What was I writing again, oh nothing Poems leading nowhere

There is enough pain in poetry for lessons Others words means I can glimpse the future Tiredness has taken me over, I'm forgetful Soothing lullabies are sung to me I could be rocked gently to sleep Perhaps I was silly? Should I align to silly? If I do, all difficult decisions are taken away And I'll be able to rest I am so so tired I can solve it all ******** What happens when you're still But feel like bottled screams When your memory plays tricks Just disappears the facts ******** I'm fiction I don't recognise myself Not through your eyes or mine So just quietly I Seek to discover Incantations seems to create me People wish me into forms Place magic words around me Transfixed they describe the me they created They can see it, there is no lie But I don't see it I don't know who steals souls As we astrally project ****** Utter something I urge myself Have something to say I should sleep Existing in the late night Is bad news ******* I glimpsed something in a dream That made me shudder Knowledge, awakened The pitch in a song Written words in my writing A voice that said "I told you" It was just moments ago But it's gone I'm awake now, all my hair curled Some kind of fever dream I'm sure the world stopped spinning I was separated from The intake of breath by a glass screen Being frightened didn't matter It was knowing there was a cross roads And I'd hit three points Memory told me Now I'm cold On the outside of the dream Unsure what nighttime this reality is Mare, night mare Tears spring to eyes My head is bowed so far forward Contemplation The curls quiver and shake As does my breath I'm distanced from the dream Or the track My feet touch the ground