Short Ribs V: The Saga of Veronica Vole
This is the saga of Veronica Vole,
She committed the perfect crime.
Three lovers she murdered,
No, not all at once,
She did 'em in one at a time.
The first was a lemur,
A two-timing schemer,
Who seduced all thirteen of her nieces.
Every female enticed him,
So she sliced him and diced him,
Then stir-fried and ate all the pieces.
The second, a lobster,
Was also a mobster,
Who threatened her once with a putter.
So she got him alone,
Then boiled him well-done,
And finished him off with drawn butter.
The third was a vulture,
Devoid of all culture,
Whose name, she remembers, was Vince.
He was planning to eat her
After he beat her,
So she tased him in self-defense.
In a big pot she tucked him,
Then scalded and plucked him
And served him "en casserole"
To her fourth beau, a critter
Who'll make a good fritter,
She thinks as she spoons out his food,
'cause though she doesn't tend to have good taste in men,
She does tend to like men who taste good!
Ms. Vole is not a siren or femme fatale,
A dame who bilks then tells a guy to "take a hike".
At heart she is simply a sweet-natured gal
Who never met a man she didn't like.
Copyright © Jim Slaughter | Year Posted 2018
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