Crimbo Is Coming

CRIMBO IS COMING Crimbo is coming; soon, it will be the mad dash Out with the credit cards, or plain old hard cash Looking for the smelly’s, for that nice pong bath Those funny Crimbo cards, for a good old laugh Aftershave for the lads and, perfume for the gals The extra pressies for the; we’re coming too pals More socks, a scarf, and cap for good old gramps Despite he has got hundreds, he still says thanks Lavender water for nanna, who in old age, hums And Imodium, settle her, when she has the runs Mince pies, turkey and, those so dreaded sprouts Earplugs: for when you’re sick of the kids' shouts Then it’s the mad dash home, ready for xmas eve I am cooking in the kitchen, like, you’d not believe Stuffing the turkey, until it can’t be stuffed, more The folks keep out, they know the mayhem score Hubby is wrapping pressies, while watching the TV While I’m still up to my eyes and totally lost at sea 3 am arrives and at last we head for bed, full of Z’s Oblivious to kids, who are creeping down the stairs Waking to sounds of the kids screams, and shouts I’m off back into the kitchen to cook darn, sprouts Pressies are all over the place and wrappings galore There is such one ‘ell of a mess, on the lounge floor Ready to tuck in, after, we have all said, our graces But: it all was worth it, as I see all their happy faces Pud is served, as we all settle for the Queen's speech Telling us about her family and, how life is all a peach I get to put my feet up, forget all the pots and pans It is wine for me and the lads get stuck into the cans Hubby is in the kitchen, cleaning up all of that mess While I am left, chatting to the; who are you, guest Yus’ Crimbo is coming; as we all, make the last mad dash We got it all: but O' boy, I'm so now out of the cash Indiana Shaw . . .