“You will be missed.”
I will, but for how long?
“I can't live without you.”
You will, you'll go on day by day, slowly forgetting me and moving on
“You were so loved.”
You say “loved” in past tense because you can no longer love me
“I pray to god to keep you company up there.”
I'm actually below you, but that’s a conversation for later
“Please wait for me.”
Where else would I go?
“They would want me to move on.”
Who told you that? They lied…
Appetite for Silence
Eats alone, unshaken.
Rejection taps. I do not flinch.
Loneliness taught applause.
Pain forged self-respect and steel calm.
Test me, my mercy turns ruthless.
One date I will always remember
13th of October 1982 is that date
when my great transaction happened
Jesus came to serve me on salvation's plate
My wife Jean was not in the best of health
in the evening, she worsened, so the doctor I called
then rushed her to the hospital to get treated
anxious, I felt my back to the wall
A lovely believer in Christ she was
within a few hours, she so sadly died
I was now alone in this old world
God I knew existed, but His Son I defied
Came home from hospital in much thought
felt deep conviction deep in my heart
knowing my sins will condemn me one day
the gospel says Jesus loves me in every part
This Jesus died on Calvary's cross
shed His precious blood for every sin
come to me to receive my redemption
Christ speaks this: His salvation to win
So that night kneeling at my bed
I asked Jesus to be my saviour
from that day, stuck by me every day
Feeds me with His ever-living bread
06-07-2022
My Lord
Why do I feel like You have abandoned
Me why do I feel like You don’t come aboard
When I ask to be pardoned
Do the sins I commit
Make You turn Your back
On me will I ever meet
The standard You set even when I lack
The ability to do so I pray I fast I sin
Just like anyone with flaws
Just like anyone who wants to win
You over and obey all Your laws
Without You my Lord You know there’s no life
And I can’t even for a sec a day survive
not spaghetti this time, but
noodle alphabet
lovelier than couple love
missing the miso
his boyf wouldn’t let
him purchase –
daft!
After you left,
I found the jar on the kitchen shelf,
lid gone,
its mouth taking in the afternoon.
At four, the window
set a square of sun inside it.
For twenty minutes
the glass looked occupied.
I began keeping that hour clear.
I left the blinds half-open,
moved the chair out of its path,
turned the jar a finger-width
as the sun shifted lower.
Nothing else in the room
received such care.
Soon, I stopped asking
what the jar could keep.
It held only my attention
until the light moved on.
Still, I washed it.
Still, I returned it to the same mark
on the sill.
By winter,
clouds began arriving before I did.
The jar showed me the room
bent through its empty walls:
the table,
the cold tap,
my own hand passing behind the glass.
I put it back on the highest shelf
and stopped waiting for four.
Weeks later, at dusk,
I saw the jar again.
The room had darkened inside it
before it darkened around me.
For once,
I left it where it was
and watched nothing disappear.
You support a mother taking life, protect the bullies dimming lights, defend the men violating Jane Doe’s, vote for someone who make’s million’s anger grow. Yet you say “Abortion is murder,” so are the mother’s actions. Yet you say “it was selfish,” no it was a pathway to freedom. Yet you ask “what was worn?” but that Jane Doe’s life was torn while the wolves only had an assignment while she was living in fear and confinement. Yet you say “He’s making America great,” but he’s also giving the right for children that don’t fit in the standard guide to be harassed, bullied until they can't live anymore. Yet they say "children shouldn't be interesting and into politics," but Politics should NOT be into children in any way, should they? So is life unfair because you can’t get what you want? Or is it unfair because people’s pain are ignored?
Great Uncle was a musician
He chased his dream on a mission
He never penned a song
Folks knew him well down in Nashville
Though music paid no big gas bill
He had true ambition
His songs found a sweet rendition
He played with open admission
His true love was lifelong
John picked his guitar with goodwill
With joy, the music he instilled
Sharing tunes, his mission
To make music his tradition
Spontaneous compositions
If I could string along
I'd play it with my own free will
John Craig showed such a master skill
He strummed strings all day long!
John Craig rode as a musician
With grit and a deep ambition
Just pickin' it along
John would pluck out his chords at will
With six-strings he'd ride and travel
Playing good tunes, headstrong!
He was a slick string technician
A musical aesthetician!
He played for trav'lers all night long
I'm not sure he knew a playbill
His playin' was a sweet earful
John Craig's songs still roll along!
[Even if in my mind!]
Great Uncle was a musician
He chased his dream on a mission
He never penned a song
Folks knew him well down in Nashville
Though music paid no big gas bill
He had true ambition
His songs found a sweet rendition
He played with open admission
His true love was lifelong
John picked his guitar with goodwill
With joy, the music he instilled
Sharing tunes, his mission
To make music his tradition
Spontaneous compositions
If I could string along
I'd play it with my own free will
John Craig showed such a master skill
He strummed strings all day long!
