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SPIDERS we can beat them

Have you crushed a spider lately - and left it in a pile,
And thought that you could leave it there - and go back in a while?
Then, on returning to the spot - to get it with a tissue,
And if like me – you found it GONE - we've really got an issue.

Could they be getting stronger - as I pressed with all my weight,
And it looks just liked I’d crushed it - but if acting, it was great.
It looked the part, except for blood - no screaming in my ear,
But laid there waiting patiently - for me to disappear.

I think the only thing that saves them - is the pattern on our shoe,
They’ve seen our souls have heavy treads - and know what to do.
For when our foot comes crushing down - they quickly form a shape,
That sees them safely in the gaps - and once more they escape.

It's either that, or they've evolved - into a stronger bug.
Who’ll one day soon, will grab your foot - and grip it in a hug.
They’ll lift you smartly in the air - and twirl you like a weed,
Then chuck you down the stair case - as they listen to you plead.

Then off to build a cobweb - that could catch a jumbo jet,
Or to trap a passing stallion - like it’s in a football net.
Or, is the answer to our prayers - to wear shoes flat and wide,
With smooth yet gripping bottoms - that leave nowhere left to hide.

So use your loaf and be prepared - and have a “crush rag” handy,
To squeeze them till you feel the pop - and make their legs go bandy. 
Though still the chance they’ve got real strong - so you should take some care,
Else, when you try to close your rag - they'll grab you by the hair.

Arghhhhh, I also bet they'll have a friend - who'll come out of the garden,
And you’ll have to bash them with a rock - make sure you choose a harden.
And finally, when home alone - best not to take a chance,
Be careful putting music on - I've heard, they frigging dance!!

© Dennis East

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Date: 11/28/2018 10:02:00 PM
Brilliant! This is so genius, and very relatable. I, personally, like to free the spiders back outside, but I do enjoy watching others in their attempts to crush their worst fears. This poem brings some fun memories to mind. Thanks. ~ KR Wonder
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Date: 11/28/2018 6:32:00 AM
Hi Mary, so nice of you to give me a shout. I know just what you mean about spiders - they are one of the main reasons that I am putting off a trip to Australia (them and snakes). You should take a quick look at my poem "Spiders in the Bath" too - as I have found a really neat way (though messy) way of dealing with them. Have a great Christmas and stay lucky, Best, Dennis xx
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Date: 10/18/2018 4:33:00 AM
Dennis, you have touched on an atavistic fear in many of us (with the exception of my father, who would pick up big hairy ones nonchalantly while the rest of the family screamed hysterically) with great inventive humour. Well done.
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Date: 9/24/2018 7:12:00 AM
This poem is my favorite-ist poem in a long time Dennis!
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Dennis East
Date: 9/24/2018 10:59:00 AM
Hi Caren - so nice of you to say so, I'm very chuffed you like it.XX
Date: 9/19/2018 9:08:00 AM
ha! this is wonderful, dennis! the rhyme is perfect and i really like where you've let your imagination take you...
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Dennis East
Date: 9/24/2018 11:02:00 AM
Hello again Ilene, sorry that it has taken this long for me to find you and you kind comments. Hope that you are keeping well - I must catch up with your latest works. Take care XX