVER
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Jack Lyricintrospectionlife,
The Ghost That Travels Far Personificationnature
Kite Flying - Test Free verseallegory,art,imagination,
Dining with Crow Rhymeanimals
Beauty, yes Sijohope,imagination,philosop
Smart and Final Prose Prose Poetrypeoplepeople,red,city,peo
Tiger in the Sea Rispettoadventure,animals,seame,t
A Song of Michael's Rose Narrativeme,
Where my True Love Lives - A Ballade Balladedeath,love,ocean,
Into Morning Free verselife
Play Me A Teardrop Rhymelost loveme,me,

Fav Poets

Carolyn Devonshire United States Flag United States Read
Carrie Richards United States Flag United States Read
Deirdre Omaidin Ireland Flag Ireland Read
Andrew Crisci United States Flag United States Read
Jim Fish United States Flag United States Read
Nigel Fawcett Italy Flag Italy Read
L'nass Shango United States Flag United States Read
Andrea Dietrich United States Flag United States Read
Robert L. Hinshaw United States Flag United States Read
Chris D. Aechtner Canada Flag Canada Read
nette onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Sidney Beck Russian Federation Flag Russian Federation Read
Sami Al-khalili Canada Flag Canada Read
Charlotte Jade Puddifoot United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Cyndi MacMillan Canada Flag Canada Read
T Wignesan France Flag France Read
Elaine George Canada Flag Canada Read
sharon Winter United States Flag United States Read
Michael Smith United States Flag United States Read
jack horne United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Paul Callus Malta Flag Malta Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Joann Grisetti United States Flag United States Read
Ravindra K Kapoor India Flag India Read
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Philippines Flag Philippines Read
kathryn collins United States Flag United States Read
Teppo Gren Finland Flag Finland Read
Michael Jordan United States Flag United States Read