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Rewrite of a shorter piece

Image result for knight in rain

~ For Dad - some heroes don't wear a cape - I miss you dearly. ~ There stood upon a trodden sod A knight-in-armor, steed and rod Devoted, whole, to queen and god Cold, rusting in the shadows The darker, keening shadows Oh statues built for men who find Far weaker hearts of grit and mind Than men like this, the rarest kind Oft' swallowed by the shadows Self-righteous, hasty shadows Oh my mistakes were dearly bought For trials and truces, plainly taught Paid for excuses, veiled and wrought And swallowed by the shadows Those doubting, dusty shadows Oh pedestals, bright, stand erect The plaques and badges of respect All kept to shine thru time's neglect So swallowed by the shadows The misty, trembling shadows I held this man far o'er the rest Tho' medals never graced his chest And through intent, took second best His work amidst the shadows The humble, hidden shadows From birth to here I ached inside To earn the blossom of his pride Yet now those wilted petals hide To seed, deep in the shadows The blistered, barren shadows Oh life and love bear such a cost I wander, now, thru threshes, lost Paths and pities, burnt and tossed All swallowed by the shadows The horrid ... gasping shadows. ~ 1st Place ~ in the "Your Best December Poem" Poetry Contest, John Hamilton, Judge & Sponsor. ~ 1st Place ~ in the "Memorial Of A Loved One" Poetry Contest, Chantelle Anne Cooke, Judge & Sponsor.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 8/13/2020 9:46:00 AM
"For trials and truces, plainly taught". I know full well the two-edged sword of a father-son relationship, from both sides now. The respect and the longing for closeness often clash, with trials and truces the inevitable outcome. Your shadows cast a haunting refrain and provide that poetic motif that holds it all together. Rhyme and cadence are so carefully crafted (as always), as is the heart and soul of this very moving tribute to your father. You are a remarkable poet, my friend ~ John
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Date: 5/24/2020 12:07:00 AM
Spectacular tribute, Gregory. Love it.
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 5/24/2020 2:30:00 AM
Thank you very much, Line - so appreciated! :o)
Date: 5/20/2020 2:17:00 PM
Hello Gregory R. Berden, A great poem you created. Congratulations. Eeeenjoy your day my friend.
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Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 5/21/2020 2:30:00 PM
Hello Gregory R. Berden, I am glad that you had fun creating this poem. Enjoy this day my friend
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 5/21/2020 10:30:00 AM
Thank you so much, Darlene, I'm pleased you enjoyed my poem - it was an enjoyable write! Blessings, My Friend! :o) <3
Date: 12/27/2019 12:24:00 AM
Congratulations...
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 1/26/2020 6:13:00 AM
Thank you kindly, Pashang! :o)
Date: 12/26/2019 6:48:00 PM
Congratulations on your top win, Greg:-) This is stunning, top to bottom!
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 1/26/2020 6:13:00 AM
That's very kind of you, Sir Edward, thank you so much! :o)
Date: 12/26/2019 5:14:00 PM
Greg congrats on your top win!;)
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 1/26/2020 6:12:00 AM
Thank you very much, Brenda! :o) <3
Date: 12/26/2019 3:41:00 PM
So Greg, you were smart to enter this one, you knew I loved it, congrats on a very well deserved top win!
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 1/26/2020 6:12:00 AM
Thank you, my friend, this placement means a lot to me, as does this poem ... there is much I'm saying and much I'm not, thought what I'm not saying may speak loudest. Blessings, My Friend! :o)
Date: 12/19/2019 2:50:00 PM
These words are so complete in their portrayal and intention. A most exquisite and meaningful read. Love it so much! Lonna
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/19/2019 9:42:00 PM
Oh, that's such a very sweet comment, Lonna, and I thank you so much for taking the time to read this extended piece ... it is very special to me for obvious AND not-so-obvious reasons - my dad was an extraordinary man, not so much in the ways that carry medals or podiums, but in character and kindness. Blessings, my friend! :o) <3
Date: 12/15/2019 8:36:00 AM
Congrats on another great win G, a deserving one being recognized!
