I Posted It Anyway

Callouses and craters in my skin from the nails scraping and digging through to the inside. never quite reaching always searching always hurting. lungs black and polka dotted with popcorn kernels large enough to fill the void between us. empty vessel to another trying to fill each other, trying to feel the other. only if, and when you smile at the self sabotage crowned my guilty pleasure. love without commitment or certainty, free falling into the thorn bushes grown thick around the walls you put up after your last and you promise you only keep them there cause you think they're pretty. well I think you're pretty. and you think I think too much, I bet if I'd listen for it I'd hear you're voice begging compromise. I've always liked the way you drown out you're conscience. chasing parties till daylight claims way to the world and you plaster your mask so hard to your face you suffocate. I wonder if when he screams your name you hear it, and smile. pulling the puppet strings sewn into my back your pride and joy. Omnis Vir Lupus, our den caved in. maniacal laughter as you pull my legs out from under me and place the weight of your burdens on my chest. I refute the identity given to me, exhausted all material and relationships I gathered long before the day you closed the wounds from the knife in my back with new ones. I love you, and we will never change.