Bouquet of Clovers

I feel like green flowers. I'm pressed up against glass, pretending I'm just waiting to take the next step forward. Looking at you and waving, saying. "I'll be there in a minute." Haven't you seen the glass? I can't move forward with you. Not with someone like you. It's nice but now my mind is messy. Convinced me to believe in green flowers and purple orangutans. Sure maybe some exist sometimes and some where. Not in my life though. No more happy delusions or friends I can't learn from. I kept telling myself I was triggered because I just needed to grow more but really you're not good for me any more. Clashing, flashing and crashing. Head smacked against each other calling it a hug. You can't love me but not respect me. I want to be loved by those who change and grow. Nurtured by those who let me live how I chose. Your way isn't right for my life. Focus on you, people pleasing isn't love or even kind. It's a self destructive bomb. It comes from insecurity and no happiness can come from that, even, if you're gifting me the world. Loving me for the sake of feeling good, for the sake of feeling worthy to your personal demons. To be in my life you must live up to the highest of expectations... you must love yourself. Create beauty out of pain. Love pain and go to the greatest depths with me. Maybe I just need to stop ing with mammals.