A Few Words With My Dog

Recently I sat down with my dog Bonzo for a man to dog tête à tête – nothing serious, just a little matter relating to our sleeping arrangements. I pointed out and with utmost tact – Bonzo like many dogs is sensitive to criticism – that while I didn’t mind his sharing my bed, I could no longer suffer his snooring, least of all his foul wind-breaking! He was, of course, surprised at hearing this, his handsome face barely acknowledging (or trying to) what he had just heard me say, his way of denying any recollection of ever doing the one or the other. I was unprepared for this display of denial. But I was resolute; some things have to be aired, if only for the sake of domestic peace. He, I admit, was at a disadvantage, not able to counter in his defense. Yet, by the way he cocked his head from right to left, the way his brows shot up over his soulful eyes, and the way his adorable little face froze in a serious demeanor as if reflecting on what I had just said, I knew instinctively his feelings had been hurt, that my words had been abrasive without meaning to be. It was as if he were pleading: “Why, master, it’s you who snores, not me; and what’s more, it’s so loud I rarely get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep!” Well, on discerning that, I was cut to the quick, speechless; in fact, I had to leave the room lest he see me, a grown man, giving way to tears. Since then, we haven’t said a word to each other, only perfunctory glances, and brief acknowledgements, and warnings mostly on both our parts. Like “get out of my way, you stupid dog” and he: Watch it, you clod, or you’ll step on me. Can’t you see I’m not a carpet!” Or are you blind? Nothing meant with malice, ill-will, or lasting resentment. However, I do know my Bonzo at heart, and he likewise me. And so this unfortunate breach will pass as have all the others. And just as he has always done on many past occasions, so I am confident, as only a father can, that he will come round again and offer me a moving and contrite apology with a generous lick on my forgiving face.