Funny Poems | Examples

With a Gentle Hand

Ignored wounds
do not bleed at once,
but when touched for cure
they ache longer than they should,
reminding us how silence gathers dust
inside the body.

It is not that love is feared,
only that sometimes
its arrival feels unnecessary
like an extra flame
in a room already warm.

Still, a newborn’s breath
teaches another language of affection,
a fragile trust resting
in the hollow of two palms.

Love moves gently,
care bends like grass in wind,
affection lingers in corners
where no one thought to look.

And the hands--
they rise as sky,
they fold as umbrella,
they open as shelter.
One gesture,
a thousand meanings,
all carrying us
a little further away from hurt.

Shadow Tail

Tree top dwellers
Electric line leapers
Garage roof tenants
They seem to live solely
To gather nuts
Be chased by eager canines,
And flaunt their furry tails.

Our Union Is On Quaky Ground

Our relationship is on shaky ground
We don't kiss each other like before
We don't say hello and goodbye anymore
We give each other the runaround
For the grace of God
We need to sit down to talk things over
We need the help of the Lord
Countless serious promises were made
That we must keep, cherish and honor
We must always sleep in the same bed
Until the end of time, until eternity
We must behave and act maturely
We must discuss everything thoroughly
We must smile and be nice to each other
We must live in peace and in harmony
And our love and passion must last forever.

Copyright © January,2019 Hebert Logerie All Rights Reserved
Hebert Logerie is the author of several books of poetry.

A Very Bad Day

When I arose one day, I could barely walk.
Had to drink my coffee before I could talk.

Before I was done, the bathroom would call,
I held the grab bar, but still managed to fall.

The shower beckoned me, so I went on in.
I slipped on the soap, and bruised my shin. 

Later I was hungry, so in the kitchen I go.
I screamed a bit loudly, when I stubbed my toe.

My dog started barking, and looking quite mean.
He then bit my leg, it was a real bloody scene.

I made it to the fridge, and looked inside,
There was nothing to eat, so I sat down and cried.

I ordered a large pizza, and thought "oh well".
But when it arrived, it was burnt as hell. 

I tried to take a walk, but my feet were still sore,
Instead of feeling good, it was becoming a chore. 

I made it back home, after slipping in the mud,
That's it, I thought, this day's a real dud. 

I thought tomorrow will be good, like it's always been,
I laid my head on my pillow, then the ceiling caved in. 

Goodnight!

Tall And Thin

His name was Dan but most called him “snake”,
we listened intently to each thing that he spake.
His voice would croak,
and that is no joke,
Because he was different we thought him a flake.

UNTITLED

destined for stardom

I appear on local news

rollers in my hair

My Love

I used the love poem generator on here to write this one. I like to do it putting in wild words to create something funny when I am feeling a little down.

My Love, Cucumber

Your skin glows like the orange, blossoms tart as the Mexican Petunia in the purest hope of spring.
My yearning heart rises to your bass drum voice and leaps like a cogar at the whisper of your name, Cucumber.
The evening ascends in on a great great blue heron wing.
I am calmed by your heavy duck that I carry into the twilight of earthbeams and hold next to my feet.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of buttermilk.
As my ears falls from your nose, I am reminded of your frown.
In the hushed, I listen for the last dew drop fall of the spring.
My heated lungs breathe inside my house. I wait in the crystal moonlight for your secret mansion so that we may stands as one, lungs to lungs, in search of the glorious yellow sensual hill of love.

The Note in Your Shoes

The wedding venue burnt without flame
the moment we stepped in.
You and I, hand in hand, step by step—
we laughed till our facials started aching,
we danced until the floor grew tired.

That was the story of our first day in love.
Twenty five years after marriage~
we now hardly speak,
our children hardly know us.

We rise too early, return too late,
stealing only minutes for
good morning
and how was your night,
before the routine begins again.

Nannies cradle our children in their arms—
they bathe them, clothe them,
and sing them lullabies meant to be sung by us.

Last night I saw your first gray strand,
glinting as you hurried into your car.
I smiled—you’ve joined
my five-year-old company of grays.

Darling,
how many more years
will we remain strangers tied by rings?
When will our children truly be ours?

Forgive me for leaving this note in your shoes,
but I wanted you to find it
before leaving for work this morning.

I said, 'Okay! Let's play a little game'

I said, "Okay! Let's play a little game.
I'll pick a number, and I'll pick a name.
And if you can guess neither,
you'll have to watch my Peter,
while I paint your new door and the new frame."

sleepless fun : footle

        

     toss bon-bons

                                 mice won ~

UNTITLED

contented dog 
stretches and yawns
no room for me

GAME OF CAT AND ROBIN

my russian blue cat
static like a statue
on the sun-warmed
window ledge

laser-focused eyes
fixate
on the gum tree
leaves tremble
then still

shrewd cat waits
wet nose
smearing the glass

a robin’s fleeting shadow
darts across
a pool of sunlight
diving into
the center of the light
then swooping back again
in a blur of motion

my cat pounces
chasing the robin
around
the carpeted floor

over and over
he paws at
the imaginary catch
but each time
elusive robin
slips away

Forest of Blue

Marjorie Moose, with her chandelier crown,
found twelve ducklings just wandering down.
No mother in sight, no map in their beaks
just confused chirps and moss-covered cheeks.

She took them to a pond shaped like a spoon,
where frogs sang jazz beneath the moon.
She taught them to nap in a thistle-made bed,
While squirrels served pines and soup in a shed.

But one day the sky sent a postcard of rain,
Signed by a breeze from the mushroom terrain.
Then Mama Duck swooped from a cumulus cloud,
and all the ducklings chirped, absurdly loud.

“We love you, Moose Mum!” then gave her a hug,
and a necklace of gum from a raccoon’s tree rug.


Now legends say in the forest of blue,
babysitters have hooves and hearts too.

FUN

Funny things happen when you least expect them.
                                    Usually involving a cat.
                                     Napping on your face.

Achoo

The sickeningly sweet perfume irritated his nose
That flirty scent of fake flowers, imitation rose
Lingered in his nostrils too long, what a tease!
It tickled, he could not help but to sneeze.

Read wonderful funny poetry on the following sub-topics: adults, birthday, christmas, friends, friendship, graduation, kids, life, love, rhyme, school, silly, teachers and more.

• Short Funny Poems
• Famous Funny Poems
• Best Funny Poems
• Read Funny Poems
• Long Funny Poems
• Funny Quotes

Poems Related to Funny

absurd, amusing, bizarre, cracks me up, curious, entertaining, hilarious, hysterical, joke, joking, knee slapper, ludicrous, mysterious, playful, ridiculous, side splitting, silly, slapstick, strange, unusual, weird, whimsical, witty