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The supernanny syndrome - Darren Watson's Blog

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The supernanny syndrome

Blog Posted:3/24/2014 11:09:00 AM

Fate has yet to bless me with children of my own , Raising children must be probably the most important job any of us can do in life , I can see that it must be rewarding at times, Possibly frustrating at times ,Joyful , Worrying , Loving and I can see that it might even be expensive at times  , From watching my friends and family raise their kids though, I'm left with more questions than answers , When I see bad behaviour in children , I see two approaches , My father believed a smacked bottom nipped bad behaviour in the bud , My mother believed in telling me she would tell my dad if I misbehaved, Perhaps those days have gone forever and that might not be a bad thing but is the naughty step or naughty chair the right way ? I'm not so sure , Where I do agree with Supernanny is in the fact that both parents should be on the same page and positive encouragement is the way forward ,

Its just that I often see a mum laying down the law in my sisters and my friends homes but dad comes and really doesn't want to get involved in the discipline , That works the other way too of course but I must admit it is rare that I see it , Seems to me that despite great shows like Supernanny giving us tips , Kids still don't come with a set of rules we must follow , All we can do is the best we can ,Just in case I ever am blessed with kids , I'll learn all I can but I just don't believe the good cop, Bad cop routine is fair or workable anymore ,

My mum and dad tried to stop me playing with certain friends , That I know for sure does not work , Dad would ground me , Mother would let me out to play , Dad said '' no pocket money'' Mother slipped it to me , What does work ?



