If All of the Weird Ones Were Cropped
This piece has a fairly tricky rhyme scheme = a-a-B /c-c-B
If All of the Weird Ones Were Cropped
I was sittin’ alone in a booth in a deli in Cody, Wyoming one day,
When a threesome nearby started talking...and I clearly heard one of them say,
“Me and my wife are amazed
“By the differences found in the ‘animal world’. We’re constantly going to zoos,
And many of those that are literally useless - and ugly as hell...in our views...
Ought to be gradually phased
“Out of existence! Nobody needs them. And regardless of feathered or furred,
Two legged - four legged...on land or in water...the models most widely preferred,
Were gifted a finer design.
“Here are a few of the nicest to look at...and some of the sweetest to hear,
Virtually - “feasts for the eye” - as they say...and a few that are, “treats for the ear”.
At least so according to mine.
“I’ll take the Persian...the Sphynx is all yours...when it comes to our - picking out cats,
And only a fool would own a French Bulldog...their ears are as big as a bats,
and one thing I hate is - big ears!
“And give me a Golden Retriever - I’m good...or an Australian Shepherd - I’m fine,
But among my suggestions for dogs...the Mexican Hairless is not one of mine!
Just seeing them brings me to tears!
“And birds, like the other decisions we make, regardless the size of their beak or their bill,
Vary as greatly as those without feathers...and...some emit screeches...while others...a trill.
Their song is what matters to me,
“Along with their plumage. Compared to a Kestral...or beautiful Mandarin Duck...
Birds like the Screamer, and Jabiru Stork...by any comparison...totally suck!
They’re as ugly as ugly can be!
“Green Headed Tanagers, male Painted Buntings, and male Golden Pheasants are only a few
Of what fills our skies - and our lives - with a beauty like nothing I know of can do.
I think we all know where they’re made.
“And I’ll beat the snot out of anyone’s nose, regardless their gender or culture,
That asks if I’d swap them a Bald Headed Eagle for the likes of a Condor - or Vulture!
Trust me...I’d pass on the trade!
“And oceans, as well, are infested with tyypes we’d be praised by the world for removing!
Here are a few of the worst of the lot, should you feel that my point demands proving.
And right at the top of the list
“Are Stargazers - Anglerfish...both of them pukes...and the homely-as-hell - Goblin Shark!
And being as Catfish...not known to meow...and Dogfish - not known for their bark -
For reasons I seem to have missed -
“Came to be called what they have - I’m confused. They’re different from what you’d expect,
And names that don’t match how an animal looks are misleading...and stupid...CORRECT?
I think it’s stupid as hell!
“A really dumb friend of mine had me convinced that Lionfish let out a roar
To fend off their rivals, that...so he professed...traveled for up to a mile or more!
A belief I would later dispel!
“And don’t forget - insects! No one would argue there aren’t many species of those
That don’t serve a purpose that makes them worthwhile. The bad sort...that everyone knows
Life would be better without.
“Like - Japanese Beetles - termites and gnats...locusts - mosquitoes - and certainly flies.
And I won’t complain...and neither will you...when the last of the cockroaches dies.
That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
? “So wha’da’ya’ say we all get together and skim off the cream o’ the crop,
Then whip up a list of the ones we don’t need...with the worst of the worst at the top,
And work our way down - one by one,
“‘Cause there ain’t a doubt in my mind, if we do...by purging the world in this way...
We’ll earn the thanks of the rest of mankind - and - those yet to come, as our pay,
I’m sure, by the time that we’re done!”
Well...what I’d been eating had totally chilled...my coffee had suffered as well...
And anxious to somehow expose their intention, I privately reached for my cell...
These people had to be stopped!
The world - as it is - to me is an image - that’s not to be altered by “Man”,
And I guarantee that we’d all be as sorry as anyone possibly can -
If all of the weird ones were cropped.
And FYI: I'll be posting a bunch of my AUDIO files over the next few months, most from my 4 new AUDIO-CDs, along with many more text files from my several books of verse. (Only a few CDs and books left - 2-11-21).
Because, as with most poets, it simply depends on the mood I’m in at writing time, my verse, as you’ll discover, varies greatly from lightheartedly comical pieces to meaningfully poignant works. If you happen to like my style, and appreciate the variety, please visit my website’s at - www.writerofbooks.com.
Copyright © Mark Stellinga | Year Posted 2021
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
to post a comment