Make Yourself a - Better Deal

This piece is based on a true series of events -- First time me an’ Jessie seen him - walkin’ in from nowheres - couldn’t o’ been a stranger sight - as each of us recalls, But I’d been kinda lookin’ for a kid about his sort for doin’ chores like greasin’ mills an’ cleanin’ out the stalls. The road that he come in on was a thirteen mile blacktop! Closest town was Abilene, so that was quite a walk! I remember thinkin’, ‘this young man is either dumb, or full o’ TRY to come this distance just to have a talk!’ The hat that he was wearin’ pret’ near covered up his ears. Figured it was likely one some feller’d throwed away, But most the rest of what I saw was close enough to “cowboy” to let me choose to give the kid a chance to make his play. “Howdy, son,” I started off, “gonna be a hot one. Come on up an’ grab yerself a rocker full o’ shade.” “Thank you, sir,” he countered, as he slowly climbed the steps. “I’m lookin’ around fer somethin’ in - the bronco-bustin’ trade! “Truth is, I don’t actually know the ins-an’-outs o’ ranchin’, but I learn fast, an’ I‘m as tough as twenny-penny nails. Got this way by ridin’ skids from early morn ta sundown, an’ won my share o’ trophies for - the tallest stacks o’ bales!” Starin’ right straight at him, I said, “Sonny…ridin’ skids don’t come close to what it’s like to bust a horse at all! I been breedin’ buckin’ stock fer nigh on thirty years, An’ I hire on a couple o’ twisters every other fall, “But’ there’s no way a kid like you can break a two-year old! Now…if ya’ ain’t real picky, I’d be glad to help ya’ out. We’ll teach ya’ what ya’ need to know, an’, son…you ain’t alone... there’s lots o’ stuff that lots o’ fellers don’t know lots about. “But pardner - if I’m readin’ ya’ right - to learn our ‘ins-and-outs’ - yer full prepared to take me up on any job I’ve got.” “You’re close to right,” the kid replied, “I’m full prepared for some, but here’s a few - I’ll tell ya’ right up front - for which I’m not. “The fact is - I’ve got allergies to horse hair - and manure, so cleanin’ stalls is somethin’ I’m afraid I just can’t do! And when it comes to heights - above ten foot, I tend ta puke - so greasin’ mills is also out. I’m sorry…but it’s true. “An’ three more things I struggle with - because I’m carpa-tunneled - are: saddle-soapin’…groomin’ stock…and ‘specially…makin’ fence!” But please don’t think - because of these few things that I can’t do - that givin’ me a chance to learn the ropes don’t make no sense. “I never leave a bunkhouse ‘til my bed is made up neat, an’ when it’s time to take a break, or eat…I’m never late. I’m punctual - I’m courteous - an’ - once I’ve settled in - you’ll quickly see I’m actually worth…above the goin’ rate!” “Hate to say it, son,” I said, “but you don’t sound too temptin’. We don’t pay our hands to make their beds, or eat a meal. When it comes to hirin’ men who’ll likely earn their keep, no offense, young fella, but…I - need a better deal.” The kid stood up and reached behind his back, produced a phone, glared at me - while he was tappin’ buttons with his thumb - “A friend o’ mine’s been waiting ‘bout a mile out,” he snarled, “an’ - seein’s this ain’t workin’ out - I texted him to come.” “Ain’t my fault,” I countered, “you can’t do what I need done… an’ I ain’t ‘bout to hire a dude who can’t do what’s required. A ranch hand needs the will to work…which, clearly, you ain’t got. You’ve likely quit a ton o’ jobs. More likely yet - been fired!” The pansy-assed imposter left the porch and sauntered off as, right up to the bunkhouse walk, a new Ferrari rolled! An’ as they sped away I thought, ‘Now, that poor kid’s a loser.’ An’ who would argue…based upon the tale that I just told? But - forty-three months later, as I sorted through my mail, an’ ripped the paper wrapper from my “Rodeo Magazine”, There stood - Mr. carpal tunnel - allergies and all! The caption read --- “Laverl LeDoux wins BIG in Abilene”! The center section, packed with photos, told of how he’d won trophy after trophy at the huge “Tri-County Fair”. I couldn’t believe the kid had actually qualified to enter - an’ then gone on to win the whole damn thing…especially there! The article was thorough, and he’d told it like it was, explaining how, in younger days, he’d tried the ‘loser’s’ life. Lying, when he’d try for jobs - ‘bout what he couldn’t do - an’ claimin’ how - because of how he’d been - he’d lost his wife! Now they’re back together. He’s a major cowboy star! When asked what he gives credit to for having such appeal, His answer was, “A foreman once refused to give me work because, he said, to fill the spot, he’d need a - better deal.’ “From that day on I’ve strove to make myself a - ‘better deal’, learning all I could each day…while working my way up. And every prize I’ve won since then belongs, in part, to him… including this here buckle…and especially - this here cup!” PS: I've now got 4 new Audio-CDs - @ 4 1/2 hours each = (62 diversely varied pieces). They’re listed on EBAY - under - “Mark Stellinga Poetry” - or available by simply contacting me at -- mark@writerofbooks.com -- should those of you who enjoy listening to poems as well as reading them - and particularly those of you that travel - care to be so entertained. (We use safe and simple - PayPal) Cheers, Mark