Tougher To Look At --- But Safer To Date

Brody McGregor, who’d all of us fig’red fer single, come struttin’ into the pub, all slickered up like a man fit to bury…an’ fairly well knowed fer ‘is smile - Strolled to the bar like a man on a mission, who had him a reason in mind, complete unaware of the bloke in the room that ‘is “reason” were certain to rile. Posed at the end of the bar were a beauty that all o’ Killarney knew well. Twenty years old --- the face of an angel --- an’ eyes...a deep emerald green, Shannon O’Grady had just enough freckles, an’ just the right color o’ hair, to leave a man speechless, an’ thinkin’ her easily the pertiest he’d ever seen. Now…Shamos O’Connor - a regular patron at Paddy’s, were dartin’ fer beers - when one of ‘is drinkin’ pals gives ‘im a nudge, then nods to ‘im - check out the dude! Weren’t not a man in the place - ‘cept fer Brody - that weren’t full aware of the fact that he an’ O’Connor, who’d spoken fer Shannon, would soon be embroiled in a feud! A strappin’ longshoreman, an’ tougher than nails, O’Connor’d been challenged before fer what ‘e were claimin’ fer bein’ - “his woman” - an’ many had taken a fall Fer plightin’ their troth fer what any young feller’d‘ve give up ‘is drinkin’ to wed, while dandy young Brody - all mannered an’ perty - would likely be killed in a brawl! The whole place went quiet when dandy McGregor done pulled out a fist full o’ dough, then turns to the barkeep - orders a beer - plus a jigger o’ Jack on the rocks - An’ starts to unload on the guy by explainin’ the purpose fer why he’d come in…“I’d give a fiver - fer ten minutes lovin’ ---- as long as she ain’t got the pox! “It don’t really matter how perty they are when yer doin’ the deed - in the dark. As long as they’re breathin’ - an’ twenty or more - I’m happy to give ‘em a chance.” Then…spottin’ the beautiful Shannon O’Grady…he strode to the end o’ the bar, an’…grinnin’ a-big’n, said…“Yer awful perty...fer you...I would pay in advance!” Shamos, meanwhile - as a winner at dartin’…come waltzin’ up next to the gal, twisted in tight twixt her an’ McGregor…the two o’ them now - face to face, Then - starin’ ‘im down - he orders a whiskey, an’ pays without lookin’ away, an’ everyone knowed it were gonna get ugly when Shamos done - cut to the chase! “The truth o’ the matter,” O’Connor explains, “is that…you just insulted my girl!” Then turnin’ to Shannon says, “Don’t worry, darlin’…this feller’s hittin’ the road!” Then, facin’ McGregor again, he continues, “So…put up or shut up…ya’ dork!” But whether young Brody had qualms about losin’ a fight o’ this sort never showed. Perty dern close to a - nose-to-nose standoff…the two of ‘em put up their dukes, an’ Shannon - fer smellin’ the tension - run off…to avoid bein’ winged in the fray, When Paddy, the barkeep, whipped out a shotgun an’ laid down the law when ‘e growled, “The price fer repairin’ whatever you’d booger, lads…ain’t one I’m willin’ to pay!” With every last soul in the pub sittin’ quiet, the two slowly softened their glares. Shannon come runnin’ to Shamos’s side an’ caressed ‘im...fer riskin’ the fight. Paddy returned to ‘is brass handled tappers…an’ Brody - now filled with despair - learned that the gals who ‘re --- tougher to look at --- ‘re safer to date ------ an’ that ain’t right!