The Ballad of Villonia Beebe, Part 1
When Villonia Beebe was a baby of three,
She got it in her head to trim the Christmas tree.
She lit all the pretty candles,
Tossed the lighter away,
Dad and mother, sister, brother
Never saw Christmas Day.
Nine years went by, she bloomed, and when Villonia was twelve,
She got a yen for French and Greek and so decided to delve.
When her language teachers asked her
What she wanted to do,
Villonia taught those profs some things
The French and Greeks never knew.
She went "around the world" with lots of guys, but at age thirty-two
She thought to get herself a steady man was what she should do.
She tried out Toms, and Dicks, and Harrys,
And then settled, in due course,
For a handsome hunk named Homer,
Dumb but hung like a horse.
They lived as wife and husband then for sixty-four years,
A life of trials and tribulations, lots of laughter, lots of tears.
Homer made and sold corn "likker"
From a still up in the hills,
And she sometimes turned a trick or two
Just to help pay the bills.
The lovebirds made their minds up when they turned ninety-five
That they would live to be the oldest couple alive.
But time and sex and destiny
Tend to play funny tricks,
Hunky Homer kicked the bucket
At a neat ninety-six.
Villonia's all alone again like when she was three,
She's outlived every one of her friends and family.
As she sits and sips and waits her turn,
One reflection seems to calm her,
When she's found she'll be so full of 'shine,
They won't bother to embalm her.
Copyright © Jim Slaughter | Year Posted 2018