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realisation of self (War Child)

it's all for you
mental anguish
imagined heartache
the worthlessness of me

I'm not
another realisation of self

first to know
last to be told
in denial
always shoulder your burdens
everyone is someone
this realisation of myself
i don't belong

i know nothing
its what i am to you
of how important you are
i probably would have never known
if i didnt have you to compare to

realisation of self
an old grudge
outcasts me
who does that make happy?
nothing to you
nothing to myself
wanting to forgive you for this
but i won't

i realise it now
a curse like a bat out of hell
the truth being i've been blackmailed
by myself
no point in denying it at all
i have nothing to give
but myself

the emptiness i am
shines throughout
and you eventually suffer
a realisation of self

the emotion named after me
underdog trying to keep miserable happy
no other choice but celabacy
love hates me too much to forgive me for her martyrdom
surrounded by her happiness im left without
a lifelong grudge for a realisation of self

i like me anyway
the joke to your punchline
i'm the funny part
when the last thing i want to do is make you smile
Won't ever know the difference anyway
the unkillable monster
the realisation of self

A nobody
no one even knows me
i'm a nobody
couldn't even make a friend
no one knows me
guess thats something
amongst so many painful memories
i suffer 
learning to let you go
why bother pretending
yesterday happened
just move on to a new day
something i keep doing wrong
no selfish realisation
no one seems to understand

Child of war
victom to sick games
the boy you loved under rug swept
criminal minds should know me
better than anybody else
no path of least resistance
to shelter peers from becoming just like me
realisation of self
i am a child of war
forever young it seems
never did agree
how do you know me
when i dont know anybody
dont even know myself anymore
surviving realisations of self
without your help
i am the one who got away
i am the one coming for you
know more about the clues you leave behind
leading me wrong

logicaly it points to one guilty looking suspect
and you sidestep the whole charade
everyone oblivious to the game being played
the candle burning at both ends
blackmailed by irony
just a goose chase
looking guilty
from my shadow fiending for release
showing you your own routine
realisation of self

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

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Date: 2/8/2011 3:14:00 PM
Please enter this in my free verse contest! Light & Love
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Date: 6/16/2010 2:54:00 PM
A profound write with so many good lines it's hard to pick fav's but I'd say "love hates me too much to forgive me for her martyrdom" is my favoprite and that verse. I'm fav'ing the verse thank you for letting us in..........Light & Love
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Date: 5/14/2010 5:23:00 PM
A fine pen picture
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