Funny Poems That'll Make Your Day & Make You Laugh

The Pet I Never Had (a conceit) by Russ Dodson (c) 1968. 2025 I've never had a unicorn because I couldn't catch one And I know no virgin maid whom I could send to fetch one ...

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Name of hardship to life’s journey we gave, For means that help move on, money we gave. To loose change that’s today money the least, What else? As a worthless penny we gave. That which never if ever opened mouth, To dumb mirror, nickname dummy we gave. To love’s first journey of sweet memories, Yea, you guessed it right: moon’s honey...

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I poop every morning after a Pizzelle slathered in Nutella it is nine am in Italy and not a good time to eat mortadella I poop after lunch after eating pizza with spicy pepperoni it is twelve o'clock and way too early to eat my macaroni I poop in the evening after my pasta al forno with...

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There once was an old man we called Harry That felt all animals were quite scary When the black bear stood tall He did not move at all Cause the bear was chasing his friend Larry ...

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Wait. To you, she's “La Lopez”. To me, “Jen”, always. Doyenne of “Anaconda”. A date, indeed! You’d have me narrate the gravamen, say how it was? She was a ten. Great, she seemed. Or perhaps an eight. But never again! Well, she doesn’t like real men. Cheapskate, too. I’ll tell you straight, it all went bandy when, as our train pulled out...

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My heart lies drowned in its own pool of blood— Let your care secure me from life’s flood, From my life, sweetness has just taken flight, Let your love come to my rescue tonight. My flower vase has long remained unfilled; All my heart’s desires stay unfulfilled. Let not your soothing care depart my life— Please save my soul—say yes, become my...

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I’m just a cow chewing my cud if a bull, I could be a stud reincarnated I could be something different but lazy I’ll choose pig, just lay in...

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There was a player on our team named Rick He hit third and was really a great stick When on base, he made a strange face He thought he could steal any base Another out, he was slow as a brick ...

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How I hate it when they call me a clown, Yet I can't help but make people laugh. It comes unbidden, needing no invitation — As though a trove of jokes is placed in my mouth. Often I try to bridle my face and talk tough, But when a flume of gloom drowns spirits deep down, Then my sense of humour...

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PEACE OF MIND left hurt and wounded by my own actions, yeah you started it but i didnt have to go there, i shouldve just minded my business, ignored the situation, but i didnt, i couldnt bite my tongue, i couldn’t refute the anger you sent me in shockwaves, words that i shouldve said but i didnt, words that i shouldnt of said...

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This feeling is complacent, it just doesn't feel adjacent, too much or to little, reciprocation is unrealistic, your stupid but unforgettable, unattainable and unavailable, there's a bond hard to break, I want to escape, but isn't that a mistake? We could’ve been something just as much as we were nothing, you were a boy but I...

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[Verse 1] You're so incredible, the most amazing man. I'm taken to new heights of pleasure with the touch of your hand. There will never be another man in my life who compares. Your eyes, your smile... no one as perfect anywhere. I will never forget, or stop loving you... Well would ya lookie here, my dear… I can lie too! [Chorus] ...

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This limerick is about a clown, who when shopping in a nearby town. A mother with small boys, said his giant shoe made too much noise. Shoeless he shopped while tip toeing around. ...

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The Missing Ouija Board An Unholy Whodunnit in Verse I summoned ghosts at midnight’s glare, At Cemetery Gate—with snacks to spare. We were just spelling “B-U-R-I-E-D” when—Zap! The Ouija Board vanished... like a ghost on a gap. Who stole my Ouija Board from cemetery?! Was it the undead... or Karen...

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There lives a gentleman from Luff Who walks everywhere in the buff His weeny is teeny He calls it his winky A stump that can't fill a cream puff. Ladies would be left in despair But he didn't really care He got what he wanted Frustrated, they taunted And decided give him a scare. They tied him to an 'lectric chair Placed electrodes on you know...

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