Jimmy Joe Mcsweeney - Both Audio and Text

Jimmy Joe McSweeney is a long haired, bearded caveman, who lives in West Virginia…in the hills! Tales abound from those who claim they’ve actually heard him howl…to finding gruesome remnants of his “kills.” Some are down right positive that Jimmy is a werewolf, but I, for one, am not convinced he is… Though folks keep findin’ footprints in the woods with giant claws, and everyone’s convinced the tracks are his. The only thing I’ll say is - though his folks are nice to look at - thank God he was their one and only child - ‘Cause all it takes is one quick look to help you understand that Jimmy Joe is crazy…mean…and wild! His face is so repulsive if you saw him you would puke. His hair hangs to his waist. His nose is bent. And people say - to mark the spots where recently he’s hunted - he’ll actually lift a leg and leave his scent! His beard is close to three feet long, and when he stands erect, it actually hangs to well below his hips. And since he never trims his moustache, every time he eats…he has to raise it up to find his lips! All his clothes are camouflaged, and when he roams the woods, the guy - at will - can virtually disappear. They say he moves so stealthily, the noise he makes while hunting is far too faint for all but dogs to hear! Many say that this is why he focuses on dogs, when prospects for his meals become more bleak. And, sure enough - each wintertime - a lot of them go missing, at rates as high as two or three a week! It’s said that when the weather’s nice, he lives on leaves and berries, pocket gophers, possums, snakes, and frogs… But every winter I recall…once all the ponds had frozen…there’d always been a rash of…missing dogs! Sure, I’ve heard the rumor ‘bout the missing cocker spaniel that vanished like a ghost on New Year’s Eve, But whether one regards as true the claim that Jimmy ate it depends upon the version they believe. And just because the preacher’s Lab went missin’ last November - as all the lakes and ponds began to freeze - And then, in March - before the thaw - that rumor went around ‘bout Mrs. Parker’s missing Pekingese, Doesn’t mean that Jimmy Joe is actually eating canines. Though I’ll admit it seems a little weird That Mr. Sheldon’s Border Collie, just before the blizzard, wandered near the woods and…disappeared! And I remember clearly, on a Sunday, last December (when all the lakes and ponds were frozen hard), Some old guy stood up in church and asked the congregation if anyone had seen his St. Bernard, And then some feller hollered out, “McSweeney’s struck again!” But that…to me…don’t really prove a thing, ‘Cause I don’t think it’s fair to get suspicious just for knowin’ a full-growed St. Bernard could last ‘til Spring! Yes, I know, the snakes and toads he finds in warmer weather - by scroungin’ through the woods and ‘round the bogs - Disappear in wintertime…but I just can’t believe that Jimmy Joe McSweeney’s eating dogs! PS: I've now got 4 new Audio-CDs - @ 4 1/2 hours each = (62 diversely varied pieces). They’re listed on EBAY - under - “Mark Stellinga Poetry” - or available by simply contacting me at -- mark@writerofbooks.com -- should those of you who enjoy listening to poems as well as reading them - and particularly those of you that travel - care to be so entertained. (We use safe and simple - PayPal) Cheers, Mark