June Park Wedding

The first Sunday of June and a couple are taking their vows loud and audible. The park is ablaze in colorful blossoms – lilacs and roses and pendulous pompoms. The groom is handsome, tall, and virile yet the bride’s face is flushed, is she ill? In fact, if my eyes are to be believed, she’d like to be of something relieved? Ah, yes, I now see the cause of her distress, her waist, it’s too large for her wedding dress! And given the size of her belly it’s obvious she lost her virginity nine months ago. Oh, dear! What’s become of innocence, chastity and decorum? I do believe that were she any bigger, she might put off her vows to deliver.