Hurt Heart Hate 2

Journal Entry Forget what I thought we were it was what we could've been.I know i ?n?? up sometimes but I know I'm worth it all.I don't even believe in myself sometimes .but I believed in us.you picked me up.brought me forth.pushed me into the light.I felt enlightened.it was incredible.it was you that believed in me.when everyone else refused.it felt like a fantasy .a dream. It also hurt when I saw you struggle.kept questioning yourself.I felt like dirt not being able to help you.my days felt grey.all I could feel was emotional stress.all my life I was told and thought that I'm nothing more than s?i?.I hid behind a happy face.clinging on a dream a vision of us that it will change for the better.but the dream ended and the nightmare began .its like the sky was falling. I stayed away from everyone. I hid in the corner at the hope that it will all return but the hope faded.I obsessed on it all.I thought that you and I were gonna escaped from it all .leave and just chase the horizon. But here I am watching you leave.but wanted you to stay.I don't know why I trusted you .I'm not disappointed that you let me down I'm disappointed in my self because I let you get too close to me.I gave you all my love and waited for it to amplify on you when I let you in.you said goodbye when I still wanted to try again and again.you gave up when I felt like still going on even with everything that happened.you said I'm way to soft.you said all I do is find differents ways to say the same things.when things went wrong you blamed me.do I really belong here?i feel like a s?i? stain.ive always struggled to find my place.it just breaks my heart