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Boys Night In

Tonight there is a match on telly
The lads are coming round 
most of them are married
So my home is to be the neutral ground .

If any of their wives ring 
I'm to pretend that I am deaf
and they've all elected me to be
head barman and chef.

I've got Guinness and lager
A crate or two of Yorkshire ale
Newcastle brown and bitter
So the booze just cannot fail .

I've made three lovely shepherds pies
but I asked the lads which veg I should use
I've just been reading their replies
Now I'm totally confused .

One lad doesn't like cabbage
Another doesn't like swede
and it seems broccoli and cauliflower
are members of a dying breed .

The veg that the lads want 
From all the replies I've seen 
are lots of French fried onions 
and cans of Heinz baked beans .

12 drunken farting Yorkies
My house would smell like an old cess pit 
So they'll get what their given 
They can take it or leave it .

Lemon sole for starters 
Chocolate cheesecake for dessert
and if I get a single complaint
I'll kick them where it hurts.

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Shadow Hamilton

Date: 2/17/2014 3:53:00 AM

I love this hilariously funny poem Darren a poem of great depth into men escaping their spouses lol hugs

Darren Watson
Date: 2/17/2014 6:44:00 AM

Thank you Shadow , My friends are sports fanatics , So a few beers , A plate of food and a good match to watch and they're in heaven . The married guys are funny though , It is they who demand we don't talk about wives or kids but a couple of beers later , They talk of little else.

Lucilla Carrillo

Date: 2/16/2014 10:23:00 AM

I enjoyed this very much, Now I know what boys do on their night in. Sounds like a good party. Thanks for sharing... Lucilla

Darren Watson
Date: 2/16/2014 10:55:00 AM

Eat drink and be merry Lucilla . Nothing sordid I assure you . We watched 2 football matches , First was brilliant , Second was like watching paint dry , lol Thanks for the kind comments.

Robert Rogers

Date: 2/15/2014 6:41:00 PM

Hahahahahahaha, I just cannot resist giving this work a "7"!...Too COOL! :-)...Hahahahaha Very amusing and entertaining piece DW...smilin'//Robert

Darren Watson
Date: 2/16/2014 5:57:00 AM

Thank you Robert . It is rare these days that the old gang get together . Saturdays were always going to be a day for the boys when some of them married but they have been trained to think differently now , That's as it should be but I'd never tell the wimps that. lol

Ralph Sergi

Date: 2/15/2014 9:23:00 AM

Hi Again , Darren: I enjoyed this poem as like you were doing a recipe Brit style! THANKS FOR SHARING THAT! Its been a long time since I'd been in England but I do recall the sheperd pies Great Write!

Darren Watson
Date: 2/16/2014 6:15:00 AM

Ingredients 50g/2oz dripping 2 large onions, finely chopped 2 tbsp olive oil 900g/2lb minced lamb 2 tbsp plain flour 4 bay leaves 4 sprigs fresh thyme 2 tsp anchovy essence 2 small tins chopped tomatoes 4 tsp Worcestershire sauce 450ml/16fl oz chicken, beef or lamb stock salt and freshly ground black pepper For the mash 700g/1½lb potatoes 55ml/2fl oz milk 75g/3oz butter 1 free-range egg yolk

Darren Watson
Date: 2/15/2014 10:09:00 AM

Thanks Ralph . One of the lads went to America last year and came back raving about something called a chicken fried steak , We all think he made it up , So I can't wait for his turn to cook.