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Pyrrhus

We held, we loved, we were as one So fierce my heart would beat In passion’s throes a few of us Are simply meant to meet It has never been the same, old Love With any other girl One way our relationship Was just so beautiful In other ways, love cut us deep Languages out of touch I used sweet words, you used sweet deeds Passion says just so much I held, I loved, I told you so, “Hmm. Talk is cheap,” you said You stated harshly, "You're all mush. Do things for me instead!” But I felt all those pretty words It’s how I told you that Which lays so deep inside me still As I grow old and fat You held me and were often kind And so considerate To a boy who in your ways was A tad illiterate Your actions were your words, my Dear It’s how you gave the clue Concerning if our love affair Was dalliance or true And we missed each other’s signals Of deepening we felt But alone in each other’s arms Cruelties would quickly melt We were still young unformed adults Clay incompletely hot Sharp youthful edges cut into Each other’s softer spots Your friends have told me through the years That I did break your heart With a youthful indiscretion And failure to restart But that’s just the last battle in The War of Love we waged There were many I also lost That caused me pain and rage The one that strikes me as the worst Is when you told me true No matter what, I cannot be A man enough for you I told you I worked to marry I knew I was a mess But I had smarts and time and will To craft successfulness “Temporary,” you said, so stern “Just this youthful time. Lifelong’s not for us, Sweet Boy, Because you’re not my kind.” That seared me, deeply hurt inside Stabbed into my affection How can love not overcome my Mirror’s pale reflection? Few months passed 'til we fell apart Slow poisoning of mind Sharpened words and faithless acts Destructiveness sublime Then suddenly you called me with A show of love by deed “Come up and visit at my home A few last days with me. I leave here soon and I will go Across the distant sea I’ll be gone for a long time to A place you cannot be I know of your Faithless Ir- responsibility I know how we have fought our War You still can come to me Your flowered words were very true? Then prove it if you dare Come up to see me at my home And show me that you care! Your pillow talk was oh so real?! Was it?! Okay. Then SHOW! Come quickly, please, to be with me Before I have to go… Come to me, and I will be Yours, Sweet Boy, And We Can be.” I crafted silly lame excuses Honesty’s truth, I lied. I made up reasons not to come Because of smitten pride But panic soon took hold of me I could not let you go I had to find a way to you To make sure that you'd know I worked some angles, made some calls I did some begging too Frantically acquiring means To come and visit you Not an hour past our last call I picked back up the phone To say, “Yes, Love. I come quickly. You will not be alone. I cannot resist your summons I am on my way to you I'll be there on this very night To show you that I’m true I’ll come to you and lightly touch Your face, your skin, your mane I’ll smell your scent, touch your limbs Love bursting in my brain Love coursing through my chest again Infatuating me Love filling up my mind with you Love saturating me I will hold you, my heart will skip The beat it’s always done Since we met and I waved at you When we had just begun I’ll seek your absolution For all my faithless lies We’ll be one as we always are When I’m between your thighs I’ll be your man, my dusky Love Again you’ll fall for me In time, I know I’ll change your mind On our longevity I will hold you, Anew, Just you No War, So true No more.” My heart scarred by our lengthy fight, Phone not yet re-dialed I sat thinking of our next steps There cringing like a child I thought of when you would return And I in love with you Will you want to hold onto me Or will we then be through? Would you come home to me again, And say, “It’s meant to be A love affair for you, Sweet Boy, Just temporarily.” Your words about Ancestors’ homes Two thousand miles apart And words about our creeds had rent A schism in my heart So I worried my path to you Was insurmountable Because our future was doomed by An ancient Papal bull “What’s the point when our fate was set Ten centuries ago? Why should I be the simp’ring fool When we can’t really grow? And why should she be satisfied By knowing how I care? Why should she ever see again My tears fall in her hair?! Why should I let her be the one To see my love, then go?! To cast aside, in full time Her last, ‘I told you so?!’ Who has to face this futureless?! On me! Me! She’ll just go! Heartbreak then, for a moment’s kiss?! Just now?! Just NOW!! Just...no… It feels like death, but she’ll be gone Out of sight, out of mind Other girls and a party life Will make my heart go blind.” The phone was beeping, off the hook, So long had I sat there I got up, I went to a bar… And drank ‘til unaware. …. My Celtic soul grows sad you see On chill and lonesome nights I contemplate in quietude Our battles and our fights Melancholy painful scars I prod so tenderly Knowing our young time together Still means so much to me On that call I missed your message So vulnerably said Through youth and fear and malted hops All brewing in my head With hindsight and experience And wisdom grown by time I understand, I could not then You crossed our battle line I know, old Love, how brave it was For you to try to tell To throw aside your wounded pride And call me to your bell You hate me so, were hurt so bad I know not where you are I could find much more easily A dim uncharted star You've never known my near retreat Or how my world shattered And guilt still felt for wounding a Love who truly mattered I should have called!! I should have gone!! To see you when you asked Glad to lose that last fight given How victory collapsed And if I could do It all again I’d come to you, Agapi Mou, In the end

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021




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