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John Hamilton
Date: 12/17/2019 9:47:00 AM
Sir John of Hamilton...lol...you crack me up!!
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/16/2019 10:47:00 PM
That's very kind of you Sir John of Hamilton - much appreciated, Bro! :o)
Date: 12/15/2019 6:41:00 AM
Wow!! Now that is how to write a poem. Exquisitely penned, so deep and heart felt. Excellent!! Best wishes...Ron
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/16/2019 10:46:00 PM
This is such a kind comment, Ronald, and one that is highly appreciated - blessings and thanks to you, my friend! :o)
Date: 12/14/2019 7:26:00 PM
Sometimes our parents become our harshest critics because they want so badly for us to succeed and possibly not make the same mistakes they may have made. These lessons help us in the future. I can relate to this wonderful poem that has so much depth. It deserves its place at the top. Congratulations Greg! Mele Kalikimaka! xxoo
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:12:00 AM
That is all very true, Connie, and I agree wholeheartedly ... it's easy to look back and judge, and I'm trying to just see love right now - to let the rest go. Many thanks and blessings to you, Dear friend - I pray you are well! :o) <3
Date: 12/14/2019 3:53:00 PM
A brilliant poem. Its aesthetic beauty is so bright (despite the dark shades of the narrative), that a reader is physically pleased to read it. This sort of pleasure is rare. Congrats, Gregory.
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:10:00 AM
Thank you so very much, Kurt, your opinion is an important one to me, and I'm so pleased you liked this one! Blessings, My Poet Brother! :o)
Date: 12/14/2019 2:26:00 PM
Wow, this is has an incredible depth. Well done :)
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:09:00 AM
Many kind thanks to you, Amy, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Blessings, Friend! :o) <3
Date: 12/14/2019 10:06:00 AM
Congratulations, Gregory. Magnifique! Panagiota Romios
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:08:00 AM
Thank you so kindly, Panagiota - blessings! :o) <3
Date: 12/14/2019 8:44:00 AM
What a wonderful poem, Gregory. I felt as if I were reading from a classic poetry book. Congratulations on your first place win. I just had to fave this poem so I can read it often. Hugs. Janece
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:08:00 AM
Oh, that's very kind of you, Jan, and I thank you so much for the sweet comments. Blessings and the best holidays to you, Dear Poet! :o) <3
Date: 12/14/2019 2:04:00 AM
Congrats on your winning poem Greg
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:07:00 AM
Thank you so much, Gergory! :o)
Date: 12/13/2019 9:01:00 PM
such a wonderful tribute to your father Greg...Congratulations on your well deserved first place win... blessings and hugs
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:07:00 AM
Thank you so very much, Sandra, your kind comments are greatly appreciated. Blessings and happy holidays! :o) <3
Date: 12/9/2019 10:43:00 AM
Loved this write G, the rhyme scheme is very appealing and of course your inimitable style shines through. A beautiful tribute to your father, you are miles ahead of me in showing respect for our progenitor. (I'm still trying but failing in that regard)
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:06:00 AM
Thank you, Brother. I think I'm down to bare bones when it comes to that ... holding his hand for hours while he gasped and struggled, and watching him die, burned away all the pain and neglect, at least for a while. I have nothing left right now but love and loss. Still wandering in the night, but the emotions are simple right now - just sad. Hang in there, Buddy. <3
Date: 12/9/2019 3:22:00 AM
" men like this, the rarest kind" - oh, yes, and what a romantic poem this is! You always impress me, Gregory.
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:02:00 AM
Thank you so very much, Caren, your kind comments are greatly appreciated. Blessings and happy holidays! :o) <3
Date: 12/9/2019 12:14:00 AM
A wonderful poem, Gregory! I loved this touching tribute. Good luck in the contest!
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Gregory R Barden
Date: 12/15/2019 3:02:00 AM
Thank you so very much, Evelyn, your kind comments are greatly appreciated. Blessings and happy holidays! :o) <3