Im a Soldier

I’m a soldier, reborn from the Battles of the East Conceived by loveless parents Raised by a dysfunctional family. I’ve been betrayed, forgotten, abandoned Several times heartbroken But the dream of becoming a soldier Is the one who kept my head over my shoulders. The chaos takes over my brain The bad memories keep invading my head But I never forgot the fact That with the time, they simply fade away. All over since my childhood I always wanted to hold that rifle Walking in a silent desert with my comrade Nothing else but our duty is really important. The teenage years were tough Lonely, single, without job It took me self-determination To keep such dreams to live on. I’m a soldier, a term of character Is not a muscular body, is not a camo uniform Is a state of struggle, self-confidence and courage Is the willing to sacrifice everything for each other. Devoted and fanatical from young I always knew that there belonged my soul Since 6 years of age, I also looked to other things But nothing but the soldier, remained as just a joke. I haven’t realize what exactly is Maybe the discipline, the training, the guns Or the friendships, but if something is sure Is that the soldier heals every part, of my wounded heart. The civilian life affected me, almost corrupted me But everything was a self-training In order to shape, mold and test my honor and courage So I could became as best as I can. We’ve been through worse But beauty also appeared in our roads Every time we found ourselves alone We just travel to another world. Being affected from our hearts We slowly reflect with our minds Realizing that the past is the shade And the future is the shine. Maybe I can be a fierce warrior But that doesn’t mean, that I can’t love without passion From it, maybe I had ‘enough’ But maybe, I never really had it at all. My living standards are very low I just want to be somewhere I call home If I knock again at my old house I know that no one will receive me at the door. I wonder how much I’ll remain sad I spent most of my time alone But it doesn’t really matter though I realized that I’m at the hands of the Lord. Because there is no Death for my soul If I ever die in a war Our actions strike like the thunder But our names and faces, fade like the smoke. I’m just a soldier, I just followed orders May the Virgin Mary pray for my soul Let the Lord judge me for the Bad and good things that I’ve done. 2018.