John Craig rode as a musician
With grit and a deep ambition
Just pickin' it along
John would pluck out his chords at will
With six-strings he'd ride and travel
Playing good tunes, headstrong!
He was a slick string technician
A musical aesthetician!
He played for trav'lers all night long
I'm not sure he knew a playbill
His playin' was a sweet earful
John Craig's songs still roll along!
[Even if in my mind!*
Hey, love. I know you see me, we've exchanged a few words, just here and there, but I can't help but see you everywhere. I know you know me, you know what I like, but all we seem to do is fight. Maybe it's because, we both refuse to see, our true feelings really can come to be.
Hey, love, I know you like me, I know it's true, I really am just crushin' on you. I like your laugh, your smile, your voice, I just wish one of us would make that choice. The choice to admit that… just maybe, we could be something more than friends. Are we meant to be together in the end?
Hey, love. You're a really good friend, you know me so well, I just wish we both could tell. Tell if you liked me, or if I like you or if we're just being manipulated into something that's not really true.
Hey, love, thank you for being there, even if we're not meant to be. I'm still crushin' on you, I just don't want to let you see. I'm scared of my feelings, of being let down, but then again… is there any other way to know how? To know how to love, to know how to laugh, to know how to admit that we could be something more than friends.
Maybe, just maybe… we could be the game that ends.
.for public domain
As lovely as morning clouds appear
I would sometimes they’d part,
And from the gaps I’d hear
Saraphims stream their praise of Jesus,
Who I love with all my heart.
But no such voices hear I
Raining from the sky.
From the day of birth
To the day I die,
Only a cacophony of silence
Broken by thunder
And mankind’s explosions.
My fate seems no better
Than the ancient Trojans
So please speak to me of Jesus.
Your voice is all I hear,
For when two or more of you
Gather and speak in his name
I’ll believe that He is near.
Note: I Corrected the spelling of "Tojans" to "Trojans" to ease the suffering of pedants. The mispelling of, "saraphim" remains, as it more accurately depicts the speaker in the verses as not a Bilical scholar, nor a grammarian, just a commoner.
A gradually setting sun,
In denial for night to fall,
A frightening eternity, despite the attempting stars.
Returning presence of despair,
concludes absence of the light.
Ominous signals from the receptor of a pseudo reality
That there’s no more collagen left to repair
To hold your heart back together;
to deem you warm
For those whom the sun will rise for,
for those who see the stars
Hate them.
The stars are dead anyway
Your biggest star appears to be, too
Some find comfort in the cool wind
But you know,
you’ll forever be in this blizzard
The cracks of a voice spill as your head rests on my shoulder
As I face forward,
and your eyes, behind me.
Our arms wrapped one another,
you dig for the warmth
although it is already surrounding you
But you’re in the glaciers, now
The receptor proves to remain on cooldown
For I, am an attempting star.
“A friend loves at all times...” ~ Proverbs
Lord, as I think about my friend,
my prayer is for You to sustain her
with Your comfort that never ends . . .
Lord, as I think about my friend,
I pray Your love and healing send —
oh! remind her You’ll never leave her!
Lord, as I think about my friend,
my prayer is for You to sustain her
You are my sanctuary in
human form-
an unwavering solace when
the world feels discordant
and too loud.
You possess a rare
luminosity, the kind of
empathy that doesn't just
sympathize,
but bears witness. You
metabolize my uncertainties
into courage, and transmute my
ordinary moments into something
incandescent.
In you I've found a steadfast
reciprocity :
a benevolent constancy
that asks for nothing, and
gives everything.
You are the gentle
interlocutor of my unspoken
thoughts,
the celebrant of my small,
improbable triumphs,
the quiet architect who
helped me rebuild when I
came undone.
With you, vulnerability isn't
a risk- it's a homecoming.
Your presence is a benediction.
Your loyalty, a masterpiece of
grace.
Thank you for being the
kind of friend who makes
my life feel more luminous,
more tenable, more beautiful.
I am profoundly grateful our
paths converged.
Late night conversations
Leading me to long nights with
Torn up journal pages and
Back to back convos in my head
If I knew the respect I deserve
Was never there, why didn’t I leave?
Why did I have so much faith in you?
Am I too desperate trying to love again?
Sometimes I question if I was too fast
Or wasn’t moving fast enough for you?
We were on two different timings and
We could never agree on the zone we’re in
I remember the weekly arguments
The tired look on my face
With the lowest grades I’ve ever had
Everything felt delicate and I didn’t want to break it
When I think about you,
I get scared trying to love again
Sometimes I wish you’d get punished
But there’s no point to it.
At the end of the day
You still carry part of my heart
And I’m trying to peace it back together
So I can give it to the right person
No more waiting for the next one
I don’t expect my feelings to disappear
But I hope one day I can look back
And thank you for helping me know
What I want next for me.
Maybe I was stupid for loving you
But I won’t for the right one.
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