The Alien Abduction
An alien abducted me
In his turbo space machine
He has promised he will set me free
If I help him find a queen .
Well I believe in true romance
I listen as he reels off his queens necessities
As he spoke I kept thinking '' No chance ''
and uttering the phrase ''oh Jeez ''
He says his queen just has to be
As gentle as a lamb
Never argue or disagree
and be eager to please her man .
She must not moan if he's watching telly
Or if he's drinking beer in a bar
and after midnight when his legs turn to jelly
She must pick him up in the car .
She must be immaculate and sexy
She must smell just like a rose
Never get a little tetchy
When she see's him pick his nose
She's got to feed the dog , Mind the kids
Keep the house sparkling clean
Listen to what his work mates did
In the turbo space machine .
See there is beer in the fridge
For when his mates come round
Make them all a sandwich
See the kids don't make a sound .
Though she may be worn out
By the rigours of the day
She must be ready to put out
and let him have his way .
Well the alien who abducted me
Sure wants his money's worth
but he won't get any help from me
So I am eternally orbiting the Earth.
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