Agony Aunt
Dear depressed girlfriend
Thank you for your note
He's obviously the boyfriend of the year
So he's going to get my vote .
Your boyfriend is in prison
After he robbed the local shopping mall
but he'd love you to visit San Quentin
and do a strip dance on top of the wall .
His sister is only jealous
because she's been so long on the game
Ten cents a trick Tess from Tulsa
I'm sure you've heard the name .
He's got a mate named Oliver
He knows the artful dodger too
and I'm sure the honourable Mr Fagin
Would look after your kids for you .
I know mister Cowell's sister
Has been sending you advice
but I know she has played twister
with your boyfriend once or twice .
So listen to your agony uncle
To your boyfriend please be true
When he gets out in ten years time
He'll be coming back to you.
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