All That Innocence Lent

Suzanne Delaney Avatar Suzanne Delaney - LIFETIME Premium Member Suzanne Delaney - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled All That Innocence Lent which was written by poet Suzanne Delaney. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The poem is below...


All That Innocence Lent

You lavish kindness masked in contempt
White was the color that  innocence lent 

Gorgon guardian of a crown jewel
Safe in a temple that  innocence lent 

A rage of red you wrapped around yourself
Fooled by the touch that innocence lent
 
Sweet lover of a thousand ardent desires
Covered by flowers that an innocence lent

Too late- I hear you whisper, my name
No love- behind a mask that innocence lent

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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Date: 8/3/2016 9:10:00 PM
Hi Suzanne, this is a beautiful poem, but in order for your poem to be a ghazal, there is minimum of 5 couplets for ghazal. If the "that innocence lent" is your refrain or radeef, it is missing in the first half of the first couplet. Also, the rhyming pattern (qaafiyaa) is missing completely. Poetry soup has a great example of ghazal. I have a few as well, you're welcome to check them out.
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Date: 7/31/2016 4:33:00 PM
a sickly sweet innocence perhaps - like drinking a quart of molasses.
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Date: 3/20/2016 11:11:00 AM
An excellent Ghazal, Suzanne. Well written. T.J
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Date: 3/19/2016 7:33:00 PM
An enjoyable read! Light & Love
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Date: 3/16/2016 3:55:00 PM
I really like how you did your ghazal. I really gotta hurry with this one!!
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Date: 3/15/2016 8:31:00 PM
I avoided reading this one, because I assumed it was an entry for my Ghazal contest ... but apparently not so. Engaging poem ... I would not long survive wearing a mask, it's too stressful, working so hard, to be artificial. Being hated for who you are is better than being loved for who you ain't. Well penned, Suz.
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Suzanne Delaney
Date: 3/15/2016 9:57:00 PM
Hi Tim: This was an old Gazhal I wrote. I haven't had time to write one for you yet. The requirement of a rhyming word in each line wasn't met in this one. It is on my To do list when I have time to get it ta done lol SuZ
Date: 3/14/2016 2:16:00 AM
great work! deeply expressed piece, thanks for sharing!
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Suzanne Delaney
Date: 3/15/2016 9:59:00 PM
Thanks Kimberly..most appreciated. SuZ