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Oh The Roses in MY Cheeks - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

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Deborah Guzzi writes full time. Her third book, The Hurricane is available through Prolific Press. https://prolificpress.com/bookstore/prolific-books-c-12/the-hurricane-by-deborah-guzzi-p-151.html Her poetry appears in Allegro, Artificium, Shooter, & The Foxglove Journal in the UK, Subterranean Blue, Existere, The Ekphrastic Review, Scarlet Leaf Review & Subterranean Blue Poetry, Canada - Tincture, Australia - mgv2>publishing, France Cha: Asian Review, China - Vine Leaves Literary Journal, Australia - The Scarlet Leaf Review - Greece, Ribbons, pioneertown, Sounding Review, Bacopa Literary Review, The Aurorean, Liquid Imagination, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine & others in the USA. 


Oh The Roses in MY Cheeks

Blog Posted:6/14/2013 3:41:00 PM

Just dropping by to let you know what we poets have to deal with in the RW [real world] below is a magazine editor actually attempting to help! GAH! Do you know how many of my writes fall into this category shall I kill myself now?

Poetry Clichés to Avoid

* A wall separates us from others.
* Life is like a tree, the seasons cycle around.
* You miss a loved person and want to see them again.
* You are growing and changing and have to accept the alterations.
* Life is difficult but you can persevere.
* A person is a lump of clay to be molded by someone else.

          These are all wonderful thoughts, but remember that we have already read them
          many, many, many times. After the first 300 times or so, they can feel a bit stale.

If your poem is very basic - "I miss him. He has been gone for so long. When can I see him again?" then it is the same as hundreds of other poems. Your poem will not stand out.

Make sure your poem is unique to you and your situation. Are you pining away in the dusty basement, gazing through a grime-smeared window? Are you sadly desolate on a sunny hilltop, sitting beneath the apple tree where you shared your last picnic? Are you morosely walking down a flight of concrete stairs into the depths of a subway platform, turning your head to avoid the stench of pee from the wooden bench? It is all of those specific details that help the reader really connect to YOUR experience, to learn why your heartbreak or joy or resolution is individual and visceral.

Think about the details. Yes, hair can "blow" in the wind. That is a generic, non-specific image. Hair can more explicitly curl delicately in a breeze, whip like a flag in a gale, stream gently behind you, rise playfully in a gust. Paint a visual image for your reader, let them know exactly what you mean.

Here are some clichés which are best to avoid.



Building a Wall

One of the most common poems we see involves a sad person and "a wall" which blocks out family, friends, and society. The wall was built to protect the person - but over time they realize that the wall has held them in as well. They want to tear down the wall, but they are nervous about it, or unable to do it, or run into other problems.

To see just how cliché the wall image is, get yourself the double album of "The Wall" by Pink Floyd, and rent the movie! Not only did they do two full length albums on this topic, but they even made a full length movie going
into this topic. There are thousands and thousands of poems by innumerable poets on the topic of walls. This is one of the most common themes in poetry. If you are going to make your "wall" poem stand out, it absolutely
must be unique, with great visual details and with a very unique point of view. If not, it will be no different than the myriad of other wall poems which have already been read.


Life is a Cycle of Nature

Especially in the fall and winter, we are inundated with poems about "Life is like nature. In the spring, the little seedlings grow. In the summer, we enjoy the food! In the fall, the crunchy leaves hit us on the head. In the
winter, everything is cold and nasty."

Fall seems to bring these poems out in force. We always get an avalanche of poems in fall about how fall represents a cycle of nature. It becomes quite mind numbing.

Yes, the theme is cute the first ten or twenty times - but by the time you've read this the 1,000th time it gets to be a bit overwhelming. Yes, we know life is like nature. Yes, we know that old age is like winter. Please find another
metaphor to express your thoughts on how life progresses.


Longing for Someone who is Gone

Maybe the nature of poetry is that the desire to write poetry strikes when you are miserable and alone. Maybe that is why so many poets write angst-filled poem after poem pining after the boy or girl who is no longer in their life.
These poems tend to run along the same course. "Before, things were great. We walked hand in hand in sunny meadows. Two hearts were never so in tune! Now, I hear your voice on the wind. The meadow is barren. The flowers have stopped flowering. The butterflies have stopped butterflying. I am alone...

