The Night Rowdy's Girlfriend Saved His Life

There were half a dozen people in the tavern when it happened, and most of us were sober so we'll swear to what we saw. Rusty Tuscadero threw a shot glass full o' bourbon on Rowdy's gal, but truth be told...that's not what made him draw. Antagonizing Rowdy into goin' for his pistol was Rusty's soul intention, as they'd never got along, An' 'spite the fact his - little bit o' fluff - was barely hit...Rowdy's really strong belief that - wastin' whiskey's wrong Got 'im all but spittin' mad, and - once the group had scattered - glarin' back at Tuscadero, here's 'bout what he said: “You've been buggin' me for years. Ain't nothin' I'd like more than seein' you an' every other Tuscadero dead! “Wettin' down a gal with water's not that big-a-deal...but wastin' whiskey, far as I'm concerned's, another thing!” Then givin' an empty beer mug to the barkeep he explained, “Kill the box...count to ten...then - give this mug a fling. “When it hits floor an' shatters...if this walkin' doo-doo ain't hightailed it outta here...I'm pullin' on the fool!” All the while, Rusty'd sat there, grinnin' ear to ear...excitedly anticipating he and Rowdy's duel. Obediently the barkeep flung the mug across the room, but just before it hit the floor, the gal who'd took the shot Whipped a 2-barrel derringer from out o' where she kept it, hidden beneath her corset, and then - right there on the spot - Pumped a couple slugs into the gut of Tuscadero - who'd not so much as got a chance to draw his gun, of course, And - as he died - he told the lady...“You're damn hard to look at! Before I'd bed a dog like you...I swear...I'd kiss my HORSE!”