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The Big Red Train

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Poem Originally Published: 2022

Revamped and republished: 8th June 2025


I thought I'd give this (once deleted and now revamped) oldie an airing. The incorrect spelling is deliberate of course..the world through the eyes of a child.


my teecher liked my pikture of a train i drawed in skool she sed she liked it lots and lots and i was very glad i showd it to my best frend who then sed it woz so cool that i woz on a train one day and with my mum and dad and wen we started off the sun was hot and in the sky and i sat by a window on the train to see owtside i saw a man wave to me from a brige as we zoooomed by and then i saw a big field that lukd red and very wide and then i saw a red horse in that feeld wen we went slow he must have been so hot with that red coat along his bak and wen we stopped becuz the train was broke and cudnt go the horse had run away and maybe got onto the track we had to clime down from the train just like the pleeceman sed and he woz old and had bald hair but he woz nice and kind he told my dad that there was somethink on the lines ahed and then the peepul said we had to follow them behind and wen i drawed that pikture of that train next day at skool i did not draw the horse becuz i could not but i tried but i cullerd in the red stuff that i saw in a big pool that woz next to that man from the brige wen he waved jumped and died.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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Date: 6/8/2025 1:03:00 PM
WOW!!! What a creative write/story you have here. What a sad ending. "Good Luck" if for a contest. I wish you would write more. Have a lovely/fun day writing away...............
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Gary Radice
Date: 6/8/2025 1:19:00 PM
Thanks Paula. It's a little different to my normal writes so I appreciate your comments. It's not for any contest but thanks anyway. Cheers - Gary
Date: 6/8/2025 9:20:00 AM
Dear Gary, wow! Your poem, written through the eyes of a child, is exceptional, captivating and heartbreaking. The simplicity of the language and the deliberate misspellings bring me into the child's mind where I view the scene with ease. Your last couplet relays the feeling of a child grappling with what was seen in the simple way that children navigate negative experiences in life.. your poetic emotive finesse shines, my inspiring poet friend. Please don't delete this profound piece. It's a fav for me! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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Gary Radice
Date: 6/8/2025 1:08:00 PM
Hi Susan. Believe me when I say comments like yours - from such an esteemed poet as yourself - are very much valued. This is one of those poems of mine that I have never been 100% happy with so your words are very reassuring. Maybe now I need to stop tinkering with it, step back from it and leave it to stand as it is. PS: I'd love to see what AI would make of it. :) Cheers - Gary
Date: 6/8/2025 6:54:00 AM
Oh to see the world through the eyes of a child, when every adventure has them beguiled. Love the poem and the misspelt words… Beryl
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Gary Radice
Date: 6/8/2025 12:21:00 PM
Thank you Beryl. When I originally wrote this I was in two minds about the structure. I was concerned that the misspelling might make it too hard to read and / or upset the flow of things so it's great to read your comments. Thanks again. Cheers - Gary

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