On Filling Voids - 1st Half

Here's WHY, This is, as indicated, the 1st HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd half had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No other way I could manage to make it happen. NOTE: It will be - or has been - posted as a 2-part AUDIO as well, due to its length. The doorbell rang at 6 a.m., and I’d been fast asleep, so, naturally, the butt-head at my door wouldn’t be being fair to act surprised if…when I answered…I blew up and gave the guy what for! I was really fired up…cursin’ like a sailor all the way from where I’d lain asleep, stumbling down the stairway to the door that I was sure - when opened - would reveal a total creep! Glancing ‘cross the family room, spotting Grandad’s musket hanging o’er the hearth, a twisted thought crept into my angry mind and I was actually tempted to disregard some lessons I’d been taught - Like: “Jumping to conclusions often makes one out a fool”, and, “Look before you leap”, among the group, and…given I was sleep-deprived…I was now prepared to nuke the fool that occupied my stoop! I opened up the door so fast it actually hit my knee, and as I stood there, wincing from the blow, I was glaring angrily straight into the eyes of someone that I knew I didn’t know! As I quickly scanned the gal, I saw she had an envelope trapped between her elbow and her hip, but I was taken aback a bit to see her frightened eyes, and, looking close…the quivering of her lip, And hear her say, “I really hate to bother you this way…and I can understand your being mad… but assuming your name’s Joe Labelle…and what I’ve learned is true…you, without a doubt, sir…are my dad! “Mom and I slid off the road a couple months ago. She was killed…but just before she died… knowing how forlorn I was to ‘ve never known my father, she, at last, admitted that – she’d lied! “Claiming you’d been killed in Vietnam - before my birth, initially, was what she’d felt was best… but having never married…and with me her only child…I was so relieved when she confessed. “I brought along some photographs, and - faded as they are - I can easily tell that you’re the guy talking to - or kissing - her in almost every one…and every time I look at them...I cry! “And almost every picture has a caption on its back…and most of those that do say…‘Me and Joe’.” I stood there for a moment in a daze, then - glancing down - I saw the stoop was inches deep with snow. “Come on in,” I softened up, “you’ll catch your death of cold. I’ll make a pot of coffee, and we’ll chat.” At first I thought I’d play along…try to mess her up. Not the trusting kind… I smelled a rat! But then I suddenly noticed that her brilliant emerald eyes...and a girl that I’d once dated’s...were the same! So much so that - even if she hadn’t dropped the hint…I’d have easily guessed her mother’s name. Still, racing through my mind were thoughts of just exactly who this girl was going to tell me was her mom, so I began defensively - clearly understanding…she’d come - no matter what - to drop a bomb! “I was on the shy side in my teens,” I opened up. “There’ve only been two women in my life with whom I have been “intimate”! The first was long ago……the only other one had been my wife. “Sadly, after trying all known means to help conceive, we discovered, fairly early on, that having children of our own just wasn’t in the cards, which caused a lot of grief for me an’ Dawn. “Then, a couple years ago…when cancer took her life…it also took the only chance we’d had to possibly - adopt a child…and…as I’ll not remarry…any chance for me to be a dad! “And the ‘long ago girl’ suddenly moved away in‘62,” I went on…“before our senior year…” but then - before I spoke again - she interrupted me…‘cause that last fact was all she’d had to hear! “My mother’s name was Cindy Lee,” she forcefully announced, “and I was born in 1963. And based upon what you just said - and what I’ve learned - I swear…the child you thought you’d never have…is me! “Minor injuries I received the night we wrecked the car have clouded details given by my mom, but three that I remember are…her asking my forgiveness…for telling me you’d died in Vietnam… “And that - like many girls back then - she’d kept a secret diary…starting as a thirteen year old kid… and - fin’ly making up her mind to let me know the truth - she told me where, and why she kept it hid. “Once a month she made a note confirming where you live, and - since I’m here - I’d say it’s up to date. Another six or seven entries…made in ‘62…are tagged with little stars to indicate “What I’d guess were - ‘special nights’ - when ‘special things’ occurred! One on which, of course…I was conceived! It also tells the reason why her fam’ly moved away…which I’m aware is not what you’ve believed! “Her folks were sure that if their friends discovered she was pregnant, it - without a doubt - would ruin her youth. And moving someplace far away - before she got too big - was what they chose to do to hide the truth. “Naturally, they hated you - for messing up Mom’s life - and made her swear to never let you know… but meeting their demands, I guarantee you, broke her heart…and more than once I heard her tell them so! Now be sure to read the 2nd half, it's a pretty cool piece -