Not that Jack and Jill
Jack took Jill up the hill
On the pretext of fetching water
But the need for some weed
Was a far more pressing order.
The hill was all green with flowers asunder
When they lit the pipe so they could go under
Jack inhaled deeply and spied Jilly with a posy
She took the pipe and took it in till her cheeky were rosy
They lay a while, and closed their eyes, the birds all chirps and singing
The clouds floated and bobbed their beards as weed and ecstasy collided
The sky was bluer, the grass greener, the air fresher as senses imploded.
Another puff, eyes closed, and images dance in the gentle breeze
As clouds part, God appears, staff in hand, smiling with ease.
All sounds are dappled, all objects move slowly, deliberately
The Rest of the Story Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Miranda Hawley
1st place
Jack and Jill went up the hill
At school, this is what we were taught
But abruptly, Jack proposed Jill with a rose
Jill rejected it after a deep thought.
Respecting each other’s view
Their friendship they tried to renew
As true friends they lived their lives ever after.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
we tell our kids this story all day long
but Jill was bitter and she was savvy
and she went to her lawyer with a sad song.
The lawyer filed in the court
and Jack got the report
That Jill was after his crown.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a romp together
In their hearts they felt the thrill
Of a wild roll in the heather
Up jumped Jill with voice so shrill
Oh Jack,Oh Jack , forgive me ,dear
I did not this morn take my pill
And you will know what I now fear
With Roe V Wade no longer allowed
We will both now be under a cloud
Now you must say what you would rather
Will you do a runner or be a father?
If you really love me ,you will remain
To rear our child and ease my pain
Up Jack got and home did trot
To pack, never to be seen again
OR
Up Jack got and home did trot
As fast as he could caper
to pack his case and away did race
In case she claimed he'd tried to rape her.
Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down,
And broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
We all know,
There’s more to go,
About this well disaster.
Jack got home,
Started to moan,
Went to see Doc McMaster.
Well ole doc,
Looked at the clock,
Said the store’s open uptown.
So he wrote,
Jack out a note,
Told him, “these will fix your crown.”
Mom found out,
When Jack went out,
He was with that **** Jill Brown.
Jack got home,
Mom wasn’t alone,
She said son set your ass down.
This man here,
Is preacher Greer,
He has some questions for you.
If you’ve been,
Playing again,
There’s only one thing to do.
Jack and Jill,
Stayed wed until,
Their fourteenth child was brand new.
Jack was quick,
Got in his buick,
Left Jill living in a shoe.
The next time,
A hill you climb,
Just make the right selection.
If you go,
You need to know,
Use some kind of protection.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
When they came down, Jill magically became a Jack.
Now they could not reproduce a great son nor a daughter!
6/15/2023
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to eat the curds and whey,
then the isty bisty spider
came and sat down beside her
and Jill ran away.
Then Jack got nimble
and Jack got quick
and called all the kings horses and men,
then he sat in the corner
and blew his horn,
and saw the cow jump out of the corn.
Jack And Jill Slalom
Jack and Jill went up the snowy hill
To fetch a ride down the slalom trail
In and out of the turns they met a thrill
Like snow bunnies wagging their tail
With each turn thru the banks like a snake
Their skis gather speed faster and faster
Their bed away from home began to shake
And just like that, their ride's a disaster
Jack fell down in a heap of laughter
As he lost his balance in a shady bank
Not to be outdone, Jill came tumbling after
Jack's crown's in pieces, and Jill's heart sank
1/16/23
12 Lines of Rhyme - Winter Nature Themed Poetry Contest
5th
Sponsor-Tania Kitchin
Where Hillbilly Jack
Sent his pregnant wife, Jill,
Was not for a pail of well water.
She tramped up that hill
For some swill from a still,
But returned with a new baby daughter.
Jack wasn't amused
When Jill told him the news,
And he yelled, "Whar'n tarnation's mah likker?"
So she crowned him and drowned him
Where they still haven't found him.
Hillbilly divorces are cheaper and quicker.
JACK AND JILL
Jubilant Jack Frost wearing thin torn jacket
stepped on snow descending from a rocket.
chewed snow balls from a jug.
Sister Jill gave him hug.
Jack pushed Jill to snatch her snow ball locket.
12/ 19/ 21
When Jill fell down on Jack's weenie
She remarked that it was so teeny
Jack thought she meant "perky"
Not dried-up old jerky
But Jack had this magic beanie ....
Jill decided she'd live a life of crime
Profitable way to spend all her time --
Gang boss said, "Learn to Carjack
And we'll always have your back --
In Chicago we'll set you up full-time"
Okay all you growed up kiddies, ready for this
Jack and Jill fell down the hill, the original premise
Well the true story is such
They ended up in a clutch
Humping and bumping till they spoke a foreign dialect
Jack was oh so lean and lanky
Jill was all for hanky panky
But things went amuck
When Jack's zipper stuck
In a pinch, she found him cranky!
Okay all you growed up kiddies, ready for this
Jack and Jill fell down the hill, the original premise
Well the true story is such
They ended up in a clutch
Humping and bumping till they spoke a foreign dialect
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