Get Your Premium Membership

Sand Promises

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Di11y Da11y.


For Miranda Hawley - 16 lines or less contest "Sand Promises"

Inspired by Remorse, or Sphinx Embedded in the Sand by Salvador Dali I cast off my shoes, I experience thirst Lungs filled with sand, about to burst All evidence here suggests I will lose I experience thirst, I cast off my shoes It's cold in my shadow, as I burn Buried in self pity, I'll never learn I rerun events, feel all blow by blow As I burn, it's cold in my shadow Head in hands, they take the weight The sun is setting, too little, too late And the night isn't kind in barren lands They take the weight, head in hands Sand promises you gave, I tried to swallow But they fall away, leave everything hollow If I open my eyes, there's nothing to save I tried to swallow, sand promises you gave

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 2/16/2025 11:29:00 AM
Congratulations on your placement in Brian's! Metaphors galore, -debilitating -stifling, bejewel inner sanctums, leave the beach and run for the hills haha!
Login to Reply
Anaya Avatar
I Am Anaya
Date: 2/16/2025 12:22:00 PM
lol, I'm over the moon, metaphorically speaking.
Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/16/2025 11:31:00 AM
Haha thanks Anaya, I always look over my shoulder when someone says I've used a metaphor to double check if they are talking to me :)
Date: 2/14/2025 1:08:00 AM
I’ve never seen this one by Dali before Dilly, and you’ve interpreted it beautifully, and captured the melancholic essence of the painting, I think the shadow is more a reflection of how she feels, a gaunt remorseful sinking spirit, (It's cold in my shadow, as I burn) sums up this sentiment perfectly, you absolutely nailed this one, so I will pin a fave to that rock in the foreground, cheers David
Login to Reply
Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/14/2025 5:18:00 AM
Lol :)
Kavanagh  Avatar
David Kavanagh
Date: 2/14/2025 3:54:00 AM
I thought the same thing about the rock being a self head bashing implement, perhaps offering the only escape from such desolation :)
Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/14/2025 1:56:00 AM
Thank you David. I was fascinated to look closely and see what appeared as ribs and shattered bone was a shoe and a glass. I'm sure 10 poems could bounce right out of that alone. Plus that stone in the foreground (now with your kind fave pinned on) could be the moon and the whole world is that tiny spot or indeed a head bashing tool ha! So many additional details on what could be considered a sparse painting. I'm always fascinated by which of Dali's painting were his real self ones or his cash cows and whether brilliance came through regardless. Thanks for stopping by, especially when it's looking grim haha
Date: 2/13/2025 11:59:00 PM
Love this and the art, Ekphrasis is one of my favorite forms!
Login to Reply
Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/14/2025 1:46:00 AM
Haha thanks you Arthur, it's definitely a hobby I'm well invested in. Glad you liked it :)
Date: 2/13/2025 4:43:00 PM
I certainly am enjoying your Art History classes, Dilly. This is a form I might have used once and seems a titch of a challenge, but you've mastered it in quite a few writings. Well done!
Login to Reply
Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/14/2025 1:45:00 AM
Thank you Lin, it's an interesting form that rolls out no problem if you can get a first line down it's like picking at a corner of wallpaper and then pulling off the whole sheet in one. I love looking through paintings to find inspiration, they too release full poems. I can't do anything with a blank page and a request for a sonnet though unfortunately, so I'm a bit of a one trick pony :)

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry