Notes About The Poem

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Less Than Perfect

I came from a land of redneck drinkers, who mounted deer heads on walls without sheetrock. It was a simpler time. You shot or hooked what you ate. A wood stove heated the whole house. It ran on bottled propane when wood was scarce. I can still smell the blackening butter and hear the purple-red deer meat sizzling in Gram’s cast-iron fry pan on that day. I can see the knife gash in the imprint of flowers on the homemade butter. Its beauty marred to lather the pan as mine had been. Each day since then, as I knelt on the chair staring past the potted violets toward the house next door, I'd shiver. 

whispers
breach the bedroom walls:
chain-locked door

I came from a land where, through a picture perfect window, a little girl could see rows of candy-colored gladiola’s growing beside the home of the neighbor boys. The boys whose Father liked to flash his private parts to little girls. No, this was not the end of the yellow brick road, but the land of bullies, beer, and ******** pedophiles, far from picture perfect.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Nicholsen Avatar
April 7, 2024 at 7:44 PM
Powerful write .
Maverick Avatar
December 30, 2022 at 12:38 PM
Ah ah..You have experienced the beauty and Stupidity, the evil lunacy..And the contrived Description probably stiched together in the So called 'halls of better education' that can't Help but expose their inadequacies in lewd acts As they laud sophistcation and other qualitys So alien to their sick personalitys.'
Kendrick Avatar
November 27, 2021 at 2:37 AM
I am still having a hard time trying to figure out exactly what happened but any part of this should never have happened. Some men are pure evil and add in the mix of alcohol and other chemicals the evil becomes active and goes on a rampage. I enjoyed reading this one. Sara
George   Avatar
September 15, 2020 at 5:03 AM
Awesome...a powerful write and only you can, Debbie. ~ Elaine
Ika Avatar
February 2, 2019 at 5:03 PM
Sad. Touched. How deep. The descriptions so vivid, so real. The words cut to the heart. O for a child to unknow, to un-see... If there were an eraser for that. What pain you express. Reminded of an encounter a friend went through. What courage to even want to live after such an event
Guzzi Avatar
February 5, 2019 at 7:21 PM
I was only five so I really didn't understand why all the adults wanted to go "get" him - no one explained why they were so mad - I totally got the wrong message
Duet Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 1:15 PM
What an outstanding account of something only some of us (too many) have had the misfortune of experiencing. Well written.
Anish Avatar
August 25, 2018 at 5:56 PM
You tell a sad- all too true story here. Peace & Blessings Matthew Anish
Rodrigues Avatar
April 30, 2018 at 1:02 PM
Wow! Like a minute novel! The contrast striking and sad.
Guzzi Avatar
April 30, 2018 at 1:08 PM
It's a true story Kim & a good example of how a haibun can be used as narrative non-fiction.
One Avatar
February 22, 2018 at 2:02 PM
You have very good imagery in this haibun and it is great prose writing.. I like the subtle alliteration and assonance in this... You are indeed a talented writer and.. This is very sad, evil is everywhere, even in sacred places...
Wigley Avatar
January 25, 2018 at 1:34 AM
Harsh, uncompromising, but I do love your descriptive powers and sense of place. A fine write, and hopefully cathartic. Viv x
Lamoureux Avatar
January 12, 2018 at 5:27 PM
It is very good Debbie. I did have that familiar feeling. How has the response to you book been? Also although belated, I hope you have an amazing year. Hugs Rick.
Kendrick Avatar
January 10, 2018 at 1:12 PM
Sad but true today in a country where people should be civilized enough to treat each other better. Enjoyed reading your work..Thanks for dropping by my page..Sara
A   Avatar
January 9, 2018 at 12:24 PM
Hello Debbie, WOW, a very sad place, one can almost relate too, especially those who survived tainted walls. The end was very striking a very uncomfortable picture. I don't think I could find a perfect picture, if I took on a write like this. A special A for your writing. Enjoyed reading your poem today. ~LINDA~
Lamoureux Avatar
January 6, 2018 at 2:47 PM
Very impactful and sad. Is this one from your book? It gave me that Dejavu feeling.
Guzzi Avatar
January 6, 2018 at 3:45 PM
It's a rewriting of one that I believe you have read. The original was published but this one is more condensed the focus is where it should be now & not just description for ambiance
Dietrich Avatar
January 4, 2018 at 1:37 AM
wow, Debs, I LOVE this. Too bad you could not put it into your own contest. By the way, I appreciate my win. Thanks so much, and thanks for writes like THIS.
Warlov Avatar
January 3, 2018 at 2:37 PM
such simple beauty wrecked by such unspeakable evil! My deepest sympathy. --- The economic clarity and description imparts a powerful sense of unique tone and meter.
Canerdy Avatar
January 2, 2018 at 8:31 PM
Heart-wrenching, well-written, Debbie. Janice
Rodrigues Avatar
January 2, 2018 at 5:03 PM
Not a pretty picture! Aptly said!
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