Simon

Simon has been gone a long time 
Does he think we are playing hide and seek
I remember him saying 20 minutes ago 
He was going to take a leak.

I open up the bathroom door 
I can't believe what I see
Simon sitting on the bathroom floor
His trousers around his knee's.

His head bowed over the toilet rim 
Shouting Hughey into the bowl
Are you ok , I ask of him 
but he's busy retching up his soul.

It must have been a virus 
Ha , That's a likely tale 
I don't suppose it has a lot to do 
With downing 8 pints of Yorkshire ale.

The world is spinning round mate 
He begged me to leave him on his own 
Would I call his missus
So she could drive him home . 

I heard him say '' I effing love you''
You're beautiful you are 
Then I heard her snap You drunken prat
Get in the effing car .

I would hate to be in his shoes
This morning when he wakes
Last night his wife looked so angry
I felt the earth around her shake.

She won't ground him forever 
Even henpecked husbands don't get that fate
and in the pub next Friday 
He'll have to face his mates.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 2:51 AM
hahahaha. After you asked if I was related to simon Cowel, I just had to read this one named Simon. Glad I did. This was great fun. How I love to laugh and to make people laugh. HOpe my limerick did that for you.
Watson Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 3:47 AM
I was worried that you might be the lady we see in the papers all the time who is carrying Simon's baby , lol Your limerick certainly made me giggle but its made me think of you as a bit of a dominatrix , lol Only kidding Andrea . You get my vote every time .
Smith Avatar
February 16, 2014 at 8:47 AM
Haha...must of been one hell of a party....Enjoy you hangover
Watson Avatar
February 16, 2014 at 9:47 AM
Just a bit of fun Tim but thanks for the lovely comment .
Palli Avatar
February 16, 2014 at 4:53 AM
Nice story! You've got talent
Watson Avatar
February 16, 2014 at 5:26 AM
I've got a hangover. lol
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