My Poem About Nothing and Everything

the chilling winter breeze creeps through my window another season has passed and got no progress to show same thoughts same habits same mentality same person same insanity god chooses his toughest soldiers to fight his hardest battles he picked me when i was just fourteen endless wars since then so numb i may as well be on morphine you died when i was just thirteen wish you could've saw me, now you would be ashamed of the man i've become im doing all the things i promised i would've never done. I really, I truly believe that sadness is addicting I feel like I work better when something is missing are you hearing what I say? is anything hitting? Im tired of speaking up then taking it back claiming that Im 'tripping' This goes out to you. the one reading this. the only person who can put up with my . I hope you cant find comfort In the that I write because even I know two wrongs don't make a right and Im just trying to find an end to my fight. This isn't a poem anymore its a cry for help I wanted nothing more then to get better and to focus on myself it was like my crown jewel but that went out the window and all my went downhill and I find it crazy after everything that my mind Kills me and its from the inside out and im just picking up the pieces figuring it out. thats about enough keeping it loaded next to my hand for now