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Date: 3/26/2014 6:04:00 AM
However, working with children now as I do I have seen a dramatic downturn in their behaviour over the recent years. I had respect for my elders and would never answer back/ swear and be deliberately confrontational as i see all too often at work . I am afraid today often society is to blame - marriage breakdowns are all too common and this has a devastating effect on the children and this is often reflected in their behaviour. Also teachers/staff are unable to discipline so the kids know what buttons to press knowing very little can be done about it - oh don't get me started will be on my soapbox all day. hugs Jan x
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Jan Allison
Date: 3/29/2014 5:48:00 AM
Try working in school with me for a day - you would be horrified! Wrote a cynical poem called 'the usual suspects' about our school behavioural policy - sadly only one person from senior management bothered to read it when I posted it at work. About 8 yrs ago one of my ex colleagues was attacked by a child aged about 11 - he got expelled - horrendous situation.
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/28/2014 9:53:00 PM
My mother was a school dinner lady for a little while and I used to call and pick her up to run her home . I saw for myself how rude some kids could be , Which is why I chose this topic as a discussion piece , So I could learn.
Date: 3/26/2014 5:58:00 AM
Found this so interesting to read Darren. I trained as a nursery nurse when I left school ... many years ago. Unfortunately children do not come with a 'hands on guide' when they are born and its up to us as parents to do the best job we can. The first word my son learned was 'no' and if he heard it he knew what it meant - we never had to move ornaments lock kitchen cupboards or re-paper the room because he'd scribbled on it! Am blessed hes an amazing lad with a bright future (I hope) and he does get his goal of a 1st class honours degree in computer science.
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/28/2014 9:50:00 PM
Thank you Jan , You know I wish only the very best for you and your family . I do hope your son gets his degree.
Date: 3/25/2014 12:16:00 PM
Having been a mother of three and the main care keeper, I had my own methods. I dealt with them with love. It worked with me. I told them with love, why some things were wrong and some things right and they listened. That was a long time ago and they did not have all of the distractions of today but they all grew up to be outstanding and upstanding people. I never threatened to involve their dad and he seldom disciplined. Neither of us used physical chastisement. Joyce
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/28/2014 9:48:00 PM
Thank you Joyce , You are an inspiration.
Date: 3/25/2014 1:39:00 AM
If you re concerned enough to discuss the subject re parenting..Im sure that s the first great step to being an excellent parent..Till then..dont worry too much..You re on the right track : )
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/25/2014 11:15:00 AM
Not concerned Charmaine , More like curious , My own father believed the end of the world was in sight when the cane was banned from schools , Times change . I can see that.
Date: 3/24/2014 7:19:00 PM
Hi Darren, Kids will always swerve and veer to outside influences, hitting does no good, I was not, nor were mine. When there's need for discipline stay calm, explain right from wrong, I always added a story to emphasize the point, so yeah lots of stories told haha. I believe both parents have to be on the same wavelength, though one should appear to have the final say. If you both stick to the script you won't go far wrong. Bringing up kids is very much a matter of working together.
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/25/2014 11:20:00 AM
Thanks Richard , Supernanny could have said ever word of that reply , If you've ever seen the show , You'll know many parents are not on the same wavelength.
Date: 3/24/2014 5:23:00 PM
darren, I forgot your age and circumstances but is it something that you are in a situation to do right now? Have children? If so, then it is really good for you to be thinking about these things. The key is to talk it out with your spouse to see how they feel about things like discipline etc. People who feel totally different on how to handle such things will have marital difficulties are well. Consistency and firmness coupled with love are the two most important things!! (and I blundered at both)
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/25/2014 11:11:00 AM
Soup is very much about families and I thought it a good idea to take advantage of all that experience.
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/25/2014 11:09:00 AM
The chance to have a family may well have gone now Andrea , I hope not but I only have myself to blame. If the chance ever does come, I would like to do things right,
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 3/24/2014 5:24:00 PM
I mean to say "AS well" not Are well.
Date: 3/24/2014 1:00:00 PM
I remember some smacks on my butt..I really don't want it to be that way with my daughter.I remember I used to be the first from my friends to return home at weekends.I didnt drive those days.Once I lost the bus but couldnt stay with my friends and return later with organized mini vans.I had to walk alone all the way to get a taxi and make it in time..which was more dangerous.With my daughter..I want it different.Firstly ,My husband and I are her souper nannies..We dnt believe in smacks and hitting ..though We believe in discipline.I guess the moderate way is good in everything.I want my daughter to know that there are two roles that I do..That of a friend but even that of a mother.
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Charmaine Chircop
Date: 3/24/2014 2:02:00 PM
No..I know nothing more than you..Everyday is a learning process for me.My daughter is not even two yrs old and each day is a challenge.Re uncobditional love it depends how you see unconditional-To give her anything She wants or to give her what I know is good for her?.Example If when She grows up She do drugs..and She takes it against me if I try to stop her..What shall I do?Will I turn her in to detox even if she hates me for it or Would I let her do as She wishes.Believe me..maybe im wrong..but i would put her in..cause I love her.Its restricting her freedom of ruining her being..Maybe im wrong..but unconditional love ..Depends what We understand.You got my point? :)
Watson Avatar
Darren Watson
Date: 3/24/2014 1:40:00 PM
Of course you have children , So you know far more than me.
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/24/2014 1:39:00 PM
Good points Charmaine, I would want my children to be able to come to me with any problem , I would want them always to feel loved but I am suspicious of unconditional love because I see a parents role as having the strength to set the conditions.
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Charmaine Chircop
Date: 3/24/2014 1:06:00 PM
Everyday She s gonna know how much We love her and everyday She s gonna know how important to get yhe best education is..but how more important to respect others is.Its not about getting certificates in life that makes her a decent human being ..but its about worshipping values so many forget.
Date: 3/24/2014 11:24:00 AM
My daughter has 5 children and she believes in lots of talking with all of them because she finds in a group they will find out more about what each one has been up to. They have their jobs listed on a board in the kitchen so they feel like part of the family. Everyone eats together at supper everyday and church on Sunday. I am very proud of the great job my daughter and son-in-law have done with their kids..
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Darren Watson
Date: 3/24/2014 11:28:00 AM
Great points and you have every reason to be proud , I wish them and you all the very best .

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