Yes, we have all been there. We all know the angst of losing a loved one. You need to tell us YOUR version of what happened. Instead of generic, seen-a-thousand-times images of "happy hand in hand in meadows", tell
us YOUR specific images. Did you used to have cappuccino in a red-brick café by a cobblestone fountain? When you go by the café now, do you see the menu lying at your favorite cast-iron table? What visions are important to YOU? We want to be drawn into your world.

If you take a serious look at your own poetry posted here on Soup, have you written as many of these cliché topics as I have??



Please Login to post a comment
Date: 6/15/2013 5:21:00 PM
Hey, Debbie... I think it all depends on who the poet is writing for :D Same goes for writing (as you know I split my writing between the real world and the kinder one ;) ) Now, if (for say) a mom/dad is writing for their family (and also sharing these poems with soup) then I think the cliché is A-Okay. Maybe, they will speak of the old oak planted at the family farm, the graveyard beside it, how that tree means life and death... now, won't turn on an editor, but the granddaughter after her grandpa's death? Ah, then... that poem will be a beloved inheritance... cherished and honoured. So, I think all is good, and I'm proud of you for pushing ahead! But don't be pink-cheeked... all is good!
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Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 6/15/2013 5:24:00 PM
Nette is one of the best poets of today, off and on soup. Her style is strong, her voice WHOLLY hers and her mastery of language stuns the reader with a completely new look at what may be a familiar situation or location... she could teach this! How to avoid the common... :D
Date: 6/15/2013 5:59:00 AM
Chris so nice to here from you, and thanks for the boot in my butt as you see I am submitting less here and saving more for the publishers who don't accept reprints, even after I whined to you in soup mail YOUR advice did help!
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Date: 6/15/2013 5:57:00 AM
Well, I think I got my first paying publication 3 verses in an anthology pay $12 & 2 copies, [I got a contract!!] LOL
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Date: 6/14/2013 7:40:00 PM
Bravo, Chris! I like your honesty. Honest, but not brutal. You are among the few. (No, I'm not kissing you up, pal. And I'm not a masochist, either.)
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Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 6/15/2013 5:27:00 PM
Bet, looking forward to the next "daily." I writing for your contest, come Monday, I hope and then back to my crown, the poor thing is withering on a shelf... Hugs!!!
Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 6/15/2013 5:54:00 AM
just join my group & we will edit your verses and give you actual line by line critiques when needed aleezadelta@aol.com
Date: 6/14/2013 7:05:00 PM
Actually, this is exactly the kind of professional feedback that can be helpful, if you're mature enough (I don't doubt that you are, Debbie, just making a point.) I feel that we have to walk on eggs here on PS way too much. The least little misunderstanding gets blown way out of proportion. Theodore Sturgeon said 90% of everything is crap, anyway. We have so few clues to know what is really good, despite contests and comments. I know what people think is really bad, because it doesn't get any comments. Can't seem to get a real critique. Maybe trying to publish????
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Date: 6/14/2013 5:58:00 PM
Hello my sweeties... ;) so nice to hear from all 3 of YOU, Frank how was your painting trip? Ruben where hades have you been, little one..how is your wee one? I wonder how many contest winners are in these categories aye?
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Chircop Avatar
Charmaine Chircop
Date: 6/15/2013 5:51:00 AM
Hi my little one is nine months old now Deborah.. She s trying to do her first steps..Such a nice time in life and She s growing so fast.Have a lovely weekend sweet lady-big hugs
Date: 6/14/2013 4:53:00 PM
Thanks for posting this interesting blog Deborah..and yep I'm guilty too :)
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Chircop Avatar
Charmaine Chircop
Date: 6/15/2013 12:59:00 PM
The song is amazing stunning wonderful.i ve been there :p

