Simon
Simon has been gone a long time
Does he think we are playing hide and seek
I remember him saying 20 minutes ago
He was going to take a leak.
I open up the bathroom door
I can't believe what I see
Simon sitting on the bathroom floor
His trousers around his knee's.
His head bowed over the toilet rim
Shouting Hughey into the bowl
Are you ok , I ask of him
but he's busy retching up his soul.
It must have been a virus
Ha , That's a likely tale
I don't suppose it has a lot to do
With downing 8 pints of Yorkshire ale.
The world is spinning round mate
He begged me to leave him on his own
Would I call his missus
So she could drive him home .
I heard him say '' I effing love you''
You're beautiful you are
Then I heard her snap You drunken prat
Get in the effing car .
I would hate to be in his shoes
This morning when he wakes
Last night his wife looked so angry
I felt the earth around her shake.
She won't ground him forever
Even henpecked husbands don't get that fate
and in the pub next Friday
He'll have to face his mates.
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