One Drunken Night
In through the front door he creeps
The old girl lies upstairs asleep
Then he hears her call
In his drunken stupor he falls
Her swear words should carry a bleep.
He's broken her ornamental well
He hears her shout '' oh effing hell ''
and he can see all her wares
As she comes bounding downstairs
He's in for a roasting he can tell.
She helps carry him to bed
But the thought of her boobies won't leave his head
He thought a touch would be nice
and he did it without thinking twice
She gave a look that would frighten the dead.
He got up and fell in the bath
It was then he heard her laugh
She said '' that serves you so right''
You can sleep there all night
He's too sozzled to follow her path.
He woke up at an unearthly hour
His bladder must have lots of staying power
Relieved he crawled back into bed
You're bloody freezing she said
Go get yourself a warm shower.
but he cuddles and spoons
Singing her favourite tune
Nibbling her ears
and though stinking of beer
She isn't stopping him anytime soon.
No matter how hard he tried
His excitement would not be denied
He caressed her body tenderly
Kissed her so romantically
The way he did when she was a young bride.
Be still her beating heart
Of her he is part
and knowing he resides in that wonderful address
He states '' I'm forgiven I guess
She laughs , ''Ask me tomorrow when I've got a full shopping cart.
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