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10/2/2018 Pipe Dreams Free verseanalogy,symbolism,travel,
2/5/2018 In Flagrante Delicto Free verselove,
1/2/2018 Less Than Perfect Haibunintrospection,
7/30/2017 War and Peace Free verseage,betrayal,truth,
7/27/2017 Mein Kampf My Struggle Haibunanxiety,racism,,atheist,
7/24/2017 Displaced In Kathmandu Haibunanxiety,fear,war,,western
6/8/2017 Haiku 1a Haikulife,
4/24/2017 Swingin On a Star Free verseallusion,art,beauty,
4/9/2017 A Lost Kind Returns Sonnetfreedom,heartbroken,loss,
3/28/2017 Behind the Architects Crystal Lens Verseart,travel,
3/3/2017 Shadow Puppets Sonnethumor,
2/14/2017 Daughter of Oak and Ash Pantoumcaregiving,love,racism,
1/26/2017 The Moons Yellow Eyes Haibunevil,farewell,
1/10/2017 High Noon At Karnak Free versehistory,
9/21/2016 Cairns Edge Lyricage,autumn,ocean,
9/10/2016 Prickly Heat Haibunlost love,
7/19/2016 Repeter Depuis Le Debut Free verseart,marriage,
7/19/2016 It Is a Rose Sprung Free verseabuse,meaningful,race,rel
7/8/2016 The Sparrows of Dom St Peter Versechildren,faith,music,
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5/1/2016 Cathedrale St Sauveur Aix En Provence, France Verseart,faith,
4/12/2016 Neap Tide Blank verseage,beauty,love,
4/2/2016 Red Sky Over Cairo Free verseanxiety,fear,travel,
3/31/2016 Monet's Garden Villanelleart,travel,vacation,
1/31/2016 A Hail Mary Pass To the Twenty-First Century Free verseanger,angst,bullying,fear
1/31/2016 Breathless Prose Poetryhope,
1/29/2016 The Guardian At the Gate Ekphrasismyth,
1/16/2016 You Gotta Have Heart Ekphrasisart,
1/6/2016 Spectors of Doom Shapeangst,war,
1/5/2016 Blood Masks the Lea Rondeaudeath,war,
1/4/2016 A Swallows Tears Sonnetaddiction,suicide,
12/14/2015 A Blooded, Virgin, Night Free versepain,
12/5/2015 Madelaine's Chalice Versedevotion,love,
11/29/2015 Blessed Be Versenature,
11/29/2015 Ho-Ho-Ho Haibunholiday,
11/17/2015 Golden Disks and Whale Clicks Free versespace,
11/9/2015 Spare Change Coupletseasons,
10/29/2015 Cymbals of Winter Free verseurban,wind,winter,
10/28/2015 Death Undignified, Fort Laramie 1860 Sestinamemory,
10/27/2015 A Kneaded Life Haibunage,dream,love,
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4/27/2015 The Sandy Shoal Free versedeath,
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My Photos


Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
God Free verselife,mystery,
Hard Times Cowboy Poetrycowboy-western,family,fun
For Things Once Counted Rhymeintrospection,loss,uplift
Petal Verselove,
Defender of the Wastes Free verseart,life,parody,world,
Birth Imagismchildhood,life
This Is Why I Woo Words Verseart,inspirational,philoso
Forbear Free versesad,
Belongings Rhymeloss,love,me,mother,
Gold Fever Free versefaithfaith,political,pers
Splattered I do not know?life
Echo Quatrainlost lovewords,love,
Bells (After Poe) Lyricpassion
Respectfully, Emily Dickinson Lyricintrospection,
Give the End Back To the Beginning Free versededication,faithme,
The Bruised and Rotting Pear Coupletfaith,hope
Fly Free verseanimals
Abc's For a Young Captain ABClife
Not Entirely About Living In New York Free verselifeworld,light,light,
Woodcutter I do not know?warold,old,
Dreams Free versefaith,forgiveness
A Feed of Chips Narrativefunny
Weep O Willows Versedeath
Harlem Blues Free verseblack-african amerchildre
Summers Everlasting Free versenostalgia
Easter Ivy Narrativefriendshipeaster,cousin,
End of Days Rhymeinspirational,lifeme,war,
Past-Life Nightmare Narrativeautumn,mystery,
I Dream of You (To Jew) Free verseimagination,lovenight,swe
Jellyfish Back Strophe Imagismallegory,nature,on writin
Disposable Wisdom Rhymeage,cat,endurance,life,wi
Loneliness Rhymeintrospection,life
Remission (In Memory of William Watt). Elegybrother,death,nostalgiawo
The Day That Died Forever Free verseadventure,angst,art,confu
Heritage Quatrainadventure,cowboy-western,
Summer Matinee Narrativebrother,me,
The Moon and I I do not know?hope,life,love,nature,pea
Seeking, Searching Free verseimaginationlove,universe,
Before Spring Came Narrativeadventure,animals,childho
Pledge Sonnetdevotion
Wild Cherries Free versedevotion,nature,nostalgia
Words From the Oracle Layallegory,philosophy
Science Free verse 
Mona Lisa Resembles Chokaart
And With Merriest Spirit Quintain (English)faith,father,holiday,insp
Cotton-Pickin' Paradise Versechildhood,life,nostalgia,
Where the Sycamore Grew Narrativeautumn,family,house,life,
Larks Free versedeath,devotion,imaginatio
Big Bang Limerickfunny,science,
Winter (Do Not Forget Among the Loss of Flowers) Me Free verse 
Let I do not know?loveme,me,
He Was Smoking Hot I do not know?funny
Alabaster Night Free versenature,planet,sea,
Haunted Orb Haikufantasy,nature
This Night Sonnet 
Tombstones & Teacups Rhymeallegory,childhood,death,
Today Not Tomorrow Free versededication,depression,gir
Years of the Rose Free verselost love,loveday,
The Joy That Sweetly Stays Free verse 
Cinder Girl Rhyme 
Biography (Thesis Statement) Versehistory,life,philosophyli
Figure Fusion Verseart,sports
Dancing Bird - With Video Link Free verseanimals,introspection,nat
Poem For a Sensuous Poet Free versefantasy,on writing and wo
The Road Walked Down Through the Years Rhymelife,on writing and words
The Iceman Cometh! Rhymenostalgia
He Says/ She Says Narrativelife
I'Ve Seen So Many Sonnetintrospectionnight,night,
Searching For Michelangelo Free verseart,hope,life,people,imag
Indifference Free verse 
Realisation of Self (War Child) Free verseme,me,
Reporting Live On the Soup (Colorado) Rhymefunnyme,me,,western,
Late At Night Lyricimaginationme,fear,me,
Reverencing Nature Balladfaith,naturenature,heart,
Dreams Coupletimagination
I Exist Pantoumintrospectionlife,me,
Madrid: Circa 1974 Blank versenostalgia,travel,
Magnolia Song Free verselove,romance,
Yellow Bus Roars Through Haikuallegory,nature,places
Ethel's Remedies Rhymefunny,people
A Dream In the Mist Narrativefantasy,imagination,natur
Volga 1 - 3 Prose Poetryfantasy
Mama's Cleaning Quatrainintrospection,life,mother
Waking Heart's Veins Free verseangst,hope,
Revelation Free verseimagination,lifesong,long
Sports Limerick Limerickfunny
The Snowflake Italian Sonnetromance,
Jack Lyricintrospectionlife,
The Ghost That Travels Far Personificationnature,
Kite Flying - Test Free verseallegory,art,imagination,
Dining With Crow Rhymeanimals
Beauty, Yes Sijohope,imagination,philosop
Smart and Final Prose Prose Poetrypeoplepeople,red,city,peo
Tiger In the Sea Rispettoadventure,animals,seame,t
A Song of Michael's Rose Narrativeme,
Where My True Love Lives - a Ballade Balladedeath,love,ocean,
Into Morning Free verselife
Play Me a Teardrop Rhymelost loveme,me,
Tickle Trout Narrativeadventure,food,
The Sweetest Song Sonnet 

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Carolyn Devonshire United States Flag United States Read
Carrie Richards United States Flag United States Read
Deirdre Omaidin Ireland Flag Ireland Read
Andrew Crisci United States Flag United States Read
Jim Fish United States Flag United States Read
Nigel Fawcett Italy Flag Italy Read
L'Nass Shango United States Flag United States Read
Andrea Dietrich United States Flag United States Read
Robert L. Hinshaw United States Flag United States Read
Nette Onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Sidney Beck Russian Federation Flag Russian Federation Read
Sammy Shaq Canada Flag Canada Read
Charlotte Puddifoot United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Cyndi Macmillan Canada Flag Canada Read
T Wignesan France Flag France Read
Elaine George Canada Flag Canada Read
Sharon Winter United States Flag United States Read
Michael Smith United States Flag United States Read
Jack Horne United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Paul Callus Malta Flag Malta Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Joann Grisetti United States Flag United States Read
Ravindra K Kapoor India Flag India Read
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Kathryn Collins United States Flag United States Read
Michael Jordan United States Flag United States Read
Constance La France Canada Flag Canada Read

Book: Shattered Sighs