Here's the scoop, friends...
This is, as indicated, the 1st THIRD of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd and 3rd parts had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No other way I could manage to make it happen...I hope you'll read the whole beast -
A friend of mine - Ruby Kimble - coaxed me into ringing up “Voodoo Vera’s Psychic Parlor” down in Vale today,
Promising her special skills at conjuring up the spirit world were easily worth the hefty fee she made her patrons pay.
“She’s really good,” my friend insisted, “everyone I’ve talked to says she’s got a gift for making creepy things appear,
Floating ‘round the séance table...plumb right outta nowhere...and, if they listen really close...a few have said they hear
“Undeniable voices from the past! I’m talkin’ loved ones - folks that passed away clean up to ninety years ago!
Course...hookin’ up with relatives they’ve never actually met makes it kinda tricky for a customer to know
“If, indeed, the voice they’re hearing is the one she’s claiming, but Voodoo Vera’s not the type who’d summon up a voice
That ain’t the one she says it is...that would be disgusting. And according to her website ad...she lets you take your choice
“Of whom it is you’d like to hear from. Who you’d like to talk to. Vera asks the questions, in her very special way,
Then...if the spirit’s listening...and the question’s not too weird...provided that her ‘séance’measures up to what they say…
“Whether it be friend or fam’ly, if you hear them answer, you’ll be just as sure as I am...Vera is a mystic!
Corky Jubil swore to me that...when she turned to Vera...everything she saw and heard seemed fairly realistic!
“Hoping she could shoot the poop with someone long since dead, Corky paid the eighteen bucks to chat with Ned McGuire,
A not-so-clever corporal in the war between the states. While firmly in the realm of those she vowed she’d never hire,
“Corky - quite the skeptic when it came to psychic powers - simply had to ask this - Ned - if what she’d heard was true.
Based on what her granddad told her, he and seven other rebels robbed a Union cargo train in 1862
“And got away with 50 million dollars worth of gold. The story goes they hid the loot for when the war was done,
But all eight soldiers lost their lives in June - at Chattanooga, and...three years later, as we know...the Union forces won.
“All of Corky’s research - as haphazard as it was - had her thinking what they’d stolen never has been found,
And Vera was - at least in Vale - the only working psychic! There weren’t no other gals that worked with crystal balls around!
“Vera kinda squinted when young Corky posed her question, ‘Where the hell’d ya’ hide the gold...ya’ need to tell me, Ned?
You ain’t gonna get a chance to spend it, far as I see, ‘cause unless you’re around a hundred an’ eighty, you, my friend, are dead!’
“Vera grabbed her Ouija-board, figurin’ - if he answered - nothin’ beats a Ouija-board for talkin’ to a ghost.
Ya’ see...if Corky’s long-dead counterpart responded to her plea...and Vera pulled out all the stops and lived up her boast...
“Maybe - only maybe - this here - Corporal Ned McGuire, just might fin’ly spill the beans on where the gold was at!
But street-wise Corky knew full well what sorceress Voodoo Vera just might try to conjure up beneath her witches’ hat.
“’Looks like Ned ain’t talkin’, Corky,’ Vera promptly quipped...as the Ouija’s knowing planchette crept around beneath her hand,
Which prompted her to figurin’ - Ned was there - answerin’ back - but in a way that, sadly, only mystics understand.
“Then, rushing Corky out the door, ‘You come back tomorrow,’ Vera added cheerfully, ‘there’ll be no charge today!
He prob’ly thinks you’re FBI, and - even though he’s dead - I’m pretty sure he won’t respond...but ya’ never know...he may!
“At 10 a.m. next morning, Corky tried to phone the parlor...not that shocked to get the message - ‘Closed ‘til further notice’!
Even more convinced that Vera’s powers were legit...and just as sure that what she’d claimed, concerning Ned, was bogus...
“Assuming that she’d found a way to make him spill the beans, in hopes of intercepting her, she raced to Vera’s trailer,
Figurin’ she’d be headin’ out for where he’d hid the loot, and...like a good detective would…Corky aimed to trail her!
“As expected, Vera headed pretty much due south, then hung a left in Cape Girardeau, speeding all the while.
Corky almost lost her once a few miles west o’ Nashville for tryin’ hard to stay behind at least a quarter mile.
“Close to midnight Vera headed south again at Knoxville, then, just outside of Murfreesboro, stopped to grab some sleep,
And Corky - bein’ dark and all - checked in moments later...parkin’ barely fifty feet away from Vera’s Jeep.
“Up at dawn, Corky donned a pair of real dark glasses and slid down in her seat a ways so Vera couldn’t spot her.
Vera’d packed a lunch so’d never once pulled off to eat, so Corky - understandably - had only gotten hotter!
“Famished - due to Vera’s tactics, Corky couldn’t take it, so - adjacent a Burger King - she raced across the lot
Thinking she could grab a sandwich...BUT...as luck would have it...twenty yards from paradise was as close as Corky got!
“Erupting from her ground floor room, Vera - now in street-clothes, recognized her instantly, despite her great disguise -
And very clearly understood her concentrated glare (which liars tend to reap from those who’ve suffer for their lies),
“‘I was gonna call ya’ if I found it,’ Vera promised, ‘and if we do, wha-da’ya’ say…we do an even split?’
‘I’m OK with a finder’s fee,’ Corky promptly snarled, ‘but if you think you’re gettin’ half that gold...you’re full o’ --- crap!
Be sure to read the 2nd and 3rd parts, it's a really fun piece - Mark
Copyright © Mark Stellinga | Year Posted 2021